Grin And Bear It
Hello World,
Well, it certainly seems with everything else that's been going on around here lately, that Friday the 13th has certainly snuck up on us all, and none the wiser. This year, we'll be having two of them, with the other occurring in July, and you know what they say about fore-warned is for-got and never brought to mind, or some auld acquaintance thing like that anyway. In any event, now that you know when it is, if you're planning to have any bad luck, at least you'll know when to schedule it. After all, these old superstitions don't just happen by themselves, you know. So let's all get out there and do our part, and be just as unlucky as we can possibly be. I don't mind saying that for some of us, that won't be any challenge at all.
Of course, this is not the only important day in April, not by any means. We all remember Helga, our retired co-worker who comes to visit us on a regular basis at the hospital, and even in the most horrible weather, which she could never seem to accomplish when she was a paid employee of the place, but that's neither here nor there. She brought us a list of events for the month that had been compiled over the years by one of her neighbors, and so we have Joseph J. Cusimano to thank for the following excerpts of historical trivia:
April 9
Civil War ends (1865)
Ebbets Field opens (1913)
Hugh Hefner born (1926)
Hitler invades Norway (1940)
April 15
President Lincoln dies (1865)
Titanic sinks (1912)
Jackie Robinson breaks color barrier (1947)
First McDonald's opens (1955)
Shea Stadium opens (1964)
April 18
Paul Revere's ride (1775)
San Francisco earthquake (1906)
Yankee Stadium opens (1923)
Doolittle raid on Tokyo (1942)
Albert Einstein dies (1955)
It just goes on and on like that, with some notable tidbit on every date, from the NYC subway strike on April 1 1980 to George Washington's inauguration on April 30 1789, and everything in between. Some of the births of note included Adolph Hitler, the young princess who became Queen Elizabeth II, Thomas Jefferson and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel. Among those picking this month to breathe their last were Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesse James, Benito Mussolini, Franklin Roosevelt, Joe Louis and the Third Avenue Elevated Subway line. The month also saw the first cosmonaut (1961), a royal wedding in Monaco (1956), a new Pope (2005) and a Bay of Pigs in 1961. Some days have only one event to boast of, while other days have 2, 4 or even more over the course of many different years. This is certainly all the proof, if any was needed, that April is not a month to be trifled with, and no fooling.
Speaking of things not to be trifled with, and people in the local area know this weather has been no joke, I had the following communication forwarded to me, courtesy of an alert reader (thanks, Rich!) and I pass this along as a public service:
===========================
Dear Comrade,
Pleasing to report to you on great progress of new glorious weather machine. For reliability to exceed 5 year plan, it is now with pleasure to announce conversion to Kelvin temperature standard of 0' Absolut. During hours of 0200 to 0600 on 1 May 2007, (glorious day in Mother Russia), we will be preforming great transition. Please accepting apology in advance for small errors in programming. In converting F to K, brief periods in excess of -300' Fahrenheit may be possible. It is not advisable to have little katski & dogski on the outside during this period.
Comrade Mischka
============================
Well, once again, remember what they say about being fore-warned. (I think it had something to do with our fore-fathers having fore-bears with four arms, but I'm not exactly sure of the specifics. Or perhaps it was that two-fisted Second Amendment, which protects our right to arm bears, or maybe it's our right to arm-wrestle bears instead, although I have to say that I've never been 100% behind that idea.) Well, whatever happens, don't say I didn't warn you. Of course, if the arm-wrestling bears show up, you're on your own.
Last Saturday, I went into the city to visit one of NYU's prize students (thanks, Jenny!) and we took the opportunity to attend an exhibit on Taxis of the Future at the Jacob Javits Center along 11th Avenue. The meter was running on this show (get it?) at the same time as the International Auto Show was tearing up the main exhibition area upstairs, and drawing throngs of automotive enthusiasts from all over. The taxi program was interesting and informative, and had the major advantage of being free to anyone who wanted to meander downstairs from the main event, or wander in off the sidewalk as we did. The Javits Center is certainly an imposing structure, and with the Hudson River right behind it, not to mention New Jersey hard on its heels, it's hard to imagine that the crowded skyscrapers of midtown Manhattan are just a few blocks away. We had a good time and even learned something along the way. (The year 2007 marks the hundredth anniversary of the first gas-powered taxi in New York City.) The day after that was Easter, and some of us met at the Roslyn duck pond (whose official name is Gerry Park, although why anyone would call a duck "Gerry" is beyond me) for old time's sake and to enjoy the scenery. The park has signs all over about not feeding the waterfowl, however no one explained this to the birds, who routinely ignore these signs, and everywhere you go in the park, you can be trailed by a phalanx of eager seagulls, mallards, white ducks and Canada geese, all on the lookout for whatever treats you may have brought along for them. The park is quaint and old-fashioned, with a grist mill and small wooden bridges over babbling brooks throughout, and remains charmingly untouched by the passage of time. It was too cold to picnic at the park (and I can't say that I would have liked our chances against those geese in any case) and there was even snow, no doubt courtesy of our old nemesis Comrade Mischka, who obviously didn't have the day off, and thanks very much not. So we had lunch at the diner instead, and then went to Mom's to wrap up a very nice day. Here the Birthday Caravan bearing early pansies collided with the Easter Bunny bringing pink hyacinths and tulips, and the resulting riot of color was a sight to behold, and refreshing as a spring breeze.
Later that night, Bill and I were checking in with the news on television, looking for sports scores of the local teams, and instead spotted a story from a young correspondent who explained that the blustery weather had been no deterrent to those hardy souls who donned their gay apparel to participate in what she referred to as "the Easter Day Parade." Now, you just hold it right there! I said to Bill, for heaven's sake, there is NO such thing as the Easter Day Parade. It's not like St. Patrick's Day or Memorial Day, or even Groundhog Day, nobody calls it Easter Day, as if it's just any old event that they pick a day for and people wear funny hats. This would be like having a July 4th Day Parade, or a Halloween Day Parade, the "day" part of it is simply insupportable. And that sound that you hear is poor Irving Berlin spinning in his grave, and I can't say that I blame him. "In your Easter Day bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest lady in the Easter Day Parade!"
Speaking of music, I suppose I may be the only person that finds this funny, but I was at an online purveyor of entertainment products recently, and while looking for some audio CDs from a particular era, they were quick to point out other suggestions that I might be interested in. I admit that I laughed out loud when one of their recommendations turned out to be a selection from a group called Freakwater with the intriguing title of "Feels Like the Third Time," and which was just oblique enough to be oddly humorous for no particular reason. Perhaps you had to be there, sort of like this other story. Today at work, I was starting to get everything packed away for the day, and two people from our department said good night to me as they were leaving. I noticed they bumped into our bookkeeper down the hall, who made an elaborate show of pretending to look at her watch, and made some comment about everyone leaving so she would be the only one working the night shift. (She was kidding, obviously, because the administrative staff already makes enough mistakes just during the day, that if they made that same amount of mistakes also at night, the hospital would never recover.) They wished her a nice weekend and went on their way. A little while later, I went down the hall to put out my paper recycling, and also bumped into the bookkeeper, who regarded me with her hands on her hips and announced in an indignant manner, "And I suppose that you're thinking of going home, too!" as if I was taking a great liberty and she was affronted by my audacity. I laughed.
Well, I suppose now that Easter and Passover and even Friday the 13th have come and gone, there's not much else to look forward to around here. Unlike those halcyon days of yore, when President Taft threw out the first baseball on April 14, 1910, or the Whitestone Bridge opened on April 29, 1939. Ah, those were the days indeed. Not a bit like nowadays, for instance, when I was coming home from work last week and found myself in the same intersection as a purple cement mixer, and you can believe me when I say that sight has very little to recommend it, and I say that as a person who happens to like purple a lot. So my advice to you would be to remain vigilant, because there are a lot of things to watch out for, and if you can't be four-armed, at least you can be four-warned. Of course, if the arm-wrestling bears show up, I'd personally prefer to be something with four-wheels instead, and just watch the fur fly!
Well, it certainly seems with everything else that's been going on around here lately, that Friday the 13th has certainly snuck up on us all, and none the wiser. This year, we'll be having two of them, with the other occurring in July, and you know what they say about fore-warned is for-got and never brought to mind, or some auld acquaintance thing like that anyway. In any event, now that you know when it is, if you're planning to have any bad luck, at least you'll know when to schedule it. After all, these old superstitions don't just happen by themselves, you know. So let's all get out there and do our part, and be just as unlucky as we can possibly be. I don't mind saying that for some of us, that won't be any challenge at all.
Of course, this is not the only important day in April, not by any means. We all remember Helga, our retired co-worker who comes to visit us on a regular basis at the hospital, and even in the most horrible weather, which she could never seem to accomplish when she was a paid employee of the place, but that's neither here nor there. She brought us a list of events for the month that had been compiled over the years by one of her neighbors, and so we have Joseph J. Cusimano to thank for the following excerpts of historical trivia:
April 9
Civil War ends (1865)
Ebbets Field opens (1913)
Hugh Hefner born (1926)
Hitler invades Norway (1940)
April 15
President Lincoln dies (1865)
Titanic sinks (1912)
Jackie Robinson breaks color barrier (1947)
First McDonald's opens (1955)
Shea Stadium opens (1964)
April 18
Paul Revere's ride (1775)
San Francisco earthquake (1906)
Yankee Stadium opens (1923)
Doolittle raid on Tokyo (1942)
Albert Einstein dies (1955)
It just goes on and on like that, with some notable tidbit on every date, from the NYC subway strike on April 1 1980 to George Washington's inauguration on April 30 1789, and everything in between. Some of the births of note included Adolph Hitler, the young princess who became Queen Elizabeth II, Thomas Jefferson and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel. Among those picking this month to breathe their last were Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesse James, Benito Mussolini, Franklin Roosevelt, Joe Louis and the Third Avenue Elevated Subway line. The month also saw the first cosmonaut (1961), a royal wedding in Monaco (1956), a new Pope (2005) and a Bay of Pigs in 1961. Some days have only one event to boast of, while other days have 2, 4 or even more over the course of many different years. This is certainly all the proof, if any was needed, that April is not a month to be trifled with, and no fooling.
Speaking of things not to be trifled with, and people in the local area know this weather has been no joke, I had the following communication forwarded to me, courtesy of an alert reader (thanks, Rich!) and I pass this along as a public service:
===========================
Dear Comrade,
Pleasing to report to you on great progress of new glorious weather machine. For reliability to exceed 5 year plan, it is now with pleasure to announce conversion to Kelvin temperature standard of 0' Absolut. During hours of 0200 to 0600 on 1 May 2007, (glorious day in Mother Russia), we will be preforming great transition. Please accepting apology in advance for small errors in programming. In converting F to K, brief periods in excess of -300' Fahrenheit may be possible. It is not advisable to have little katski & dogski on the outside during this period.
Comrade Mischka
============================
Well, once again, remember what they say about being fore-warned. (I think it had something to do with our fore-fathers having fore-bears with four arms, but I'm not exactly sure of the specifics. Or perhaps it was that two-fisted Second Amendment, which protects our right to arm bears, or maybe it's our right to arm-wrestle bears instead, although I have to say that I've never been 100% behind that idea.) Well, whatever happens, don't say I didn't warn you. Of course, if the arm-wrestling bears show up, you're on your own.
Last Saturday, I went into the city to visit one of NYU's prize students (thanks, Jenny!) and we took the opportunity to attend an exhibit on Taxis of the Future at the Jacob Javits Center along 11th Avenue. The meter was running on this show (get it?) at the same time as the International Auto Show was tearing up the main exhibition area upstairs, and drawing throngs of automotive enthusiasts from all over. The taxi program was interesting and informative, and had the major advantage of being free to anyone who wanted to meander downstairs from the main event, or wander in off the sidewalk as we did. The Javits Center is certainly an imposing structure, and with the Hudson River right behind it, not to mention New Jersey hard on its heels, it's hard to imagine that the crowded skyscrapers of midtown Manhattan are just a few blocks away. We had a good time and even learned something along the way. (The year 2007 marks the hundredth anniversary of the first gas-powered taxi in New York City.) The day after that was Easter, and some of us met at the Roslyn duck pond (whose official name is Gerry Park, although why anyone would call a duck "Gerry" is beyond me) for old time's sake and to enjoy the scenery. The park has signs all over about not feeding the waterfowl, however no one explained this to the birds, who routinely ignore these signs, and everywhere you go in the park, you can be trailed by a phalanx of eager seagulls, mallards, white ducks and Canada geese, all on the lookout for whatever treats you may have brought along for them. The park is quaint and old-fashioned, with a grist mill and small wooden bridges over babbling brooks throughout, and remains charmingly untouched by the passage of time. It was too cold to picnic at the park (and I can't say that I would have liked our chances against those geese in any case) and there was even snow, no doubt courtesy of our old nemesis Comrade Mischka, who obviously didn't have the day off, and thanks very much not. So we had lunch at the diner instead, and then went to Mom's to wrap up a very nice day. Here the Birthday Caravan bearing early pansies collided with the Easter Bunny bringing pink hyacinths and tulips, and the resulting riot of color was a sight to behold, and refreshing as a spring breeze.
Later that night, Bill and I were checking in with the news on television, looking for sports scores of the local teams, and instead spotted a story from a young correspondent who explained that the blustery weather had been no deterrent to those hardy souls who donned their gay apparel to participate in what she referred to as "the Easter Day Parade." Now, you just hold it right there! I said to Bill, for heaven's sake, there is NO such thing as the Easter Day Parade. It's not like St. Patrick's Day or Memorial Day, or even Groundhog Day, nobody calls it Easter Day, as if it's just any old event that they pick a day for and people wear funny hats. This would be like having a July 4th Day Parade, or a Halloween Day Parade, the "day" part of it is simply insupportable. And that sound that you hear is poor Irving Berlin spinning in his grave, and I can't say that I blame him. "In your Easter Day bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest lady in the Easter Day Parade!"
Speaking of music, I suppose I may be the only person that finds this funny, but I was at an online purveyor of entertainment products recently, and while looking for some audio CDs from a particular era, they were quick to point out other suggestions that I might be interested in. I admit that I laughed out loud when one of their recommendations turned out to be a selection from a group called Freakwater with the intriguing title of "Feels Like the Third Time," and which was just oblique enough to be oddly humorous for no particular reason. Perhaps you had to be there, sort of like this other story. Today at work, I was starting to get everything packed away for the day, and two people from our department said good night to me as they were leaving. I noticed they bumped into our bookkeeper down the hall, who made an elaborate show of pretending to look at her watch, and made some comment about everyone leaving so she would be the only one working the night shift. (She was kidding, obviously, because the administrative staff already makes enough mistakes just during the day, that if they made that same amount of mistakes also at night, the hospital would never recover.) They wished her a nice weekend and went on their way. A little while later, I went down the hall to put out my paper recycling, and also bumped into the bookkeeper, who regarded me with her hands on her hips and announced in an indignant manner, "And I suppose that you're thinking of going home, too!" as if I was taking a great liberty and she was affronted by my audacity. I laughed.
Well, I suppose now that Easter and Passover and even Friday the 13th have come and gone, there's not much else to look forward to around here. Unlike those halcyon days of yore, when President Taft threw out the first baseball on April 14, 1910, or the Whitestone Bridge opened on April 29, 1939. Ah, those were the days indeed. Not a bit like nowadays, for instance, when I was coming home from work last week and found myself in the same intersection as a purple cement mixer, and you can believe me when I say that sight has very little to recommend it, and I say that as a person who happens to like purple a lot. So my advice to you would be to remain vigilant, because there are a lot of things to watch out for, and if you can't be four-armed, at least you can be four-warned. Of course, if the arm-wrestling bears show up, I'd personally prefer to be something with four-wheels instead, and just watch the fur fly!
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 7:33 PM
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