Grazing in the Grass
Hello World,
Happy Halloween! I hope that you are having a ghoulishly good time with all of your fiends and familiars, because tonight is the night when all the ghosts and goblins come out to play, and if you're out there playing with them, I hope it's utterly spook-tacular. And not to be an alarmist or anything on this creepy occasion, but apparently this is the weekend that the new and (not) improved Daylight Saving Time takes effect, switching back over to Standard Time on Sunday morning, so that dazed and confused Christians everywhere will be going to church at the wrong time all over the country, and I don't doubt that I will be one of them. This isn't so bad at the Catholic churches where they have worship all day long, one after another, but for those churches like mine with only one service, we'll be finding ourselves out in the cold. If this was a horror movie, it would be called, "The Return of the Battle for the Revenge of Beneath the Planet of the Sleepy Protestants," and it would not be a pretty sight, I can tell you that.
This holiday, I finally broke out a costume that I've had for many, many years, but could never talk myself into wearing, so whether the world was ready for it or not, we finally had The Hula Girl at work. Yes, complete with (plastic) grass skirt, flower leis, flower head band, barrettes, sandals, even a ukulele, and of course, the requisite coconut bra. (Obviously, I was wearing a tan leotard underneath.) It turned out to be a popular costume at work, or perhaps their standards have just dropped over the years, or else they've realized that I'm not going to stop, so they may as well just humor me. In fact, some people at our sister institution in Mount Vernon, who had heard about the costume but not seen it, asked me to send them pictures, because they didn't want to miss it. On the contrary, I averred, this costume might actually be an idea whose time has not yet come, and in fact, might never come, and that being the case, they would be just as glad not to have pictures of it. Meanwhile, another colleague from the Mount Vernon campus sent me a goodie bag full of Halloween candy via inter-office mail, which was not only a sweet treat, but had a novelty factor that would be hard to beat.
When I first tried the costume on, I thought it would be comfortable enough to work in, but I had no idea until I left the house in the morning, how a grass skirt is just about the most impractical thing you can wear. It's not a problem to walk in, but when you try to climb stairs, you step on the front of it. When you sit down at your desk, the wheels on your chair roll over it so you can't stand back up again, without sliding onto the floor and pulling the strands out from under the casters. If you go outside, every little breeze that comes up blows the skirt in every direction, so anyone in the world can see the plaid clam diggers that you're wearing underneath for modesty's sake, and a good thing, too. It didn't take long for me to realize that it's no wonder that grass skirts never caught on in the business world to any extent. In fact, not to be indelicate about it, but when the time came for me to use the ladies room, I had no alternative but to just take the skirt off completely (it has Velcro at the waist, so it's very simple) because there was just no way to maneuver around it. Over the years, I've worn dozens of different costumes at work, and I wouldn't say this one was uncomfortable, but it certainly took a lot more concentration than they usually do.
When the time came for me to make my rounds to trick-or-treat around the hospital campus, I greeted everyone with "aloha" and said that I was spreading sunshine everywhere I went. The costume was a big hit, and everyone particularly loved the coconuts. One co-worker clasped her hands together and gushed, "You are just absolutely, absolutely ..... " And then she stopped right there, shaking her head and leaving the rest of us to wonder where she was going with that thought. Adorable? Absurd? Obscene? Insane? I guess we'll never know. Another co-worker from the next department, every time I saw him in the hallway, he took another stab at guessing what my costume was, starting out with pumpkin, and moving on to bumble bee and light bulb, before finally winding up at fairy godmother, over the course of the day. In my travels, I found more people dressed up at work than I have in years, which really surprised me. The entire Medical Records department was in costume, as well as Employee Health, although I told them in the department of Medicine that they had no imagination, since everyone was dressed up as a doctor. They were having a swinging time of it at the Adult Day party, with cake and decorations that were a sight to behold. I love going to the party in the Nursing Home, because they always put funny hats on the residents, and the staff has the greatest costumes. (They change into them for the party, so it's not like trying to work in them all day long, which makes a big difference.) There were even two dogs there, dressed up as a bride and groom, and they were just too adorable. It was a little bit challenging to get around everywhere I needed to go, up and down stairs, without tripping on my grass skirt or flowered flip-flops, which added a nice effect, but like clown shoes, were way over-sized and hard to walk in. But I was very popular everywhere I went, and everyone knows that popularity is its own reward, or something like that.
This year was a fairly good one for trick-or-treating at work, which is not something that can be counted on, and I actually got candy in most departments that I visited. Even better, I didn't "hemorrhage" candy along the way, which is when you go to a department to trick-or-treat, and they not only have no candy to give you, but they look in your bag and mooch stuff that you've already gotten from other departments (I point out that this would be considered the reverse of standard trick-or-treating practice) so that you return to your office with less candy than you started with. At least it was a big improvement in that respect. One thing I couldn't compete with was what appears to be our resident hawk, who had caught something for lunch and was putting on its very own nature documentary in the courtyard, drawing employees out of their departments and to the overlooking windows all around the campus, as if this was the most fascinating thing that had ever happened there. You would think a person in a hula costume walking the halls would get some attention, but you can believe me that this raptor-themed version of reality TV single-handedly brought the entire hospital's productivity to its knees at a stroke. I'm not sure I've ever had a costume that would compete with that, although one of my co-workers always requested Lady Godiva, and I suppose that might have had a shot at it after all.
After what turned into a long day of wrestling with plastic grass, sliding out of my sandals, trying to hula dance (badly) when asked, and pretending to play my prop ukulele (even worse) when prompted, I was just as glad at the end of the day to pack it in and head for home. I rushed to the parking lot with all of my plastic grass trailing along out behind me, with my leis blown over my shoulders and holding onto my head band with both hands. I straightened myself out so that Bill could take pictures, which I keep in my Halloween memory album to show people at work who missed my costume. After that, I had time to give the front steps and walk another quick swipe, and wolf down a bagel for dinner, so that I would be all set up and ready before anyone came to the door. I followed that with a few handfuls of fun-size candy bars from the bowl that I leave in the vestibule when we're at work, in case anyone stops by for candy when we're not home. I've had that candy for a month, and hadn't eaten any of it so far, so I figured I could indulge in some now, in honor of the holiday, and not to mention, its well-known therapeutic benefits, which I certainly needed. Hawaiians may seem like jolly people, but I can tell you that being a hula girl is hard work.
Halloween started early at our house, with our first callers arriving at 6:30, which seemed a little earlier than usual nowadays. The weather held up at night, nice and clear as it was during the day, with a little bit of a chill, but that's not a bad thing for people traipsing around in costumes. We already had 50 tricksters by 8:00, and I figured we might see record numbers before the night was over, especially being a Friday night and good weather. I had made up 110 goodie bags, so it was easy to keep track of how many callers we had, by counting up the bags that were left. What happened instead is that it really tailed off after that, with only another 7 or 8 in the next 45 minutes, and we ended up the night with only 65 altogether, which really surprised me, and I couldn't help but be disappointed. I also didn't see as many older teenagers as I expected, who usually come later, and out with a group just goofing around. Usually, I have bunches of youngsters coming together with one or two adults shepherding them around, but this year was notable for children coming singly, with only one relative who often didn't even come up the steps to trick-or-treat for themselves or another family member, like an infant who had already fallen asleep, or the family dog dressed up as a nun. I had my last two princesses at 9:00 sharp, and after that, it was like turning off a light switch, and it was all over, including the shouting. I found this an odd year for costumes, even more than usual, especially since I had no one from High School Musical, which I thought would be a big deal this time. This is also the first time I can remember having no Freddie Krugers or Michael Myers, because those masks are so pervasive and timeless, they're something that I can count on seeing year after year. Not this year though, and I also had no ghosts or clowns, and only one witch, unlike usually, when I have them in abundance. It was a big year for princesses at 9, and pirates at 4, plus vampires also at 4, of which two were technically vampiresses. There were 3 Screams, 3 Batmans, 3 babies, 3 football players, 2 Power Rangers, 2 fairies, and 3 people claming to be "gangstas" although they seemed pretty clean cut to me. Among the singles, I had Stewie from Family Guy, SpongeBob SquarePants, Darth Vader, Chucky, Hellboy, a baseball player and a basketball player, a cat, an elephant, a ninja, a French maid, a scarecrow, a devil, a zombie, a skeleton, a wizard, a ladybug, a jester, a genie, and the most adorable Lightning McQueen from the animated feature Cars. This was my first year for having a plumber, as well as Barack Obama, so the presidential campaign had more effect on costumes this time around than any of the current movies. Last year, Halloween was on a Wednesday and I gave out 94 goodie bags, and although it was warmer than this year, I wouldn't expect that to account for the difference. And in economically troubled times, you would think there would be more, rather than fewer, people going around looking for a hand-out, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see a few bank presidents and stock traders stopping by for some free food while the getting's good. Perhaps they already heard about my hula costume, and were scared off by the thought that I have a prop ukulele, and I'm not afraid to use it. Oh Danny Boy, anyone?
Happy Halloween! I hope that you are having a ghoulishly good time with all of your fiends and familiars, because tonight is the night when all the ghosts and goblins come out to play, and if you're out there playing with them, I hope it's utterly spook-tacular. And not to be an alarmist or anything on this creepy occasion, but apparently this is the weekend that the new and (not) improved Daylight Saving Time takes effect, switching back over to Standard Time on Sunday morning, so that dazed and confused Christians everywhere will be going to church at the wrong time all over the country, and I don't doubt that I will be one of them. This isn't so bad at the Catholic churches where they have worship all day long, one after another, but for those churches like mine with only one service, we'll be finding ourselves out in the cold. If this was a horror movie, it would be called, "The Return of the Battle for the Revenge of Beneath the Planet of the Sleepy Protestants," and it would not be a pretty sight, I can tell you that.
This holiday, I finally broke out a costume that I've had for many, many years, but could never talk myself into wearing, so whether the world was ready for it or not, we finally had The Hula Girl at work. Yes, complete with (plastic) grass skirt, flower leis, flower head band, barrettes, sandals, even a ukulele, and of course, the requisite coconut bra. (Obviously, I was wearing a tan leotard underneath.) It turned out to be a popular costume at work, or perhaps their standards have just dropped over the years, or else they've realized that I'm not going to stop, so they may as well just humor me. In fact, some people at our sister institution in Mount Vernon, who had heard about the costume but not seen it, asked me to send them pictures, because they didn't want to miss it. On the contrary, I averred, this costume might actually be an idea whose time has not yet come, and in fact, might never come, and that being the case, they would be just as glad not to have pictures of it. Meanwhile, another colleague from the Mount Vernon campus sent me a goodie bag full of Halloween candy via inter-office mail, which was not only a sweet treat, but had a novelty factor that would be hard to beat.
When I first tried the costume on, I thought it would be comfortable enough to work in, but I had no idea until I left the house in the morning, how a grass skirt is just about the most impractical thing you can wear. It's not a problem to walk in, but when you try to climb stairs, you step on the front of it. When you sit down at your desk, the wheels on your chair roll over it so you can't stand back up again, without sliding onto the floor and pulling the strands out from under the casters. If you go outside, every little breeze that comes up blows the skirt in every direction, so anyone in the world can see the plaid clam diggers that you're wearing underneath for modesty's sake, and a good thing, too. It didn't take long for me to realize that it's no wonder that grass skirts never caught on in the business world to any extent. In fact, not to be indelicate about it, but when the time came for me to use the ladies room, I had no alternative but to just take the skirt off completely (it has Velcro at the waist, so it's very simple) because there was just no way to maneuver around it. Over the years, I've worn dozens of different costumes at work, and I wouldn't say this one was uncomfortable, but it certainly took a lot more concentration than they usually do.
When the time came for me to make my rounds to trick-or-treat around the hospital campus, I greeted everyone with "aloha" and said that I was spreading sunshine everywhere I went. The costume was a big hit, and everyone particularly loved the coconuts. One co-worker clasped her hands together and gushed, "You are just absolutely, absolutely ..... " And then she stopped right there, shaking her head and leaving the rest of us to wonder where she was going with that thought. Adorable? Absurd? Obscene? Insane? I guess we'll never know. Another co-worker from the next department, every time I saw him in the hallway, he took another stab at guessing what my costume was, starting out with pumpkin, and moving on to bumble bee and light bulb, before finally winding up at fairy godmother, over the course of the day. In my travels, I found more people dressed up at work than I have in years, which really surprised me. The entire Medical Records department was in costume, as well as Employee Health, although I told them in the department of Medicine that they had no imagination, since everyone was dressed up as a doctor. They were having a swinging time of it at the Adult Day party, with cake and decorations that were a sight to behold. I love going to the party in the Nursing Home, because they always put funny hats on the residents, and the staff has the greatest costumes. (They change into them for the party, so it's not like trying to work in them all day long, which makes a big difference.) There were even two dogs there, dressed up as a bride and groom, and they were just too adorable. It was a little bit challenging to get around everywhere I needed to go, up and down stairs, without tripping on my grass skirt or flowered flip-flops, which added a nice effect, but like clown shoes, were way over-sized and hard to walk in. But I was very popular everywhere I went, and everyone knows that popularity is its own reward, or something like that.
This year was a fairly good one for trick-or-treating at work, which is not something that can be counted on, and I actually got candy in most departments that I visited. Even better, I didn't "hemorrhage" candy along the way, which is when you go to a department to trick-or-treat, and they not only have no candy to give you, but they look in your bag and mooch stuff that you've already gotten from other departments (I point out that this would be considered the reverse of standard trick-or-treating practice) so that you return to your office with less candy than you started with. At least it was a big improvement in that respect. One thing I couldn't compete with was what appears to be our resident hawk, who had caught something for lunch and was putting on its very own nature documentary in the courtyard, drawing employees out of their departments and to the overlooking windows all around the campus, as if this was the most fascinating thing that had ever happened there. You would think a person in a hula costume walking the halls would get some attention, but you can believe me that this raptor-themed version of reality TV single-handedly brought the entire hospital's productivity to its knees at a stroke. I'm not sure I've ever had a costume that would compete with that, although one of my co-workers always requested Lady Godiva, and I suppose that might have had a shot at it after all.
After what turned into a long day of wrestling with plastic grass, sliding out of my sandals, trying to hula dance (badly) when asked, and pretending to play my prop ukulele (even worse) when prompted, I was just as glad at the end of the day to pack it in and head for home. I rushed to the parking lot with all of my plastic grass trailing along out behind me, with my leis blown over my shoulders and holding onto my head band with both hands. I straightened myself out so that Bill could take pictures, which I keep in my Halloween memory album to show people at work who missed my costume. After that, I had time to give the front steps and walk another quick swipe, and wolf down a bagel for dinner, so that I would be all set up and ready before anyone came to the door. I followed that with a few handfuls of fun-size candy bars from the bowl that I leave in the vestibule when we're at work, in case anyone stops by for candy when we're not home. I've had that candy for a month, and hadn't eaten any of it so far, so I figured I could indulge in some now, in honor of the holiday, and not to mention, its well-known therapeutic benefits, which I certainly needed. Hawaiians may seem like jolly people, but I can tell you that being a hula girl is hard work.
Halloween started early at our house, with our first callers arriving at 6:30, which seemed a little earlier than usual nowadays. The weather held up at night, nice and clear as it was during the day, with a little bit of a chill, but that's not a bad thing for people traipsing around in costumes. We already had 50 tricksters by 8:00, and I figured we might see record numbers before the night was over, especially being a Friday night and good weather. I had made up 110 goodie bags, so it was easy to keep track of how many callers we had, by counting up the bags that were left. What happened instead is that it really tailed off after that, with only another 7 or 8 in the next 45 minutes, and we ended up the night with only 65 altogether, which really surprised me, and I couldn't help but be disappointed. I also didn't see as many older teenagers as I expected, who usually come later, and out with a group just goofing around. Usually, I have bunches of youngsters coming together with one or two adults shepherding them around, but this year was notable for children coming singly, with only one relative who often didn't even come up the steps to trick-or-treat for themselves or another family member, like an infant who had already fallen asleep, or the family dog dressed up as a nun. I had my last two princesses at 9:00 sharp, and after that, it was like turning off a light switch, and it was all over, including the shouting. I found this an odd year for costumes, even more than usual, especially since I had no one from High School Musical, which I thought would be a big deal this time. This is also the first time I can remember having no Freddie Krugers or Michael Myers, because those masks are so pervasive and timeless, they're something that I can count on seeing year after year. Not this year though, and I also had no ghosts or clowns, and only one witch, unlike usually, when I have them in abundance. It was a big year for princesses at 9, and pirates at 4, plus vampires also at 4, of which two were technically vampiresses. There were 3 Screams, 3 Batmans, 3 babies, 3 football players, 2 Power Rangers, 2 fairies, and 3 people claming to be "gangstas" although they seemed pretty clean cut to me. Among the singles, I had Stewie from Family Guy, SpongeBob SquarePants, Darth Vader, Chucky, Hellboy, a baseball player and a basketball player, a cat, an elephant, a ninja, a French maid, a scarecrow, a devil, a zombie, a skeleton, a wizard, a ladybug, a jester, a genie, and the most adorable Lightning McQueen from the animated feature Cars. This was my first year for having a plumber, as well as Barack Obama, so the presidential campaign had more effect on costumes this time around than any of the current movies. Last year, Halloween was on a Wednesday and I gave out 94 goodie bags, and although it was warmer than this year, I wouldn't expect that to account for the difference. And in economically troubled times, you would think there would be more, rather than fewer, people going around looking for a hand-out, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see a few bank presidents and stock traders stopping by for some free food while the getting's good. Perhaps they already heard about my hula costume, and were scared off by the thought that I have a prop ukulele, and I'm not afraid to use it. Oh Danny Boy, anyone?
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 8:44 PM
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