Chair Man of the Board
Hello World,
Right now, I'm taking an extremely slow and steady approach to wishing you a very cautious Friday the 13th, which I hope will find you being careful and safe, and not involved in something that I'll be reading about in the newspapers later. It seems that the media is awash with reports of planes falling out of the sky, cars running over the unwary, and even buildings falling on people when they're not watching, so it's really true that you don't know exactly what might hit you next. (Or in the case of Groundhog Day, what might bite you next, and I can't say that I blame him.) Of course, we all know that whenever a month starts on a Sunday, there will be a Friday the 13th, and because this is not a Leap Year, and February only has 28 days, it's a certainty that March will also start on Sunday and have its own Friday the 13th to watch out for. Every year has to have at least one month that starts on a Sunday, but 2009 stands alone among its neighbors by having three, because we'll be seeing this same situation again in November. Meanwhile, both 2008 and 2010 only have one month like that each, so this would be a good time for those triskaidekaphobics out there to switch over to the Chinese lunar calendar for a year, and switch back to the Gregorian calendar next year, when things have settled back down, at least until August. In the meantime, we should all keep away from anything that rolls, flies, burrows or stands still, and since that covers pretty much everything, don't say that I didn't warn you.
Speaking of getting hit with things, of course tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and we can be sure that Cupid will be out there shooting his arrows at people far and wide, or perhaps near and narrow, but either way, he's bound to be out there giving it the old college try, just like always. Valentine's Day is always a welcome treat in the winter doldrums, and even more so when it doesn't fall in Lent, as it doesn't this year, so people can go ahead and enjoy all of those extravagant indulgences that they usually give up in the pre-Easter spirit of self-reflection and sacrifice. It may be too much to hope that this will make the world safe from grouchy Christians who have given up chocolate for Lent, but it's a step in the right direction. Also taking steps in the right direction, this weekend is the time for the three most beautiful words in the English language, Pitchers And Catchers, giving us all a reason to keep on living, in spite of it all. When local sports fans have seen their hopes dashed in football, basketball and hockey, the prospect of Spring Training offers us new hope for redemption and joys to come. But just to be on the safe side, I'd like to be the first to say: "Wait until next year!"
Also not leaving things to chance, we get the following idea from Bill:
==================
So we've got exactly the same situation on the Mets as the Rangers -- lost a bunch of people, starting over with the worst of the leftovers and a few new nobodies. Maybe Jerry Manuel and Tom Renney should swap jobs. Like those reality shows -- "Take My Coach, Please!" It certainly couldn't hurt.
==================
Personally, I have to say that suggestion has a lot to recommend it, and I think Coach Swap could really catch on and be the wave of the future. Of course you know how I always worry when things like this start to make perfect sense to me!
Many people complained about the weather around here over the last few months, and I was one of them, and with good reason, but that should all be behind us now, and I ought to know. It's true that we actually had some very nice days recently, with bright sunshine and temperatures in the 50s, in stark contrast to the snowstorms and frigid temperatures before that, and these balmier days were a welcome change for the better, but I for one would not put my faith in that. No, my certainty lies in the fact that we finally went out and bought a new snow shovel, so I not only expect that there will be no more snow this year, and maybe not even next year, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ushered in a new era of record high temperatures over the entire region for years to come. My apologies to the ski industry, and to the rest of you, you're welcome. However, I would like to point out that it was on February 9, when it was sunny but only about 40 degrees out and windy, that I first heard the unmistakable sounds of the ice cream truck wending its way through the neighborhood around the hospital, which I couldn't help but think was jumping the gun, and not by a little. In fact, I might describe it as premature, which brings us to another story.
In a previous note, I complained about the current trend in journalism to leave out all hyphens, whether they were just window-dressing, or actually needed for comprehension of the word being hyphenectomized. I impugned the use of such slapped together oddities as "reairs," "deicing" and "reignited." Bill was disappointed that I didn't mention his personal pet peeve, "doable," which like "reentry" or "reelected" or "reiterate" works better as a spoken word, but when written without a hyphen, becomes practically incomprehensible. I had the opposite problem with a note from a coworker, who identified an upcoming project as "pre-mature." Having the hyphen in there where I wasn't expecting it, threw a whole new light on the meaning behind the individual components of the word, which made it seem peculiar and unfamiliar. Looked at in a new way, it seems less like an idea whose time has not come, and more like a rambunctious youngster who has yet to grow up, unlike the rest of us who must then consider ourselves "post-mature." So I guess the lesson in here is that the power of hyphens can work both ways, by their absence making compound words more confusing, and by their addition making ordinary words seem refreshingly inventive, or perhaps co-incidental might be a better term.
Alert readers might be wondering, if the Super Bowl has come and gone, what about the annual congregational meeting at church, and well may they wonder indeed. It did take place as scheduled on the last Sunday in January, since unlike its more famous counterpart, it did not make the move and migrate into February instead. In contrast to other years, the meeting was conducted without incident, with no yelling and throwing things, which used to be one simple way to distinguish the annual meeting from any old ordinary meeting, especially in the chair tossing event, where they tended to make up in distance what they lacked in accuracy. So this was a return to the spirit of gentility and accommodation, which I'm sure was appreciated by all of the participants, except perhaps those of us who had been practicing our chair throwing in the off-season. However, the congregation did vote to divorce itself from the ELCA hierarchy, which has been its parent organization since its inception, so there may yet be fireworks in the offing, as the ramifications of that decision continue to, well, ramify, I guess. But I will say that if it comes down to a fight, I don't think the Bishop and his cronies would stand much of a chance against us, especially in the area of throwing chairs, where our congregation has a long history and lots of practice, not to mention, plenty of chairs.
While we're on the subject of furniture, our local newspaper recently included a special section about homes and housewares, and design trends that would be popular in the future. They mentioned the Color Marketing Group, which they describe as "an international nonprofit association of color design professionals [who] keep tabs on emerging color trends around the world and forecast color directions 19 months in advance for manufactured products and services." They go on to state that for 2009, shades of purple, white and yellow accents express America's hope. After singing the praises of these standout hues in this new palette of hopefulness, they actually say, in two different places, that "blue is becoming the new green." Now, far be it from me to cast aspersions on our friends at the Color Marketing Group, but there is no way around the fact that just doesn't make any sense, and in fact, sounds like a phony quote by some wag and inserted as a joke. They may as well say "the refrigerator is becoming the new dishwasher," because the whole idea is so laughably vapid and obtuse at the same time. You can try this yourself at home: "Wistful is becoming the new happy." "East is becoming the new South." "Sneakers are becoming the new slippers." It can just go on and on like that, from one skewed concept to another, and eventually, you too can be right up there with the brain trust at the Color Marketing Group, where they apparently churn out this sort of gobbledygook for real, and perhaps without even trying. They may not care for my critique of their pronouncements, but I'm not worried about a bunch of dingbats who think they can convince me that blue is the new green. If they want to come over here and start throwing chairs around, don't forget that I've been practicing.
Elle
Right now, I'm taking an extremely slow and steady approach to wishing you a very cautious Friday the 13th, which I hope will find you being careful and safe, and not involved in something that I'll be reading about in the newspapers later. It seems that the media is awash with reports of planes falling out of the sky, cars running over the unwary, and even buildings falling on people when they're not watching, so it's really true that you don't know exactly what might hit you next. (Or in the case of Groundhog Day, what might bite you next, and I can't say that I blame him.) Of course, we all know that whenever a month starts on a Sunday, there will be a Friday the 13th, and because this is not a Leap Year, and February only has 28 days, it's a certainty that March will also start on Sunday and have its own Friday the 13th to watch out for. Every year has to have at least one month that starts on a Sunday, but 2009 stands alone among its neighbors by having three, because we'll be seeing this same situation again in November. Meanwhile, both 2008 and 2010 only have one month like that each, so this would be a good time for those triskaidekaphobics out there to switch over to the Chinese lunar calendar for a year, and switch back to the Gregorian calendar next year, when things have settled back down, at least until August. In the meantime, we should all keep away from anything that rolls, flies, burrows or stands still, and since that covers pretty much everything, don't say that I didn't warn you.
Speaking of getting hit with things, of course tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and we can be sure that Cupid will be out there shooting his arrows at people far and wide, or perhaps near and narrow, but either way, he's bound to be out there giving it the old college try, just like always. Valentine's Day is always a welcome treat in the winter doldrums, and even more so when it doesn't fall in Lent, as it doesn't this year, so people can go ahead and enjoy all of those extravagant indulgences that they usually give up in the pre-Easter spirit of self-reflection and sacrifice. It may be too much to hope that this will make the world safe from grouchy Christians who have given up chocolate for Lent, but it's a step in the right direction. Also taking steps in the right direction, this weekend is the time for the three most beautiful words in the English language, Pitchers And Catchers, giving us all a reason to keep on living, in spite of it all. When local sports fans have seen their hopes dashed in football, basketball and hockey, the prospect of Spring Training offers us new hope for redemption and joys to come. But just to be on the safe side, I'd like to be the first to say: "Wait until next year!"
Also not leaving things to chance, we get the following idea from Bill:
==================
So we've got exactly the same situation on the Mets as the Rangers -- lost a bunch of people, starting over with the worst of the leftovers and a few new nobodies. Maybe Jerry Manuel and Tom Renney should swap jobs. Like those reality shows -- "Take My Coach, Please!" It certainly couldn't hurt.
==================
Personally, I have to say that suggestion has a lot to recommend it, and I think Coach Swap could really catch on and be the wave of the future. Of course you know how I always worry when things like this start to make perfect sense to me!
Many people complained about the weather around here over the last few months, and I was one of them, and with good reason, but that should all be behind us now, and I ought to know. It's true that we actually had some very nice days recently, with bright sunshine and temperatures in the 50s, in stark contrast to the snowstorms and frigid temperatures before that, and these balmier days were a welcome change for the better, but I for one would not put my faith in that. No, my certainty lies in the fact that we finally went out and bought a new snow shovel, so I not only expect that there will be no more snow this year, and maybe not even next year, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ushered in a new era of record high temperatures over the entire region for years to come. My apologies to the ski industry, and to the rest of you, you're welcome. However, I would like to point out that it was on February 9, when it was sunny but only about 40 degrees out and windy, that I first heard the unmistakable sounds of the ice cream truck wending its way through the neighborhood around the hospital, which I couldn't help but think was jumping the gun, and not by a little. In fact, I might describe it as premature, which brings us to another story.
In a previous note, I complained about the current trend in journalism to leave out all hyphens, whether they were just window-dressing, or actually needed for comprehension of the word being hyphenectomized. I impugned the use of such slapped together oddities as "reairs," "deicing" and "reignited." Bill was disappointed that I didn't mention his personal pet peeve, "doable," which like "reentry" or "reelected" or "reiterate" works better as a spoken word, but when written without a hyphen, becomes practically incomprehensible. I had the opposite problem with a note from a coworker, who identified an upcoming project as "pre-mature." Having the hyphen in there where I wasn't expecting it, threw a whole new light on the meaning behind the individual components of the word, which made it seem peculiar and unfamiliar. Looked at in a new way, it seems less like an idea whose time has not come, and more like a rambunctious youngster who has yet to grow up, unlike the rest of us who must then consider ourselves "post-mature." So I guess the lesson in here is that the power of hyphens can work both ways, by their absence making compound words more confusing, and by their addition making ordinary words seem refreshingly inventive, or perhaps co-incidental might be a better term.
Alert readers might be wondering, if the Super Bowl has come and gone, what about the annual congregational meeting at church, and well may they wonder indeed. It did take place as scheduled on the last Sunday in January, since unlike its more famous counterpart, it did not make the move and migrate into February instead. In contrast to other years, the meeting was conducted without incident, with no yelling and throwing things, which used to be one simple way to distinguish the annual meeting from any old ordinary meeting, especially in the chair tossing event, where they tended to make up in distance what they lacked in accuracy. So this was a return to the spirit of gentility and accommodation, which I'm sure was appreciated by all of the participants, except perhaps those of us who had been practicing our chair throwing in the off-season. However, the congregation did vote to divorce itself from the ELCA hierarchy, which has been its parent organization since its inception, so there may yet be fireworks in the offing, as the ramifications of that decision continue to, well, ramify, I guess. But I will say that if it comes down to a fight, I don't think the Bishop and his cronies would stand much of a chance against us, especially in the area of throwing chairs, where our congregation has a long history and lots of practice, not to mention, plenty of chairs.
While we're on the subject of furniture, our local newspaper recently included a special section about homes and housewares, and design trends that would be popular in the future. They mentioned the Color Marketing Group, which they describe as "an international nonprofit association of color design professionals [who] keep tabs on emerging color trends around the world and forecast color directions 19 months in advance for manufactured products and services." They go on to state that for 2009, shades of purple, white and yellow accents express America's hope. After singing the praises of these standout hues in this new palette of hopefulness, they actually say, in two different places, that "blue is becoming the new green." Now, far be it from me to cast aspersions on our friends at the Color Marketing Group, but there is no way around the fact that just doesn't make any sense, and in fact, sounds like a phony quote by some wag and inserted as a joke. They may as well say "the refrigerator is becoming the new dishwasher," because the whole idea is so laughably vapid and obtuse at the same time. You can try this yourself at home: "Wistful is becoming the new happy." "East is becoming the new South." "Sneakers are becoming the new slippers." It can just go on and on like that, from one skewed concept to another, and eventually, you too can be right up there with the brain trust at the Color Marketing Group, where they apparently churn out this sort of gobbledygook for real, and perhaps without even trying. They may not care for my critique of their pronouncements, but I'm not worried about a bunch of dingbats who think they can convince me that blue is the new green. If they want to come over here and start throwing chairs around, don't forget that I've been practicing.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 8:14 PM
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