Ring Leader
Hello World,
Happy (almost) Valentine's Day! As the happy occasion dawns on Monday, I wish you copious amounts of sweet treats, romance, and lace-trimmed apparel to make the holiday a very special one for you in the annals of Cupid's handiwork. As for myself, I'll take mine in chocolate, and plenty of it, and thanks ever so. I can't say that the cats are much to be counted on for events like this, as their taste runs more along the lines of bat-a-birds and catnip mice, but fortunately Bill makes up for their shortcomings, and then some, so no worries on that score. After all, I already have enough bat-a-birds and catnip mice to last me a lifetime, believe me.
Speaking of lifetimes, it seems a very long time ago that there was anything worth watching on television, and we find ourselves in that dreaded time of year between the end of football and the beginning of baseball, when we have to make do with basketball and hockey, or give up on televised sports altogether for the duration. Not even the Pro Bowl in front of us, since they moved it to before the Super Bowl for some inexplicable reason, and thanks so much not. There isn't even arena football or winter baseball to fall back on, like there used to be, which although seriously unlike the real thing, were still entertaining on their own merits. It's hard to believe that cable sports networks will take time up in their schedules to show high school field hockey, and yet nobody could keep arena football up and running, to give us something to look forward to over the winter. In any event, I suppose the good news is that Pitchers and Catchers will be reporting to their respective spring training camps in the South next week, and after the kind of winter that we've been through in this area, if those aren't the most beautiful words in the English language, well then, I just don't know what it would be. There's nothing like the return of the Boys of Summer to give us all a reason to hope in better days ahead.
Of course, the big sports news was the Green Bay Packers winning the Super Bowl last Sunday, and bringing home the aptly named Vince Lombardi Trophy back to where the home-town fans naturally feel that it belongs. It was quite a game, close enough to be interesting, and with the odd turnover here and there to keep it from being dull or predictable, as these big games so often are. Then there are always the infamous Super Bowl commercials, which are alternately hilarious, controversial, adorable or offensive, and sometimes, all at once. In fact, something else that fits all of those categories happened last week, I think on Saturday, when they announced the MVP for the NFL 2010 season, although why they would pick a time like that for this particular announcement is a mystery to me, I'm sure. It turned out the overwhelming favorite was Tom Brady of the New England Patriots, so apparently the outcome was no surprise. Now, please remind me again, where exactly were they on Sunday? Oh yes, that's right, they were at home watching the Super Bowl on TV, having been eliminated from the playoffs by the JETS in January, and to Mr. MVP, no thanks so very much, and plenty of it. This is my idea of a bad call, and I don't mind saying that I am unanimous in that. Or in the immortal words of Branch Rickey, "we could have done that without you, Ralph."
And while we're on the subject of things that make no sense, I would like to inform everyone that we have turned a corner in our lack of telephone service at home, and in fact, I invite everyone to give us a ring and get it right from the horse's mouth, as it were. It was obviously beyond their abilities at Verizon to actually repair the telephone service, so instead, they inserted a recorded message on our line, with what sounds suspiciously like a semi-literate goon who announces: "Da numba you have cawd is terminally outta service. Please try again." I can promise you that it is extremely entertaining, as recorded messages go, and well worth the cost of the call. I'd be less than candid if I didn't say that we both would have preferred having the phone service fixed, especially after this has been going on almost three months at this point, but I have to admit that this quixotic message is a close second as a consolation prize, and has proved to be extremely popular among people we know who have tried to reach us recently. As hope springs eternal in the human breast, we have not given up on the idea that Verizon is still trying diligently to repair our telephone service, and what the goon - excuse me, I mean the recorded announcement - is actually trying to express is that the number is only "temporarily" out of service, and not "terminally," which is what it sounds like. At least that's our hope, and although this has been the winter of our discontent in the field of telecommunications, we are looking forward to it turning into the glorious spring of our jubilant contentment, as we return from the land of the incommunicado, and leap once again into the sunshine of ringing bells and answering machines, like the rest of the civilized world. After all this time, I can tell you that I will never be so happy to hear people trying to sell me aluminum siding or chimney cleaning again in my whole life, and if anyone wants to sell me insurance or shampoo my carpets, I would probably remember them in my will at this point. What the heck, I've got to leave all those bat-a-birds and catnip mice to somebody.
Elle
Happy (almost) Valentine's Day! As the happy occasion dawns on Monday, I wish you copious amounts of sweet treats, romance, and lace-trimmed apparel to make the holiday a very special one for you in the annals of Cupid's handiwork. As for myself, I'll take mine in chocolate, and plenty of it, and thanks ever so. I can't say that the cats are much to be counted on for events like this, as their taste runs more along the lines of bat-a-birds and catnip mice, but fortunately Bill makes up for their shortcomings, and then some, so no worries on that score. After all, I already have enough bat-a-birds and catnip mice to last me a lifetime, believe me.
Speaking of lifetimes, it seems a very long time ago that there was anything worth watching on television, and we find ourselves in that dreaded time of year between the end of football and the beginning of baseball, when we have to make do with basketball and hockey, or give up on televised sports altogether for the duration. Not even the Pro Bowl in front of us, since they moved it to before the Super Bowl for some inexplicable reason, and thanks so much not. There isn't even arena football or winter baseball to fall back on, like there used to be, which although seriously unlike the real thing, were still entertaining on their own merits. It's hard to believe that cable sports networks will take time up in their schedules to show high school field hockey, and yet nobody could keep arena football up and running, to give us something to look forward to over the winter. In any event, I suppose the good news is that Pitchers and Catchers will be reporting to their respective spring training camps in the South next week, and after the kind of winter that we've been through in this area, if those aren't the most beautiful words in the English language, well then, I just don't know what it would be. There's nothing like the return of the Boys of Summer to give us all a reason to hope in better days ahead.
Of course, the big sports news was the Green Bay Packers winning the Super Bowl last Sunday, and bringing home the aptly named Vince Lombardi Trophy back to where the home-town fans naturally feel that it belongs. It was quite a game, close enough to be interesting, and with the odd turnover here and there to keep it from being dull or predictable, as these big games so often are. Then there are always the infamous Super Bowl commercials, which are alternately hilarious, controversial, adorable or offensive, and sometimes, all at once. In fact, something else that fits all of those categories happened last week, I think on Saturday, when they announced the MVP for the NFL 2010 season, although why they would pick a time like that for this particular announcement is a mystery to me, I'm sure. It turned out the overwhelming favorite was Tom Brady of the New England Patriots, so apparently the outcome was no surprise. Now, please remind me again, where exactly were they on Sunday? Oh yes, that's right, they were at home watching the Super Bowl on TV, having been eliminated from the playoffs by the JETS in January, and to Mr. MVP, no thanks so very much, and plenty of it. This is my idea of a bad call, and I don't mind saying that I am unanimous in that. Or in the immortal words of Branch Rickey, "we could have done that without you, Ralph."
And while we're on the subject of things that make no sense, I would like to inform everyone that we have turned a corner in our lack of telephone service at home, and in fact, I invite everyone to give us a ring and get it right from the horse's mouth, as it were. It was obviously beyond their abilities at Verizon to actually repair the telephone service, so instead, they inserted a recorded message on our line, with what sounds suspiciously like a semi-literate goon who announces: "Da numba you have cawd is terminally outta service. Please try again." I can promise you that it is extremely entertaining, as recorded messages go, and well worth the cost of the call. I'd be less than candid if I didn't say that we both would have preferred having the phone service fixed, especially after this has been going on almost three months at this point, but I have to admit that this quixotic message is a close second as a consolation prize, and has proved to be extremely popular among people we know who have tried to reach us recently. As hope springs eternal in the human breast, we have not given up on the idea that Verizon is still trying diligently to repair our telephone service, and what the goon - excuse me, I mean the recorded announcement - is actually trying to express is that the number is only "temporarily" out of service, and not "terminally," which is what it sounds like. At least that's our hope, and although this has been the winter of our discontent in the field of telecommunications, we are looking forward to it turning into the glorious spring of our jubilant contentment, as we return from the land of the incommunicado, and leap once again into the sunshine of ringing bells and answering machines, like the rest of the civilized world. After all this time, I can tell you that I will never be so happy to hear people trying to sell me aluminum siding or chimney cleaning again in my whole life, and if anyone wants to sell me insurance or shampoo my carpets, I would probably remember them in my will at this point. What the heck, I've got to leave all those bat-a-birds and catnip mice to somebody.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 6:40 PM
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