Sick And Tired

Greetings, One and All! Unfortunately, Bill and I came back from our celebration weekend at Foxwoods and immediately fell victim to the same galloping cruds that have already befallen everyone else in the region, and I can tell you that it was not a pretty sight, not by any means. In fact, it's at times like this that I can't help but wonder, if they can put a man on the moon, why can't they just go ahead and put all the politicians there? No, wait a minute, that can't be right somehow. I think what I mean is, in this day and age with every technological miracle at our very fingertips, why in the name of Hippocrates can't they do anything about the so-called common cold, and spare all of us this unwelcome opportunity to build character through suffering along with the rest of humanity? I think perhaps the great Ogden Nash said it best, and we have our friends at www.poemhunter.com to thank for sharing his unflinching insights with us today. ====================================== Common Cold Go hang yourself, you old M.D.! You shall not sneer at me. Pick up your hat and stethoscope, Go wash your mouth with laundry soap; I contemplate a joy exquisite I'm not paying you for your visit. I did not call you to be told My malady is a common cold. By pounding brow and swollen lip; By fever's hot and scaly grip; By those two red redundant eyes That weep like woeful April skies; By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff; By handkerchief after handkerchief; This cold you wave away as naught Is the damnedest cold man ever caught! Give ear, you scientific fossil! Here is the genuine Cold Colossal; The Cold of which researchers dream, The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme. This honored system humbly holds The Super-cold to end all colds; The Cold Crusading for Democracy; The Führer of the Streptococcracy. Bacilli swarm within my portals Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals, But bred by scientists wise and hoary In some Olympic laboratory; Bacteria as large as mice, With feet of fire and heads of ice Who never interrupt for slumber Their stamping elephantine rumba. A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth! Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth; Don Juan was a budding gallant, And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent; The Arctic winter is fairly coolish, And your diagnosis is fairly foolish. Oh what a derision history holds For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds! ~~ Ogden Nash With thanks to www.poemhunter.com