Paint The Town Red
Hello World,
Oh, for those halcyon days of yore, when today would be Armistice Day (and people would know what that meant) and the bunting would be flying from the porch railings, not to mention the bandstand in the square, where the Aldermen would be giving speeches. Nowadays, Veterans Day is only recognized by the businesses who have put up signs saying, "We're Open All Day on Friday" lest anyone mistake this for a REAL holiday. But where Bill works is closed, and I took the day off as well, so we observed what we consider our own little personal holiday today.
When we went to CVS after dinner, they were playing Christmas carols, which I find is pushing it a bit. It's still 53 days to Christmas, and that's in real time, not Daylight Saving Time, and if they're going to start playing Christmas carols now, by about December 15th, we'll all be sick and tired of them already. I've gotten used to the idea that you can see Christmas merchandise in the stores starting in September, and the Christmas catalogues start coming in August, but I think they should wait on playing carols in the stores until closer to Thanksgiving at least.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, you may be familiar with Paula Deen from The Food Network, where she has her own cooking show. I noticed in the TV Section of our newspaper that she's also hosting "Paula's Southern Thanksgiving," and they were kind enough to list her menu items, which included bacon-wrapped breadsticks, oyster dressing, deep-fried turkey, mini-cheeseburger puffs, fried creamed corn, sweet potato balls, apple-butter pumpkin pie and cranberry cider. My favorite part was when Paula Deen said, "Thanksgiving is a very traditional meal." You know, I don't care if you want to serve stuff like that for Thanksgiving, and you can go right ahead with my blessing. But don't try to tell me it's traditional, of all things. Mini-cheeseburger puffs, indeed.
Everyone knows that I'm no fan of game shows, and I just don't find them interesting or entertaining. I don't like to pick on people they have competing on game shows, because I know for a fact that if someone came running up to me on the street with a microphone and asked me a question, I could not for the life of me tell you what MY name is, much less who is the President of the United States or anything else. If I was on a game show, and they said, "You have five seconds to tell us your favorite color," I not only would never be able to come up with any color at all, much less my favorite, but I would most likely say something like, "Hawaii." But I already know this about me, and that's one of the reasons why I wouldn't sign up to appear on a game show in the first place. I'm continually amazed at the people who go on Family Feud, and when they ask them to name an animal with a very long tail, they say, "Elephant" which probably has everything long about it EXCEPT its tail, and when you can't believe that anyone in the world could come up with an answer that incredibly stupid, the next person then says, "Giraffe." It just makes you wonder. I was reminded of that yesterday, when a vendor called and asked me to send them a tax exempt certificate for the hospital. I said to her, “I need to put your address on the form” so she gave me the street address, and then asked me to put our account number on it as well. I wasn't finished with the address yet, so I asked her what city they were in. Honest to God, she said, “Arizona.” Thanks for playing our game!
Meanwhile, Bill loves this junk mail that he got recently --
===================================
insignificant Absolutely exciting! Cleverest deals on top cures, eucalyptus
Hmm. Insignificant but exciting; deals on cures AND eucalyptus! What more could a bored Koala suffering from low self-esteem want?
===================================
Well, that's got to make you wonder and then some. Speaking of things that make you wonder, I didn't mention in my Halloween recap that I had overheard people say that the Pope costume was one of the most popular ones this year, because of the new Pope. I was very surprised, because I never heard a word about it before, and I just came up with the idea for myself out of the blue. One person who came to my department on Halloween said I looked lovely, and guessed that I was some sort of fairy. When I said I wasn't a fairy, she went back to her department and told everyone that I was a princess. (They were certainly surprised when they saw me later!) A young man that I bumped into in the hallway during lunch greeted me by saying, "Hey, Sister!" I can tell you, that really made me wonder what kind of church HE goes to! I said to people later that I should just retire now, because after you've already been the Pope, there's no place to go but down from here.
Last weekend we went to the Fortunoff's store in White Plains with some friends to see their Christmas displays, and it was worth the trip. We've been there before, and found this year's display somewhat smaller than previously, but they had a number of animated villages set up with train layouts, and they are always a special treat that we enjoy. There wasn't as much to see as before, but what they have is always interesting and often unique to Fortunoff's. It wasn't crowded when we first got there, and I suppose that the staff waiting for youngsters to show up and have their pictures taken with Santa probably had some time on their hands, so I guess that's about the best explanation I have for why all six of us got talked into having our picture taken with Santa and Frosty the Snowman. It actually came out great, so we were glad we did. They have a fellow with a digital camera, and after he takes the picture, he prints it out on a special little printer on photo paper, and then inserts it in a special keepsake card, and all at no charge. It was very nice, although the way they print them, it does turn into a rather time-consuming and labor-intensive process, and if it had been more crowded, it would have taken all day to get your pictures back. But they made us three sets of picture cards, one for each couple, which I thought was very nice. After that, we hopped over to the adjacent Westchester Mall to browse around, and we enjoyed their seasonal decorations as well. We decided to have dinner at the City Limits diner which is handily located right in the mall, and where we've eaten before, but this time we found the food unappetizing and over-priced, and the service was surly. In retrospect, I probably should have worn my Pope costume.
Earlier in the year, we discovered that one of our friends, who up until that point appeared entirely normal, but is now apparently suffering from an advanced case of Mid-Life Crisis, not only decided out of the blue to get a tattoo, but went ahead and did it. I'm thinking that a 55-year-old suburban housewife who decides to get a tattoo, will most likely get a small rose on her ankle, or perhaps a butterfly on her shoulder. That turned out to be very much not the case, as she got a large and ornately embellished design on her lower back instead. At that time, we all had a chance to see it and say how nice it was, which we did, even though it wasn't, because of course we're too polite not to. Anyway, it was Bill who came up with the idea that when we saw them again, we should all be wearing a temporary tattoo in the same design, which we did, and we all had a lot of fun with that. He also made us earrings with the same design, and that went over very big as well. I found the temporary tattoos worked real well, as they went on easily, stayed on firmly, and then washed off with no trouble. Anyone could see that this was certainly giving me costume ideas for next year, so watch out.
The people next-door, who are actually alien pods from another planet, decided to spruce up around the joint, and the painters must have been there for 8 weeks, crawling all over the place. I have never in my life heard painters make so much noise, which you wouldn't think would be that noisy of a project to start with, but somehow they managed to get on our nerves day and night. Day after day after day, it would be the sanders, and the darned aluminum extension ladders, and the trucks back and forth, and the nail guns and the buzz saws, and on and on and on, even on the weekends. We were about ready to tear our hair out, and I don't mind saying, we don't have enough left as it is. (Although in spite of everything, these people were still a lot better than the crew hired by the neighbors on the other side, who were using a torch to burn the old paint off, and instead set fire to the house and caused $20,000 worth of damage, no thank you very much!) Anyway, we thought we would never see the tail-end of them, and looked forward to the time when we could bid them good riddance. Not so fast! Apparently the lady across the street developed a bad case of "painters envy" and the next thing I knew, her yard was crawling with men in dirty coveralls and noisy extension ladders. I may as well say this right now: I'm giving them exactly one week, and then I'm going to march right over there in my Pope costume and excommunicate the whole passel of them.
Oh, for those halcyon days of yore, when today would be Armistice Day (and people would know what that meant) and the bunting would be flying from the porch railings, not to mention the bandstand in the square, where the Aldermen would be giving speeches. Nowadays, Veterans Day is only recognized by the businesses who have put up signs saying, "We're Open All Day on Friday" lest anyone mistake this for a REAL holiday. But where Bill works is closed, and I took the day off as well, so we observed what we consider our own little personal holiday today.
When we went to CVS after dinner, they were playing Christmas carols, which I find is pushing it a bit. It's still 53 days to Christmas, and that's in real time, not Daylight Saving Time, and if they're going to start playing Christmas carols now, by about December 15th, we'll all be sick and tired of them already. I've gotten used to the idea that you can see Christmas merchandise in the stores starting in September, and the Christmas catalogues start coming in August, but I think they should wait on playing carols in the stores until closer to Thanksgiving at least.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, you may be familiar with Paula Deen from The Food Network, where she has her own cooking show. I noticed in the TV Section of our newspaper that she's also hosting "Paula's Southern Thanksgiving," and they were kind enough to list her menu items, which included bacon-wrapped breadsticks, oyster dressing, deep-fried turkey, mini-cheeseburger puffs, fried creamed corn, sweet potato balls, apple-butter pumpkin pie and cranberry cider. My favorite part was when Paula Deen said, "Thanksgiving is a very traditional meal." You know, I don't care if you want to serve stuff like that for Thanksgiving, and you can go right ahead with my blessing. But don't try to tell me it's traditional, of all things. Mini-cheeseburger puffs, indeed.
Everyone knows that I'm no fan of game shows, and I just don't find them interesting or entertaining. I don't like to pick on people they have competing on game shows, because I know for a fact that if someone came running up to me on the street with a microphone and asked me a question, I could not for the life of me tell you what MY name is, much less who is the President of the United States or anything else. If I was on a game show, and they said, "You have five seconds to tell us your favorite color," I not only would never be able to come up with any color at all, much less my favorite, but I would most likely say something like, "Hawaii." But I already know this about me, and that's one of the reasons why I wouldn't sign up to appear on a game show in the first place. I'm continually amazed at the people who go on Family Feud, and when they ask them to name an animal with a very long tail, they say, "Elephant" which probably has everything long about it EXCEPT its tail, and when you can't believe that anyone in the world could come up with an answer that incredibly stupid, the next person then says, "Giraffe." It just makes you wonder. I was reminded of that yesterday, when a vendor called and asked me to send them a tax exempt certificate for the hospital. I said to her, “I need to put your address on the form” so she gave me the street address, and then asked me to put our account number on it as well. I wasn't finished with the address yet, so I asked her what city they were in. Honest to God, she said, “Arizona.” Thanks for playing our game!
Meanwhile, Bill loves this junk mail that he got recently --
===================================
insignificant Absolutely exciting! Cleverest deals on top cures, eucalyptus
Hmm. Insignificant but exciting; deals on cures AND eucalyptus! What more could a bored Koala suffering from low self-esteem want?
===================================
Well, that's got to make you wonder and then some. Speaking of things that make you wonder, I didn't mention in my Halloween recap that I had overheard people say that the Pope costume was one of the most popular ones this year, because of the new Pope. I was very surprised, because I never heard a word about it before, and I just came up with the idea for myself out of the blue. One person who came to my department on Halloween said I looked lovely, and guessed that I was some sort of fairy. When I said I wasn't a fairy, she went back to her department and told everyone that I was a princess. (They were certainly surprised when they saw me later!) A young man that I bumped into in the hallway during lunch greeted me by saying, "Hey, Sister!" I can tell you, that really made me wonder what kind of church HE goes to! I said to people later that I should just retire now, because after you've already been the Pope, there's no place to go but down from here.
Last weekend we went to the Fortunoff's store in White Plains with some friends to see their Christmas displays, and it was worth the trip. We've been there before, and found this year's display somewhat smaller than previously, but they had a number of animated villages set up with train layouts, and they are always a special treat that we enjoy. There wasn't as much to see as before, but what they have is always interesting and often unique to Fortunoff's. It wasn't crowded when we first got there, and I suppose that the staff waiting for youngsters to show up and have their pictures taken with Santa probably had some time on their hands, so I guess that's about the best explanation I have for why all six of us got talked into having our picture taken with Santa and Frosty the Snowman. It actually came out great, so we were glad we did. They have a fellow with a digital camera, and after he takes the picture, he prints it out on a special little printer on photo paper, and then inserts it in a special keepsake card, and all at no charge. It was very nice, although the way they print them, it does turn into a rather time-consuming and labor-intensive process, and if it had been more crowded, it would have taken all day to get your pictures back. But they made us three sets of picture cards, one for each couple, which I thought was very nice. After that, we hopped over to the adjacent Westchester Mall to browse around, and we enjoyed their seasonal decorations as well. We decided to have dinner at the City Limits diner which is handily located right in the mall, and where we've eaten before, but this time we found the food unappetizing and over-priced, and the service was surly. In retrospect, I probably should have worn my Pope costume.
Earlier in the year, we discovered that one of our friends, who up until that point appeared entirely normal, but is now apparently suffering from an advanced case of Mid-Life Crisis, not only decided out of the blue to get a tattoo, but went ahead and did it. I'm thinking that a 55-year-old suburban housewife who decides to get a tattoo, will most likely get a small rose on her ankle, or perhaps a butterfly on her shoulder. That turned out to be very much not the case, as she got a large and ornately embellished design on her lower back instead. At that time, we all had a chance to see it and say how nice it was, which we did, even though it wasn't, because of course we're too polite not to. Anyway, it was Bill who came up with the idea that when we saw them again, we should all be wearing a temporary tattoo in the same design, which we did, and we all had a lot of fun with that. He also made us earrings with the same design, and that went over very big as well. I found the temporary tattoos worked real well, as they went on easily, stayed on firmly, and then washed off with no trouble. Anyone could see that this was certainly giving me costume ideas for next year, so watch out.
The people next-door, who are actually alien pods from another planet, decided to spruce up around the joint, and the painters must have been there for 8 weeks, crawling all over the place. I have never in my life heard painters make so much noise, which you wouldn't think would be that noisy of a project to start with, but somehow they managed to get on our nerves day and night. Day after day after day, it would be the sanders, and the darned aluminum extension ladders, and the trucks back and forth, and the nail guns and the buzz saws, and on and on and on, even on the weekends. We were about ready to tear our hair out, and I don't mind saying, we don't have enough left as it is. (Although in spite of everything, these people were still a lot better than the crew hired by the neighbors on the other side, who were using a torch to burn the old paint off, and instead set fire to the house and caused $20,000 worth of damage, no thank you very much!) Anyway, we thought we would never see the tail-end of them, and looked forward to the time when we could bid them good riddance. Not so fast! Apparently the lady across the street developed a bad case of "painters envy" and the next thing I knew, her yard was crawling with men in dirty coveralls and noisy extension ladders. I may as well say this right now: I'm giving them exactly one week, and then I'm going to march right over there in my Pope costume and excommunicate the whole passel of them.
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 7:18 PM
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