Too Plastic For Me
Hello World,
Happy September! Who would have believed that we would be standing here right now and it's practically the middle of September already. Boy, the Romans really weren't kidding when they said, "Tempus Fugit" which means, "Don't look back, they might be gaining on you!" Actually, I think it was Satchel Paige who said that, but whoever it was, they weren't just whistling Dixie and that's no jive. Next thing you know, we'll look up and it will be Advent already, and then where will we be? The mind reels.
Of course, as we all know, things can always be worse. I was logging in purchase orders at work this week, and came across a repair/exchange of a shaver handpiece from our friends in the Operating Room, and owing to a little bit of over-enthusiasm on the part of whoever typed it, the whole transaction came in at the staggering sum of $243,807.00. That would be some repair, even by our standards! Another purchase order was for some rental equipment needed by our colleagues in the G.I. Suite, and the clerk (you remember Helga!) typed this note in the comments section: "Selector rental with bisbsables." Indeed. I'm afraid that doesn't even get me in the ballpark, as far as what that might be, and I have a sneaking suspicion that what she really meant was "disposables," although the two of them are about as far apart as you can get and still be in the same alphabet. Not to be outdone, we received an invoice from a company that provides specialty mattresses and beds for our wound-care patients, and found we were being charged rental for two "beriatric" beds. I realize that the field of Bariatrics might be unfamiliar to many people unconnected with health care, but on the other hand, this is the company that we rent these bariatric beds from, and they even spelled it wrong on their invoice! Alas, to say there are no standards any more would be a major understatement of epic proportions.
Speaking of work, we get the following story from Bill about a recent close encounter of the wildlife kind –
========================================
The other morning I had a stupid insect myself but it was a moth. It was in the window, after I came inside, having just emptied the cat box/recycling bin. As I turned around to get a jar or something to catch him, he flew into the bin and settled down on the bottom of it. So I picked it up and walked to the door. I got into the vestibule and opened the outside door and just at that very second he decided to fly out of the box. He landed on my shoulder, so then it was time for me to put ME outside. As I walked through the door, he flew off and landed on the inside door behind me. So I opened the door to go inside and get something to catch him with and he flew into the door jamb. So I had to prop the door open with the box and get a knife to poke him out. By the time I got back to the door with the pencil from the shopping list (instead of a knife), he was rested again so he flew into my face, past a swatting Puffin -- who had gotten into the window to make a game out of this -- and then, turning hard left. into the butler's pantry. He disappeared somewhere along the ceiling in the library and I must admit I almost wished him ill at that point. Honestly! (as you would say.)================================
I said to Bill that it continues to amaze me that these idiot bugs haven't just died out of rampant stupidity millions of years ago. In fact, imagine the even stupider insects that DID die off from stupidity millions of years ago, if these are the ones that are still left!
In other news, as hard as this will be to believe, we actually went back to the movies last week and saw "Sky High" with Kurt Russell and we really enjoyed it. It's very cute, without being stupid, and the story is interesting, engaging and laugh-out-loud funny in spots. I expected I would like it, because when we saw the trailers for it, it seemed like it would be right up my alley, although I was concerned that it might be too silly even for me. But we were pleasantly surprised and liked everyone in it (how can you not like Lynda Carter!) and were glad we hurried up and saw it while it was still in the theaters. It won't be long now until it's out on DVD and I can highly recommend it.
Our trip to the movies would have been even more wonderful, if only the concession stand had come through with our meal choices while we were there. Instead of having popcorn as we usually do, we decided to take a chance on their selection of Gourmet Pretzels, and split them between us, so that we could each try the different flavors. Bill had one of their regular salted ones previously and thought it was not bad. The menu board didn't list the flavors that these gourmet treats are available in, but Bill pointed out that they had a display case of them farther along on the concession stand, and I could go see for myself. Sure enough, there were all of these gourmet-looking pretzels hanging up in neat rows in the case, and we could enjoy them in salted, extreme garlic and parmesan, or cinnamon. Armed with this information, we approached the cashier and told her what we wanted, only to be told that they had no pretzels. Bill pointed out with unassailable logic that they were in the display case farther down on the concession stand. "Those are plastic," she replied calmly. I will say that of everything she might have told us in that situation, this was certainly not one that we were expecting, and it really took the wind right out of our sails, gastronomically speaking. Bill ended up having popcorn after all, and I had the nachos, but it just wasn't the same. Although, I would have to believe that it was a whole lot better than plastic pretzels, no matter how gourmet they might consider themselves.
While we were at the movies, we saw trailers for new movies coming out, and I don't mind saying that I will never understand where they come up with the idea that we need to see even more remakes of King Kong and Oliver Twist. Another upcoming movie is a sort of 1970's throwback to roller disco, if you can believe that, and it looks fairly interesting, with the usual characters and plot elements you find in underdog stories like "The Mighty Ducks" or "The Bad News Bears" and that ilk. It seems full of nostalgic and peppy disco music, flashy costumes and plenty of pratfalls and sight gags. I was just thinking that they may have hit on a winning combination here, when the slide came up with the title of this retro masterpiece, which turned out to have the unlikely name of "Roll Bounce." ROLL BOUNCE???!!! What the blazes kind of a stupid name is Roll Bounce? That doesn't even make any sense, and heck, how much sense does it have to make for a roller disco movie in the first place. I said to Bill, "Why didn't they just call it, ‘Don't Go See This Movie' because that's what a film with that title would make me want to do, I'd avoid it at all costs. I'm surprised they're not calling the new Oliver Twist movie, "Twist Dodge" instead. Honestly, you just don't know what gets into these people. Between their terrible titles and plastic pretzels, it's becoming obvious that going to the movies is not for the faint-hearted or slow-witted, so watch your step out there. And remember not to look back, in case Satchel Paige (or the Romans) are gaining on you!
Happy September! Who would have believed that we would be standing here right now and it's practically the middle of September already. Boy, the Romans really weren't kidding when they said, "Tempus Fugit" which means, "Don't look back, they might be gaining on you!" Actually, I think it was Satchel Paige who said that, but whoever it was, they weren't just whistling Dixie and that's no jive. Next thing you know, we'll look up and it will be Advent already, and then where will we be? The mind reels.
Of course, as we all know, things can always be worse. I was logging in purchase orders at work this week, and came across a repair/exchange of a shaver handpiece from our friends in the Operating Room, and owing to a little bit of over-enthusiasm on the part of whoever typed it, the whole transaction came in at the staggering sum of $243,807.00. That would be some repair, even by our standards! Another purchase order was for some rental equipment needed by our colleagues in the G.I. Suite, and the clerk (you remember Helga!) typed this note in the comments section: "Selector rental with bisbsables." Indeed. I'm afraid that doesn't even get me in the ballpark, as far as what that might be, and I have a sneaking suspicion that what she really meant was "disposables," although the two of them are about as far apart as you can get and still be in the same alphabet. Not to be outdone, we received an invoice from a company that provides specialty mattresses and beds for our wound-care patients, and found we were being charged rental for two "beriatric" beds. I realize that the field of Bariatrics might be unfamiliar to many people unconnected with health care, but on the other hand, this is the company that we rent these bariatric beds from, and they even spelled it wrong on their invoice! Alas, to say there are no standards any more would be a major understatement of epic proportions.
Speaking of work, we get the following story from Bill about a recent close encounter of the wildlife kind –
========================================
The other morning I had a stupid insect myself but it was a moth. It was in the window, after I came inside, having just emptied the cat box/recycling bin. As I turned around to get a jar or something to catch him, he flew into the bin and settled down on the bottom of it. So I picked it up and walked to the door. I got into the vestibule and opened the outside door and just at that very second he decided to fly out of the box. He landed on my shoulder, so then it was time for me to put ME outside. As I walked through the door, he flew off and landed on the inside door behind me. So I opened the door to go inside and get something to catch him with and he flew into the door jamb. So I had to prop the door open with the box and get a knife to poke him out. By the time I got back to the door with the pencil from the shopping list (instead of a knife), he was rested again so he flew into my face, past a swatting Puffin -- who had gotten into the window to make a game out of this -- and then, turning hard left. into the butler's pantry. He disappeared somewhere along the ceiling in the library and I must admit I almost wished him ill at that point. Honestly! (as you would say.)================================
I said to Bill that it continues to amaze me that these idiot bugs haven't just died out of rampant stupidity millions of years ago. In fact, imagine the even stupider insects that DID die off from stupidity millions of years ago, if these are the ones that are still left!
In other news, as hard as this will be to believe, we actually went back to the movies last week and saw "Sky High" with Kurt Russell and we really enjoyed it. It's very cute, without being stupid, and the story is interesting, engaging and laugh-out-loud funny in spots. I expected I would like it, because when we saw the trailers for it, it seemed like it would be right up my alley, although I was concerned that it might be too silly even for me. But we were pleasantly surprised and liked everyone in it (how can you not like Lynda Carter!) and were glad we hurried up and saw it while it was still in the theaters. It won't be long now until it's out on DVD and I can highly recommend it.
Our trip to the movies would have been even more wonderful, if only the concession stand had come through with our meal choices while we were there. Instead of having popcorn as we usually do, we decided to take a chance on their selection of Gourmet Pretzels, and split them between us, so that we could each try the different flavors. Bill had one of their regular salted ones previously and thought it was not bad. The menu board didn't list the flavors that these gourmet treats are available in, but Bill pointed out that they had a display case of them farther along on the concession stand, and I could go see for myself. Sure enough, there were all of these gourmet-looking pretzels hanging up in neat rows in the case, and we could enjoy them in salted, extreme garlic and parmesan, or cinnamon. Armed with this information, we approached the cashier and told her what we wanted, only to be told that they had no pretzels. Bill pointed out with unassailable logic that they were in the display case farther down on the concession stand. "Those are plastic," she replied calmly. I will say that of everything she might have told us in that situation, this was certainly not one that we were expecting, and it really took the wind right out of our sails, gastronomically speaking. Bill ended up having popcorn after all, and I had the nachos, but it just wasn't the same. Although, I would have to believe that it was a whole lot better than plastic pretzels, no matter how gourmet they might consider themselves.
While we were at the movies, we saw trailers for new movies coming out, and I don't mind saying that I will never understand where they come up with the idea that we need to see even more remakes of King Kong and Oliver Twist. Another upcoming movie is a sort of 1970's throwback to roller disco, if you can believe that, and it looks fairly interesting, with the usual characters and plot elements you find in underdog stories like "The Mighty Ducks" or "The Bad News Bears" and that ilk. It seems full of nostalgic and peppy disco music, flashy costumes and plenty of pratfalls and sight gags. I was just thinking that they may have hit on a winning combination here, when the slide came up with the title of this retro masterpiece, which turned out to have the unlikely name of "Roll Bounce." ROLL BOUNCE???!!! What the blazes kind of a stupid name is Roll Bounce? That doesn't even make any sense, and heck, how much sense does it have to make for a roller disco movie in the first place. I said to Bill, "Why didn't they just call it, ‘Don't Go See This Movie' because that's what a film with that title would make me want to do, I'd avoid it at all costs. I'm surprised they're not calling the new Oliver Twist movie, "Twist Dodge" instead. Honestly, you just don't know what gets into these people. Between their terrible titles and plastic pretzels, it's becoming obvious that going to the movies is not for the faint-hearted or slow-witted, so watch your step out there. And remember not to look back, in case Satchel Paige (or the Romans) are gaining on you!
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 5:39 PM
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