Wet Noodle
Hello World,
Happy Spring! Yes, the time has come, as it surely must, when we pass the vernal equinox and find ourselves firmly planted in Spring, along with the rest of the early shoots just poking up their heads in the flower-beds. (Or if you live with juvenile delinquent squirrels, as we do here, your early shoots are poking up in the driveway, between the cracks of the sidewalks, out the side of the rock wall and under the woodpile, but that's another story.) I believe our first crocus opened on March 10th, and the following week, we not only had crocus all over, but also very early jonquils, a couple of really hardy hyacinths, and even a pack of errant wind-flowers to cheer us along the path in the backyard. This week we had one or two sunny days with temperatures in the 60s, and today close to 70, and there has been a veritable explosion of daffodils everywhere in our yard, not to mention even forsythia in the sunnier locations around town. I hesitate to say that there's no stopping this juggernaut called Spring, because I have seen blizzards in April that have completely covered giant trumpet daffodils that were standing 15 inches tall, but if it were up to the flowers, Spring would definitely be here to stay. Whether or not the actual weather cooperates with them remains to be seen.
And so with Spring having sprung, that can only mean one thing, and in fact it's coming up this weekend, ready or not. Yes, everyone's favorite (NOT) or what I like to call the three most dreaded words in the English language, Daylight Saving Time is on Sunday. Every year when I complain about Daylight Saving Time, I try to find something else positive to say about it, for instance, at least it's not on Easter. This holds true again this year, as it's not anywhere near the bunny day of lore and legend, of the Orthodox or non-Orthodox version, or any other of any description. In fact, the only thing it's close to appears to be Benito Juarez's birthday, or some other obscure festival day from our friends south of the border, and I think we can all live with that. So be prepared to set your clocks ahead an hour, lose an hour of sleep, and Spring Forward with the rest of drowsy humanity on Sunday. Or you can stick to your own schedule, be fashionably late everywhere like the Orthodox Greeks, and say that you've given up Daylight Saving Time for Lent. Now there's an idea that might just catch on!
Here's another one of those stories that only seems to happen to me, and I mean that in contrast with normal people. I had a container of La Choy Chinese noodles to snack on, or have with rice for dinner, and found them very satisfactory. But then I remembered that when you order Chinese food out, they give you little packages of flat noodles, and it made me wonder if you could get those at the supermarket also, since I suddenly had a craving for them. Sure enough, when we went to the store after dinner one night, Bill spotted a package of them on the shelf, and we snapped them up in a twinkling. I was looking forward to having them as a snack on Saturday afternoon, so you can imagine that it was with some surprise and chagrin when I went to look for them, that apparently they never made it home from the supermarket with us, or got separated from us on the way into the house, to the enjoyment of our outdoor friends among the local wildlife. In any case, they weren't there, and I was disappointed, since I had been looking forward to them so much. So the following week, the whole scenario was repeated, except that this time, the package of noodles made it into the house, and Saturday afternoon found me hunkered down with my package of China Boy Wide Style Chow Mein Noodles, with much anticipation. The package assured me that these noodles were All Natural, No Preservatives, No Artificial Color or Flavor Added. I'll say! They were certainly right about that last part, because it turned out that they had absolutely no flavor whatsoever, good, bad or indifferent, there was a total lack of anything where the flavor should have been. Apparently the noodles have no taste to begin with, and since they make a point of saying they don't add any flavor to them, there's obviously no danger of any flavor cropping up unexpectedly. I suppose this would be a good thing as a base for a dish with a lot of flavor where you wouldn't want the noodles to compete with the rest of the ingredients, but as a snack, it was just like eating cardboard. This was only funny after we made a special trip to go buy them in the first place and not get them home, then go back and buy them all over again, only to find out we could have saved ourselves all the trouble to start with.
The other entertaining part of this experience was the recipe on the back of the package for tuna casserole, which called for 1 tablespoon of instant minced onion, and here I'm thinking, what in the blue blazes would an instant onion be? I mean, once it's already in a jar, how much more instant do you need it? I just can't figure that out. On the other hand, this same recipe called for one cup of celery (a whole cup!) and while I admit that there's few things I like less than celery, I still think a whole cup is going a bit overboard. Of course, they might mean All Natural, No Preservatives, No Artificial Color or Flavor Added Celery, which tastes just like cardboard, but I say it's still celery and I'm having none of it.
Meanwhile, in the wonderful world of alternative medicine, holistic therapy and chakras, we have Bill to thank for the following information about Reiki, which should help all of us lead happier and more peaceful lives:
==================================
Apparently everyone in the Reiki game is their own sect, so each has a different take on the "rules." The following are my two favorite versions.
REIKI AFFIRMATIONS:
1. Be kind to your neighbor and all living things.
- Being kind brings Love into the will.
2. Be thankful for your many blessings.
- Being thankful brings Joy into the spirit.
3. Work honestly.
- Working honestly brings Abundance into the soul.
4. Let go of anger.
- Letting go of anger brings Peace to the mind.
5. Let go of worry.
- Letting go of worry brings Healing to the body.
ASCENSION REIKI AFFIRMATIONS:
"I AM" Life
Separation is gone, I am remembering to be happy.
"I AM" Love
Fear is gone, I am remembering to be kind to my neighbor and all living things.
"I AM" Joy
Sorrow is gone, I am remembering to rejoice and give thanks for my many blessings.
"I AM" Abundance
Scarcity is gone, I am remembering to work honestly and be generous.
"I AM" Peace
Anger is gone, I am remembering to laugh.
"I AM" Healing
Worry is gone, I am remembering to smile.
===================================
Now, all of that is all well and good, and should be enough to keep anyone Joyful, Abundant and Kind, and probably with a killer aura besides, right? Not so fast, grasshopper! When Bill contacted his friends at his favorite Reiki web page and told them he needed an Affirmation about Patience (and needed it RIGHT NOW, by golly!) they told him to go ahead and make up his own. Well, around here, we call that sort of thing waving a red flag in front of a bull, so you can imagine what happened next. Bill started making up his own Pseudo-firmations, such as -
"I AM" Monday
Fuzzy jammies are gone and I'm remembering to put one foot in front of the other.
There was also this favorite, which I'm sure many of us can relate to -
"I AM" Memory
Something-or-other is gone and I am remembering . . . er, . . . um . . .
Last week when I was having a particularly challenging day at work, I came up with these pearls of wisdom -
"I AM" Serenity
Hysteria is gone and I am remembering to sweep the shell casings out of my office.
Bill took the opportunity on St. Patrick's Day to take the formula to a whole new level with this inventive masterpiece -
"I AM", in fact, only a limerick
so remembering this is a cheap trick
Unlike affirmations
on human relations
this reminds me -- be iconoclastic!
Feel free to play along and jump on the Reiki bandwagon for a ride into Peace, Love and Healing. It couldn't hurt and it might even help. The best part is that it's not illegal or immoral, and it has the added advantage of being non-fattening besides, unless you subscribe to another one of mine from the slings and arrows at work: "I AM" Serenity ... Despair is gone and I am remembering to eat lots of junk food!
Happy Spring! Yes, the time has come, as it surely must, when we pass the vernal equinox and find ourselves firmly planted in Spring, along with the rest of the early shoots just poking up their heads in the flower-beds. (Or if you live with juvenile delinquent squirrels, as we do here, your early shoots are poking up in the driveway, between the cracks of the sidewalks, out the side of the rock wall and under the woodpile, but that's another story.) I believe our first crocus opened on March 10th, and the following week, we not only had crocus all over, but also very early jonquils, a couple of really hardy hyacinths, and even a pack of errant wind-flowers to cheer us along the path in the backyard. This week we had one or two sunny days with temperatures in the 60s, and today close to 70, and there has been a veritable explosion of daffodils everywhere in our yard, not to mention even forsythia in the sunnier locations around town. I hesitate to say that there's no stopping this juggernaut called Spring, because I have seen blizzards in April that have completely covered giant trumpet daffodils that were standing 15 inches tall, but if it were up to the flowers, Spring would definitely be here to stay. Whether or not the actual weather cooperates with them remains to be seen.
And so with Spring having sprung, that can only mean one thing, and in fact it's coming up this weekend, ready or not. Yes, everyone's favorite (NOT) or what I like to call the three most dreaded words in the English language, Daylight Saving Time is on Sunday. Every year when I complain about Daylight Saving Time, I try to find something else positive to say about it, for instance, at least it's not on Easter. This holds true again this year, as it's not anywhere near the bunny day of lore and legend, of the Orthodox or non-Orthodox version, or any other of any description. In fact, the only thing it's close to appears to be Benito Juarez's birthday, or some other obscure festival day from our friends south of the border, and I think we can all live with that. So be prepared to set your clocks ahead an hour, lose an hour of sleep, and Spring Forward with the rest of drowsy humanity on Sunday. Or you can stick to your own schedule, be fashionably late everywhere like the Orthodox Greeks, and say that you've given up Daylight Saving Time for Lent. Now there's an idea that might just catch on!
Here's another one of those stories that only seems to happen to me, and I mean that in contrast with normal people. I had a container of La Choy Chinese noodles to snack on, or have with rice for dinner, and found them very satisfactory. But then I remembered that when you order Chinese food out, they give you little packages of flat noodles, and it made me wonder if you could get those at the supermarket also, since I suddenly had a craving for them. Sure enough, when we went to the store after dinner one night, Bill spotted a package of them on the shelf, and we snapped them up in a twinkling. I was looking forward to having them as a snack on Saturday afternoon, so you can imagine that it was with some surprise and chagrin when I went to look for them, that apparently they never made it home from the supermarket with us, or got separated from us on the way into the house, to the enjoyment of our outdoor friends among the local wildlife. In any case, they weren't there, and I was disappointed, since I had been looking forward to them so much. So the following week, the whole scenario was repeated, except that this time, the package of noodles made it into the house, and Saturday afternoon found me hunkered down with my package of China Boy Wide Style Chow Mein Noodles, with much anticipation. The package assured me that these noodles were All Natural, No Preservatives, No Artificial Color or Flavor Added. I'll say! They were certainly right about that last part, because it turned out that they had absolutely no flavor whatsoever, good, bad or indifferent, there was a total lack of anything where the flavor should have been. Apparently the noodles have no taste to begin with, and since they make a point of saying they don't add any flavor to them, there's obviously no danger of any flavor cropping up unexpectedly. I suppose this would be a good thing as a base for a dish with a lot of flavor where you wouldn't want the noodles to compete with the rest of the ingredients, but as a snack, it was just like eating cardboard. This was only funny after we made a special trip to go buy them in the first place and not get them home, then go back and buy them all over again, only to find out we could have saved ourselves all the trouble to start with.
The other entertaining part of this experience was the recipe on the back of the package for tuna casserole, which called for 1 tablespoon of instant minced onion, and here I'm thinking, what in the blue blazes would an instant onion be? I mean, once it's already in a jar, how much more instant do you need it? I just can't figure that out. On the other hand, this same recipe called for one cup of celery (a whole cup!) and while I admit that there's few things I like less than celery, I still think a whole cup is going a bit overboard. Of course, they might mean All Natural, No Preservatives, No Artificial Color or Flavor Added Celery, which tastes just like cardboard, but I say it's still celery and I'm having none of it.
Meanwhile, in the wonderful world of alternative medicine, holistic therapy and chakras, we have Bill to thank for the following information about Reiki, which should help all of us lead happier and more peaceful lives:
==================================
Apparently everyone in the Reiki game is their own sect, so each has a different take on the "rules." The following are my two favorite versions.
REIKI AFFIRMATIONS:
1. Be kind to your neighbor and all living things.
- Being kind brings Love into the will.
2. Be thankful for your many blessings.
- Being thankful brings Joy into the spirit.
3. Work honestly.
- Working honestly brings Abundance into the soul.
4. Let go of anger.
- Letting go of anger brings Peace to the mind.
5. Let go of worry.
- Letting go of worry brings Healing to the body.
ASCENSION REIKI AFFIRMATIONS:
"I AM" Life
Separation is gone, I am remembering to be happy.
"I AM" Love
Fear is gone, I am remembering to be kind to my neighbor and all living things.
"I AM" Joy
Sorrow is gone, I am remembering to rejoice and give thanks for my many blessings.
"I AM" Abundance
Scarcity is gone, I am remembering to work honestly and be generous.
"I AM" Peace
Anger is gone, I am remembering to laugh.
"I AM" Healing
Worry is gone, I am remembering to smile.
===================================
Now, all of that is all well and good, and should be enough to keep anyone Joyful, Abundant and Kind, and probably with a killer aura besides, right? Not so fast, grasshopper! When Bill contacted his friends at his favorite Reiki web page and told them he needed an Affirmation about Patience (and needed it RIGHT NOW, by golly!) they told him to go ahead and make up his own. Well, around here, we call that sort of thing waving a red flag in front of a bull, so you can imagine what happened next. Bill started making up his own Pseudo-firmations, such as -
"I AM" Monday
Fuzzy jammies are gone and I'm remembering to put one foot in front of the other.
There was also this favorite, which I'm sure many of us can relate to -
"I AM" Memory
Something-or-other is gone and I am remembering . . . er, . . . um . . .
Last week when I was having a particularly challenging day at work, I came up with these pearls of wisdom -
"I AM" Serenity
Hysteria is gone and I am remembering to sweep the shell casings out of my office.
Bill took the opportunity on St. Patrick's Day to take the formula to a whole new level with this inventive masterpiece -
"I AM", in fact, only a limerick
so remembering this is a cheap trick
Unlike affirmations
on human relations
this reminds me -- be iconoclastic!
Feel free to play along and jump on the Reiki bandwagon for a ride into Peace, Love and Healing. It couldn't hurt and it might even help. The best part is that it's not illegal or immoral, and it has the added advantage of being non-fattening besides, unless you subscribe to another one of mine from the slings and arrows at work: "I AM" Serenity ... Despair is gone and I am remembering to eat lots of junk food!
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 9:19 PM
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