Spring Fling

Greetings, Mr. and Mrs. America and All The Ships At Sea!

Welcome to the First Day of Spring, getting off to a rousing start in the local area with snow flurries, of all things, which I suppose only goes to prove that Mother Nature has a sense of humor, or that Old Man Winter still has some tricks up his sleeve. Of course, we can't rule out the possibility that our old nemesis comrade Mischka has been fiddling around once again with the Kremlin's infernal weather machine, and there's also the Revenge of the Reporter Who Got Bit by the Groundhog to keep in mind, so there would seem to be plenty of culprits if we want to spread the blame around on this one. Under these conditions, a person like myself who would be normally susceptible to Spring Fever, would be more likely to contract a bad case of Spring Fuddles, being rendered incapable of accomplishing the most routine tasks, so I'm sure you will all understand if I succumb to the urge and go lay down until the crisis has passed. But while we're on the subject of Spring, I wanted to share with you the brilliant insights of a kindred spirit, on a topic near and dear to my heart, and perhaps even nearer and dearer to what's left of my poor addled brain cells. In fact, this is an idea whose time has not only come, but is long since past, and I only wish that I had thought of it first, or my name isn't --

Fuddles

=================================
Daylight Savings Time Reform
RICH@suhep.phy.syr.edu (Richard S. Holmes)(topical, smirk, original)
An original item.
=================
IMMODEST PROPOSAL #1: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME REFORM
Richard S. Holmes
It happens every spring: crocuses, baseball (with any luck), and the switch to
Daylight Savings Time (DST).
Coming off DST is not hard. In the Fall, we set our clocks back one hour. We
all get an extra hour to sleep, and those who forget find themselves at church,
or the airport, or wherever an hour early. Embarrassing, but not catastrophic.
But in the Spring we set the clocks forward, and the trouble begins. We lose
an hour of sleep. Forgetful people miss Mass, planes, breakfast, and the big
game on TV. Some are thrown into disarray for up to a full week. Annual
losses due to DST confusion have been estimated (by me) at over a million
dollars. I myself have missed a flight to Washington and a showing of The
Seven Samurai because of DST.
There is no need for such tragic waste. We can -- we should and must -- urge
our lawmakers to reform Daylight Savings Time as follows:
Setting clocks back is easy; setting them forward is difficult. Therefore, let
us keep the fall ritual as it is. However, one Sunday each Spring, let us set
our clocks not one hour forward, but TWENTY-THREE HOURS BACKWARD.
Think of all the advantages. We will not lose an hour of sleep; we will gain
(almost) a day of rest. It will be Saturday all over again. You will never
again miss Confession, or an airplane, or the Redskins game.
Naturally, if this were the whole plan, our calendars would fall behind one day
in each year. However, the second part of the Revised DST Plan deals with
this. Every four years, instead of adding a day, let us SUBTRACT THREE DAYS.
Furthermore, let these be Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, which according to
recent polls are the least popular days.
If done in February, which seems reasonable considering what a miserable month
it is, this would have the beneficial side effect of shortening the
excruciating presidential primary season by an effective four days.
The advantages of this plan are clear. Let us waste no time. With a determined
effort we can have Reformed Daylight Savings Time by Spring of next year.
Write your congressperson today!
(From the "Rest" of RHF)