Clown Car
Hello World,
Well, this has been an eventful week, and it's not over yet, not by a long shot. It would be easy to complain about the day after day of nasty and rainy weather, and I was one of the people complaining, believe me. But I didn't let it stand in the way of Walk Group, and although it was a solo effort, I was out there every day despite the conditions. On Wednesday, it was raining harder than I expected, but I was doing pretty good with my jacket on, that is, until a minivan came along and hit a puddle, which drenched me from head to toe, and thanks so very much not. Fortunately, I change into my exercise clothes before I go on Walk Group, so when I got back to my office, I could just change back into my dry clothes and not be wet all the rest of the day. The weather reports had said that it was going to clear up, but after pouring rain all day, it didn't seem like that was ever going to happen. Then suddenly at 4:00 PM, all of the clouds miraculously vanished, leaving behind brilliant sunshine, radiant blue skies, and the most wonderful rainbow that was just a sight to behold. I ran down the hall and made the Accounting people come and see it, since it was only on my side of the building. It was a very special moment on a day that had been less than optimal up to that point, and giving us all a reason to hope for the future.
Speaking of special moments, of course everyone is aware that the end of Daylight Saving Time will be happening after Midnight on Halloween, which I think is one of the worst ideas that they have come up with, since they had it on Easter Sunday, thanks not. So anyone who doesn't remember to do so on Halloween, should remember on Sunday morning to turn their clocks back an hour, as we return to Standard Time for a brief period before the lunacy starts all over again in the spring. Of course, anyone still running an ancient steam-powered version of Windows 2000NT, like we are at the hospital, has already experienced the slings and arrows of chronology run amok, because our computers already fell back an hour last week, since it was programmed to do that automatically on the old schedule of DST in October. So all week, my computer has been trying to convince me that it's earlier than it is, but I wasn't falling for that, because I may not know much, but one thing I do know is that it's always later than you think.
And speaking of being later than you think, we come to yet another twist in the continuing saga of my Halloween costume, which as alert readers may recall, arrived without one very necessary component, and scant days before it would be needed on the Friday before Halloween. I wasn't worried, because it was quite a simple piece, and one that I felt sure I could round up easily on my next trip to CVS or the supermarket. It turned out the joke was on me when I went to the supermarket on Saturday, which I point out was an entire week before Halloween, only to find their seasonal aisle was nothing but Christmas decorations as far as the eye could see. There wasn't a pumpkin, Pilgrim, scarecrow or witch in sight, when two days before it had been a Halloween hot spot, and once again, thanks so very much not. Rather than going crazy and driving around in circles, I ordered it online and asked them to send it overnight, thus averting a costume catastrophe and just in the nick of time. St. Nick of time, that is.
And since today is in fact the Friday before Halloween, I can report that this year's clown costume was very popular at work, much more than I would have expected for such a traditional costume idea. Just like the bride costume, there were plenty in child sizes, but I had a lot of trouble finding one to my liking in adult sizes, where they tended to run more to spooky clowns, or clown criminals, or just plain psychopaths, and I had just about given up hope when I finally found the most perfect clown costume and snapped it up on the spot. Since I was wearing it to work, I decided against big clown shoes, figuring they would be hard to walk in, and settled on a vibrant pair of soft shoes with holes in the front where my multi-stripe socks were supposed to show through, except that my feet were too short for this effect to really stand out. It included a matching hat, and I rounded it all out with an official Bozo red foam nose, a rainbow fright wig, a squeaker horn and the most adorable tiny parasol on a very long handle. The costume itself had polka dots on top and stripes on the bottom, and a plastic hoop in the middle to keep its roly-poly shape all by itself. The plastic was light and flexible enough not to be a hindrance in sitting or moving around, and I had no trouble driving in it. In fact, this had an inadvertent comic effect when another driver cut me off in the traffic circle on my way to work, and I shouted: "You're a moron!" while looking down my red foam nose at them, "I may be a clown, but you're a moron!"
My first stop at work was the computer department, where I told them I was their new tech help, and they agreed that I would fit right in. When I got to my office, people came from all over to see me first thing, and I was surprised at how popular the costume was, everyone loved it. They all said I was so cute, but I find that my coworkers tend to say that about my costumes anyway, regardless of whether I'm a mobster, or the Statue of Liberty, or a devil, or Uncle Sam, when "cute" might not be the effect that I'm hoping for. I found the costume was not uncomfortable, although the wig was pretty warm, but like any costume, it would take some getting used to. Since it's wide, I found I would knock things over that I didn't think I was that close to, and while it's possible to eat a fun-size candy bar with a red foam nose (and I ought to know) I discovered that you can't drink anything unless you use a straw. Every costume is an adventure in the ladies room, and this no different, since you step into it like a jumpsuit, so you basically have to take the whole thing off to go to the bathroom, but at least there isn't plastic grass everywhere, like the Hula Girl costume. It was lucky that it was a quiet day at work, because I found the wig made it almost impossible to talk on the phone, which probably explains the notable lack of clowns in the upper echelons of business these days.
At lunch time, I was off on my trick-or-treating rounds about the campus, spreading joy and sunshine in my wake. I started at the party in Adult Day Care, which is always entertaining, then on to the nursing home, where the DJ keeps things hopping, and the residents may be in wheelchairs, but their toes are tapping, by golly. I wasn't expecting any other parties, but I stumbled into one in Engineering, where one of the housekeepers was retiring after 47 years of service, and there was cake for all, even clowns like me who showed up uninvited, and glad of it. I continued along to the various departments in different buildings, and as usual, the trick-or-treating was hit-or-miss, but I did get some candy in my travels, and even better, I didn't lose candy to pathetic filchers along the way, which is what usually happens, so that I often come back with less candy than I started out with. I was a big hit everywhere I went, and for a change, I wasn't beset with people trying to guess my costume, and coming up with "fairy godmother," regardless of what I'm dressed like. I always say that there's no costume so iconic that people won't get it wrong, but that didn't seem to be the case with the clown costume after all.
No matter where I went, everyone wanted to take my picture with their cell phone, so at least that segment of the technology market is booming, if nothing else. I said they would need to use a wide-angle lens, or stand far away, since the hoop is a full 84-inches around, and on a short person like me, looks even wider. It was a beautiful day to be out walking around, upstairs and downstairs, and I have to cover a lot of ground, so that I don't leave anyone out. In the department of Medicine, they all broke up when I came in, but I shook my finger at them and said, "Don't laugh, I'm one of the new doctors." In the hallway, I bumped into two of the ladies I know from Walk Group, and I said, "Do you want to go for a walk?" They laughed, and I pointed to my 84-inch waistline and observed that the exercise program hadn't really helped as much as I might have hoped. I wrapped up in the Mental Health Clinic, where I announced to the receptionist, "I think I've finally snapped," and she assured me they would hold a room for me. From there, I ambled back to my office, tired but happy, and content in the knowledge that I had brought smiles to the faces of people who probably thought there were already enough clowns in the healthcare industry, but they were wrong, because it turned out there was room for one more.
I hurried home from work and we took pictures as usual, but the best part of the day was that it wasn't really Halloween at all, only Halloween at work, so I didn't have to rush through dinner and get ready for costumed visitors to come calling for trick-or-treat until tomorrow. After I changed, we were able to go out and eat dinner like civilized people, and still have plenty of time on Saturday to get ready for real Halloween in a relaxed and organized manner, rather than pelting around at the last minute like a crazy person. In a lot of ways, this is so much better, making a person wish that Halloween was always on a Saturday, instead of always being on the 31st, no matter what day of the week it might be. Of course, then those dastardly villains would have to find a new day for the switch-over from Daylight Stupid Time, because otherwise, it would just be insane, and I ought to know. After all, everyone knows that I'm a clown and not a moron.
Elle
Well, this has been an eventful week, and it's not over yet, not by a long shot. It would be easy to complain about the day after day of nasty and rainy weather, and I was one of the people complaining, believe me. But I didn't let it stand in the way of Walk Group, and although it was a solo effort, I was out there every day despite the conditions. On Wednesday, it was raining harder than I expected, but I was doing pretty good with my jacket on, that is, until a minivan came along and hit a puddle, which drenched me from head to toe, and thanks so very much not. Fortunately, I change into my exercise clothes before I go on Walk Group, so when I got back to my office, I could just change back into my dry clothes and not be wet all the rest of the day. The weather reports had said that it was going to clear up, but after pouring rain all day, it didn't seem like that was ever going to happen. Then suddenly at 4:00 PM, all of the clouds miraculously vanished, leaving behind brilliant sunshine, radiant blue skies, and the most wonderful rainbow that was just a sight to behold. I ran down the hall and made the Accounting people come and see it, since it was only on my side of the building. It was a very special moment on a day that had been less than optimal up to that point, and giving us all a reason to hope for the future.
Speaking of special moments, of course everyone is aware that the end of Daylight Saving Time will be happening after Midnight on Halloween, which I think is one of the worst ideas that they have come up with, since they had it on Easter Sunday, thanks not. So anyone who doesn't remember to do so on Halloween, should remember on Sunday morning to turn their clocks back an hour, as we return to Standard Time for a brief period before the lunacy starts all over again in the spring. Of course, anyone still running an ancient steam-powered version of Windows 2000NT, like we are at the hospital, has already experienced the slings and arrows of chronology run amok, because our computers already fell back an hour last week, since it was programmed to do that automatically on the old schedule of DST in October. So all week, my computer has been trying to convince me that it's earlier than it is, but I wasn't falling for that, because I may not know much, but one thing I do know is that it's always later than you think.
And speaking of being later than you think, we come to yet another twist in the continuing saga of my Halloween costume, which as alert readers may recall, arrived without one very necessary component, and scant days before it would be needed on the Friday before Halloween. I wasn't worried, because it was quite a simple piece, and one that I felt sure I could round up easily on my next trip to CVS or the supermarket. It turned out the joke was on me when I went to the supermarket on Saturday, which I point out was an entire week before Halloween, only to find their seasonal aisle was nothing but Christmas decorations as far as the eye could see. There wasn't a pumpkin, Pilgrim, scarecrow or witch in sight, when two days before it had been a Halloween hot spot, and once again, thanks so very much not. Rather than going crazy and driving around in circles, I ordered it online and asked them to send it overnight, thus averting a costume catastrophe and just in the nick of time. St. Nick of time, that is.
And since today is in fact the Friday before Halloween, I can report that this year's clown costume was very popular at work, much more than I would have expected for such a traditional costume idea. Just like the bride costume, there were plenty in child sizes, but I had a lot of trouble finding one to my liking in adult sizes, where they tended to run more to spooky clowns, or clown criminals, or just plain psychopaths, and I had just about given up hope when I finally found the most perfect clown costume and snapped it up on the spot. Since I was wearing it to work, I decided against big clown shoes, figuring they would be hard to walk in, and settled on a vibrant pair of soft shoes with holes in the front where my multi-stripe socks were supposed to show through, except that my feet were too short for this effect to really stand out. It included a matching hat, and I rounded it all out with an official Bozo red foam nose, a rainbow fright wig, a squeaker horn and the most adorable tiny parasol on a very long handle. The costume itself had polka dots on top and stripes on the bottom, and a plastic hoop in the middle to keep its roly-poly shape all by itself. The plastic was light and flexible enough not to be a hindrance in sitting or moving around, and I had no trouble driving in it. In fact, this had an inadvertent comic effect when another driver cut me off in the traffic circle on my way to work, and I shouted: "You're a moron!" while looking down my red foam nose at them, "I may be a clown, but you're a moron!"
My first stop at work was the computer department, where I told them I was their new tech help, and they agreed that I would fit right in. When I got to my office, people came from all over to see me first thing, and I was surprised at how popular the costume was, everyone loved it. They all said I was so cute, but I find that my coworkers tend to say that about my costumes anyway, regardless of whether I'm a mobster, or the Statue of Liberty, or a devil, or Uncle Sam, when "cute" might not be the effect that I'm hoping for. I found the costume was not uncomfortable, although the wig was pretty warm, but like any costume, it would take some getting used to. Since it's wide, I found I would knock things over that I didn't think I was that close to, and while it's possible to eat a fun-size candy bar with a red foam nose (and I ought to know) I discovered that you can't drink anything unless you use a straw. Every costume is an adventure in the ladies room, and this no different, since you step into it like a jumpsuit, so you basically have to take the whole thing off to go to the bathroom, but at least there isn't plastic grass everywhere, like the Hula Girl costume. It was lucky that it was a quiet day at work, because I found the wig made it almost impossible to talk on the phone, which probably explains the notable lack of clowns in the upper echelons of business these days.
At lunch time, I was off on my trick-or-treating rounds about the campus, spreading joy and sunshine in my wake. I started at the party in Adult Day Care, which is always entertaining, then on to the nursing home, where the DJ keeps things hopping, and the residents may be in wheelchairs, but their toes are tapping, by golly. I wasn't expecting any other parties, but I stumbled into one in Engineering, where one of the housekeepers was retiring after 47 years of service, and there was cake for all, even clowns like me who showed up uninvited, and glad of it. I continued along to the various departments in different buildings, and as usual, the trick-or-treating was hit-or-miss, but I did get some candy in my travels, and even better, I didn't lose candy to pathetic filchers along the way, which is what usually happens, so that I often come back with less candy than I started out with. I was a big hit everywhere I went, and for a change, I wasn't beset with people trying to guess my costume, and coming up with "fairy godmother," regardless of what I'm dressed like. I always say that there's no costume so iconic that people won't get it wrong, but that didn't seem to be the case with the clown costume after all.
No matter where I went, everyone wanted to take my picture with their cell phone, so at least that segment of the technology market is booming, if nothing else. I said they would need to use a wide-angle lens, or stand far away, since the hoop is a full 84-inches around, and on a short person like me, looks even wider. It was a beautiful day to be out walking around, upstairs and downstairs, and I have to cover a lot of ground, so that I don't leave anyone out. In the department of Medicine, they all broke up when I came in, but I shook my finger at them and said, "Don't laugh, I'm one of the new doctors." In the hallway, I bumped into two of the ladies I know from Walk Group, and I said, "Do you want to go for a walk?" They laughed, and I pointed to my 84-inch waistline and observed that the exercise program hadn't really helped as much as I might have hoped. I wrapped up in the Mental Health Clinic, where I announced to the receptionist, "I think I've finally snapped," and she assured me they would hold a room for me. From there, I ambled back to my office, tired but happy, and content in the knowledge that I had brought smiles to the faces of people who probably thought there were already enough clowns in the healthcare industry, but they were wrong, because it turned out there was room for one more.
I hurried home from work and we took pictures as usual, but the best part of the day was that it wasn't really Halloween at all, only Halloween at work, so I didn't have to rush through dinner and get ready for costumed visitors to come calling for trick-or-treat until tomorrow. After I changed, we were able to go out and eat dinner like civilized people, and still have plenty of time on Saturday to get ready for real Halloween in a relaxed and organized manner, rather than pelting around at the last minute like a crazy person. In a lot of ways, this is so much better, making a person wish that Halloween was always on a Saturday, instead of always being on the 31st, no matter what day of the week it might be. Of course, then those dastardly villains would have to find a new day for the switch-over from Daylight Stupid Time, because otherwise, it would just be insane, and I ought to know. After all, everyone knows that I'm a clown and not a moron.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 8:45 PM
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