Exclamation Point
Hello World,
Happy (belated) Columbus Day! Now, it's true that no one seems to care about good old Christopher anymore, and as a holiday, it's pretty much relegated to just the banks and the Post Office, and they'll close for anything, heaven knows. Where Bill works was closed, so I took the day off too, and nice to have a three-day weekend all to ourselves. Of course, everyone already knows what I think of short weeks at work, and this no different, so having a day off can be something of a double-edged sword, and even more so when I take a day off while everyone else is still at work. But I made it through the week in one piece, and even more incredibly, the homicide detectives never needed to be called in, although it was a near thing on more than one occasion, believe me. Obviously, I know better than to keep a gun in my office, and the building is too short to throw anyone out a window with any impact, but I still did a pretty good job with what I had at hand. That guy from the Lab is probably still picking staples out of himself.
Also at work, it seemed like every day someone on Walk Group would wonder whatever happened to Marathon Margie, who started the group in the first place and then just vanished, and nobody knew whatever became of her. And yet when she called me on Tuesday, I was in such a fog that I almost said: "Who?" She said that she was going around to gather support for one of those "walk for a cure" type of fund-raising events that they have, so I said I'd be happy to be supportive of her efforts. Because the event is on the 25th, which is Reformation Sunday, I would have to be at church instead and couldn't be there in person, or risk getting drummed out of the Lutherans altogether, since we pretty much invented the whole Reformation to start with. But she said that I could sponsor her to walk in my place, and I was happy to do that, and it was great to see her again after what seemed like a long time. I was even more surprised the next day, when she dropped out of nowhere and joined us on Walk Group, and it was just like old times, and a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the good times could not last, because we found out something about Margie that we never knew. Apparently she's been working as a sort of adjunct in our Diabetic Teaching Unit, as a nutritionist and educator, as part of a grant that the hospital received from the New York State Department of Health, and which expired in September. So her position is no longer funded, and until the grant is renewed, she really does not have a position at the hospital in the interim. So it was a kind of bittersweet reunion with Walk Group, and we're all hoping that things will work out so that she can come back and keep us on the right track to health and fitness. After all, a stapler is not a long-range weapon, so I need to be able to chase after people if I have to.
In other work news, I had no choice but to go to Administration today, where it seems like I haven't been for a long time, since I admit that I had forgotten to go pick up time cards for the last few pay periods like I usually would. I had neglected to change into my non-skid sneakers before I went, and found myself approaching their door in slippery dress shoes, since I remembered too late about the new slick floors in there, which are like trying to walk across an ice rink. So you can imagine my surprise when I pulled open the door from the hallway, and stepped solidly onto the new carpet runner that covers the length of the office, once again making the department safe for pedestrians. "Oh, carpet!" I couldn't help but blurt out when I stepped on it, as if this was some brilliant safety innovation, and not like they didn't have carpeting in there for decades without endangering anybody. So it would appear that the days of the high-speed skee-ball track in Administration have come to an end, although it is only a carpet runner, and could easily be rolled out of the way, for those of us who want to practice changing into cartoon characters and turning around in mid-air, hopefully without the cartoon anvil that usually shows up at the most inopportune moments.
Speaking of opportune moments, everyone knows by now that I spend a lot of time and effort at this season of the year, gathering costume elements so that I can entertain the devotees and startle the unwary on Halloween, and this year no exception. Although I didn't start as early as I should have, I still thought I had everything under control, and would have all the necessary parts in place in plenty of time for the big day, which for me, will be happening a day early this time around. So it was with some trepidation that I picked up a package in the mail that was about the size of a postage stamp, and weighed absolutely nothing, and yet I recognized the return address as the costume store where I had placed my order, indicating that this would indeed be my Halloween costume. "Gee, I hope not!" I said to Bill, figuring that this package would be incapable of holding anything more substantial than a couple of pasties and a G-string, if that. I realize that after the Hula Girl costume of last year, it might seem like a natural progression for me to dress up as a stripper this year, but I can assure everyone that would not be my intention. I think we can all agree that the bed sheet ghost costume would be the coward's way out, but it must be said that the Halloween stripper is an idea whose time has not yet come, and at this rate, I doubt that it will ever come, and that's probably a good thing.
On the topic of good things, I believe that the psychological benefits of FaceBook have been woefully overlooked by the medical community for far too long. (Don't tell me to put down that stapler, I'm serious about this.) It's true that on the surface, FaceBook would appear to be nothing more than a superficial waste of time without any redeeming social value, sort of like cable television, if they had a frat party channel. But in so many ways, FaceBook is really like a perfect world, where you can go and have fun, communicate, do lots of different things, and unlike real life, everything always turns out well. So many of the applications are so similar that you know what to expect from one to another, whether you're in a mob, on the farm, in Sherwood Forest, or fighting off vampires. You start by creating a character, and they already give you a place to live, play money, things to do, and they let you know other friends who are already playing the same application, so you can go visit them. Every day when you show up, you win more game coins just for being there, and for everything you do, you earn points, regardless of whether you do it well or not. In fact, even if all of your crops die, when you plow them under and start all over again, you gain points, and just try doing that on a real farm, by golly. You can use your coins to buy things for your character, like clothes and furniture and decorations, and everything you buy earns you more points. The points help you move up from one level to the next, and at each level, you have access to more luxurious items than the previous level. It's more collaborative than competitive, and they want you to succeed, so all of the rewards are accompanied by a lot of fanfare, with cheering, fireworks, ribbons and effusive proclamations that make you feel like you just won the Nobel Prize, even if all you did was play virtual Frisbee with your virtual pet. You are encouraged to send free gifts to your friends, and they send you gifts too, so you both get gifts and more points just for that. You get points for visiting your friends, and extra points for helping out on their farm, or at their restaurant, or in their mob, or Band of Merrie Men. It's deceptively seductive, because each one is designed for you to be successful at every step along the way, so that basically all you have to do is show up and play, and you gain the rewards that are built right into the program. In fact, yesterday I got 30 coins for LOSING a race, and as far as a reward system goes, I don't see how you can beat that. It isn't a question of skill as much as persistence, and every day is like Christmas, as one windfall after another is bestowed upon all of your characters in the various games that they're in. It's like having a limitless doll house with all of your friends, and unlike dolls in the real world, you can buy these all the outfits, furnishings and gadgets that you want for nothing, except the time it takes to earn the game coins. I call this the "Barbie Dream House" for grownups, which in stark contrast to reality, is where fun is guaranteed, boredom is unlikely, and failure is impossible. I can be the Queen of my Domain, and I don't mind saying, it's easy to get used to being treated like royalty. Why, I haven't even had to use my virtual stapler on anyone.
Elle
Happy (belated) Columbus Day! Now, it's true that no one seems to care about good old Christopher anymore, and as a holiday, it's pretty much relegated to just the banks and the Post Office, and they'll close for anything, heaven knows. Where Bill works was closed, so I took the day off too, and nice to have a three-day weekend all to ourselves. Of course, everyone already knows what I think of short weeks at work, and this no different, so having a day off can be something of a double-edged sword, and even more so when I take a day off while everyone else is still at work. But I made it through the week in one piece, and even more incredibly, the homicide detectives never needed to be called in, although it was a near thing on more than one occasion, believe me. Obviously, I know better than to keep a gun in my office, and the building is too short to throw anyone out a window with any impact, but I still did a pretty good job with what I had at hand. That guy from the Lab is probably still picking staples out of himself.
Also at work, it seemed like every day someone on Walk Group would wonder whatever happened to Marathon Margie, who started the group in the first place and then just vanished, and nobody knew whatever became of her. And yet when she called me on Tuesday, I was in such a fog that I almost said: "Who?" She said that she was going around to gather support for one of those "walk for a cure" type of fund-raising events that they have, so I said I'd be happy to be supportive of her efforts. Because the event is on the 25th, which is Reformation Sunday, I would have to be at church instead and couldn't be there in person, or risk getting drummed out of the Lutherans altogether, since we pretty much invented the whole Reformation to start with. But she said that I could sponsor her to walk in my place, and I was happy to do that, and it was great to see her again after what seemed like a long time. I was even more surprised the next day, when she dropped out of nowhere and joined us on Walk Group, and it was just like old times, and a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the good times could not last, because we found out something about Margie that we never knew. Apparently she's been working as a sort of adjunct in our Diabetic Teaching Unit, as a nutritionist and educator, as part of a grant that the hospital received from the New York State Department of Health, and which expired in September. So her position is no longer funded, and until the grant is renewed, she really does not have a position at the hospital in the interim. So it was a kind of bittersweet reunion with Walk Group, and we're all hoping that things will work out so that she can come back and keep us on the right track to health and fitness. After all, a stapler is not a long-range weapon, so I need to be able to chase after people if I have to.
In other work news, I had no choice but to go to Administration today, where it seems like I haven't been for a long time, since I admit that I had forgotten to go pick up time cards for the last few pay periods like I usually would. I had neglected to change into my non-skid sneakers before I went, and found myself approaching their door in slippery dress shoes, since I remembered too late about the new slick floors in there, which are like trying to walk across an ice rink. So you can imagine my surprise when I pulled open the door from the hallway, and stepped solidly onto the new carpet runner that covers the length of the office, once again making the department safe for pedestrians. "Oh, carpet!" I couldn't help but blurt out when I stepped on it, as if this was some brilliant safety innovation, and not like they didn't have carpeting in there for decades without endangering anybody. So it would appear that the days of the high-speed skee-ball track in Administration have come to an end, although it is only a carpet runner, and could easily be rolled out of the way, for those of us who want to practice changing into cartoon characters and turning around in mid-air, hopefully without the cartoon anvil that usually shows up at the most inopportune moments.
Speaking of opportune moments, everyone knows by now that I spend a lot of time and effort at this season of the year, gathering costume elements so that I can entertain the devotees and startle the unwary on Halloween, and this year no exception. Although I didn't start as early as I should have, I still thought I had everything under control, and would have all the necessary parts in place in plenty of time for the big day, which for me, will be happening a day early this time around. So it was with some trepidation that I picked up a package in the mail that was about the size of a postage stamp, and weighed absolutely nothing, and yet I recognized the return address as the costume store where I had placed my order, indicating that this would indeed be my Halloween costume. "Gee, I hope not!" I said to Bill, figuring that this package would be incapable of holding anything more substantial than a couple of pasties and a G-string, if that. I realize that after the Hula Girl costume of last year, it might seem like a natural progression for me to dress up as a stripper this year, but I can assure everyone that would not be my intention. I think we can all agree that the bed sheet ghost costume would be the coward's way out, but it must be said that the Halloween stripper is an idea whose time has not yet come, and at this rate, I doubt that it will ever come, and that's probably a good thing.
On the topic of good things, I believe that the psychological benefits of FaceBook have been woefully overlooked by the medical community for far too long. (Don't tell me to put down that stapler, I'm serious about this.) It's true that on the surface, FaceBook would appear to be nothing more than a superficial waste of time without any redeeming social value, sort of like cable television, if they had a frat party channel. But in so many ways, FaceBook is really like a perfect world, where you can go and have fun, communicate, do lots of different things, and unlike real life, everything always turns out well. So many of the applications are so similar that you know what to expect from one to another, whether you're in a mob, on the farm, in Sherwood Forest, or fighting off vampires. You start by creating a character, and they already give you a place to live, play money, things to do, and they let you know other friends who are already playing the same application, so you can go visit them. Every day when you show up, you win more game coins just for being there, and for everything you do, you earn points, regardless of whether you do it well or not. In fact, even if all of your crops die, when you plow them under and start all over again, you gain points, and just try doing that on a real farm, by golly. You can use your coins to buy things for your character, like clothes and furniture and decorations, and everything you buy earns you more points. The points help you move up from one level to the next, and at each level, you have access to more luxurious items than the previous level. It's more collaborative than competitive, and they want you to succeed, so all of the rewards are accompanied by a lot of fanfare, with cheering, fireworks, ribbons and effusive proclamations that make you feel like you just won the Nobel Prize, even if all you did was play virtual Frisbee with your virtual pet. You are encouraged to send free gifts to your friends, and they send you gifts too, so you both get gifts and more points just for that. You get points for visiting your friends, and extra points for helping out on their farm, or at their restaurant, or in their mob, or Band of Merrie Men. It's deceptively seductive, because each one is designed for you to be successful at every step along the way, so that basically all you have to do is show up and play, and you gain the rewards that are built right into the program. In fact, yesterday I got 30 coins for LOSING a race, and as far as a reward system goes, I don't see how you can beat that. It isn't a question of skill as much as persistence, and every day is like Christmas, as one windfall after another is bestowed upon all of your characters in the various games that they're in. It's like having a limitless doll house with all of your friends, and unlike dolls in the real world, you can buy these all the outfits, furnishings and gadgets that you want for nothing, except the time it takes to earn the game coins. I call this the "Barbie Dream House" for grownups, which in stark contrast to reality, is where fun is guaranteed, boredom is unlikely, and failure is impossible. I can be the Queen of my Domain, and I don't mind saying, it's easy to get used to being treated like royalty. Why, I haven't even had to use my virtual stapler on anyone.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 9:25 PM
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