Sew And Sew
Hello World,
Happy (belated) Groundhog Day! I hope that you enjoyed a very wonderful holiday on Tuesday, in keeping with the true spirit of the occasion, and ground that hog, or hogged that ground, or whatever it is that we're supposed to do when the big day rolls around. My personal feeling is that there's no wrong way to celebrate a holiday, in spite of the Holiday Police, so I say you might as well go right ahead and break out the green beer, noisemakers, lederhosen and fireworks, not to mention the ubiquitous marshmallow Peeps, and party till the cows come home. Or at least the groundhogs, although I have to day that if they come home here, they'll have to bring their own Peeps, because I'm not sharing.
In other event news, of the more monumental variety, the wait is finally over, and we have arrived at the weekend that includes Super Bowl Sunday at long last. Of course, that means that the rest of the sports scene is pretty slim pickings, and all of the multitude of 24-hour sports channels are finding themselves with plenty of time on their hands and not much to cover. In fact, I just noticed that the mighty ESPN was reduced to showing high school basketball in prime time, and I know this because it was highlighted in the Best Bets of our TV listings, so that has to tell you something right there. Next it will be championship Tiddly Winks from the Nursery School League, with the sideline reporter doing an in-depth story on the toddler playing left tiddly. Except for the Super Bowl, the rest of February has such a dearth of sports that it's a wonder the government doesn't just step in and invent a sport for the month, to preserve the peace and keep an unruly populace from wholesale rioting. It certainly explains why the Romans cut the month short, so that we could get it out of the way and come to March Madness sooner, and don't forget, that was back when the Super Bowl was still being played in January.
Apart from sports, however, February does boast more than its share of eventful days, and not just Groundhog Day, not by a long shot. Of course, everyone knows that tomorrow is Waitangi Day, followed by the Super Bowl on Sunday. The following Sunday is not only Valentine's Day, beloved by romantics and merchants alike, but the beginning of Chinese New Year, and this will be the Year of the Tiger. Hard on the heels of that will be Mardi Gras on Tuesday, followed by Ash Wednesday, which ushers in the season of Lent, putting an end to all of this frivolity. Not so fast! There's still plenty more to celebrate in the month, which certainly packs a festive wallop for being the shortest month of the year. It goes without saying that February is Black History Month, and also boasts the birthdays of two famous Presidents, as well as Presidents Day to honor all the chief executives throughout the country's history, well, at least until recently, when there was not much worth celebrating in that office. There's also Candlemas on the 2nd, Umbrella Day on the 10th, Love Your Pet Day on the 21st and Polar Bear Day on the 27th. I think my favorite day of the month is the 20th, which they claim has no events or observances associated with it at all. Mind you, this calendar goes on to list other so-called events for the month such as Floral Design Day, Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day, Banana Bread Day, Ferris Wheel Day, Read to Your Child Day, Chocolate Mint Day, Clean out Your Computer Day, Thank a Mailman Day and Stuffed Mushroom Day, to name just a few. So for them to say that there is nothing happening on February 20th, by golly, that's got to set some kind of record for nothingness, compared to the stuff they have already listed. Personally, I think this is the kind of day that we can all rally around, and I propose that we nominate February 20th as Celebrate Nothing Day, and don't spare the green beer, noisemakers, lederhosen and fireworks!
Also getting a jump on things, I couldn't help but notice in the Wheels Extra section of our newspaper, they were running a blaring front page story about the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Now, I'm as much of a forward-thinker as anybody (oh, alright - I admit that I'm about as forward-thinking as your average Troglodyte, as I'm sure everyone can hear the derisive howls of laughter from my old friends the dinosaurs, even hundreds of millions of years later) but I feel compelled to point out that it's not even the first week in February 2010, and this is my idea of something that's about as premature as it gets. And it's not even like the excruciatingly horrific 2009, which everyone is still trying to wash the taste out of their mouths, so that skipping ahead to the next model year would make some sense and give people something to look forward to. Of course, the people at Jeep may know something the rest of us don't, but I have to say that if 2010 is planning to be worse than 2009, it's going to take a lot more than a new car to do any good.
Speaking of things that are no good, it was on Thursday that I left work as I usually do, and when I got to the parking lot, I unaccountably slipped on some ice and went down like a ton of bricks. Although I wasn't carrying anything in my hands at the time, there was nothing nearby to grasp onto, and of course I was weighed down with my 100-pound backpack, and nowhere to go but flat on the ground. Actually, when I started to lose my balance, it was like everything was happening in slow-motion, and I remember starting to collapse down vertically, so that I would be closer to the ground when I hit, rather than falling forward at full speed. I landed on my hands and knees, and managed to push backward to reverse my forward momentum so I wouldn't keep rolling forward and hit my head, especially since I was wearing my glasses at the time. Suddenly, it was like one of those cartoons, where the character is perched precariously in some untenable location, and the next thing that shows up is the anvil dropping out of the sky on them: still following that path of forward trajectory, along comes my 100-pound backpack from behind and slams me in the back of my head, and I don't mind saying, thanks oh so very much not. I still didn't hit my face, for which I was grateful for small favors, and I rolled over onto my hip so I could rub my knees, which weren't bleeding, but very painful, and not to mention, that pair of pantyhose will never be the same, believe me. I said to Bill that I felt like Abraham Lincoln, who once famously observed: "It hurts too much to laugh, and I'm too big to cry." At that point, the sensible thing to do would have been to put down my backpack, and grab onto the guardrail of the parking lot to pull myself up with, but apparently my brain had stopped working a while ago, so I didn't think of that until long afterward. So now I was sitting on the ground in the driveway of the parking lot, and anyone coming in from the street would have run me right over and never seen me, and I had not only gravity and my 100-pound backpack to overcome, but what I would usually use to help stand up with - my hands and knees - both hurt too much for that. First I checked around for no more ice, and then propped myself up on my fingertips and toes, and somehow got to my feet again and wobbled over to my car, and grateful to get there safely. Actually, I was glad that it didn't turn out to be a whole lot worse, and also lucky that I could count on Bill's careful ministrations, some pain relievers, an ice pack and mega-doses of junk food to help me feel better. I'm still sore, but at least my glasses are still in one piece, so I have much to be thankful for. But I'm thinking that I really have to stop carrying around that cartoon anvil.
And what could be new and exciting in the world of adult learning, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Fortunately, I have the Larchmont & Mamaroneck Continuing Education brochure for Spring 2010 (and you can just go right ahead to their web site at www.LMCCE.org and see for yourself) so I have the answers right here at my fingertips. You'll be glad to know, as I was, that besides their Creative Writing Workshops and 19 language classes, they also feature such diverse fare as Modern Crochet, Belly Dancing, Mah-jongg, Plan Your Next Life Chapter, Zumba Fitness, Online Social Networking, Mexican Tortillas and Salsas, Antiquing, Mastering Your Digital Camera, Basic Dog Obedience, plus Baby and Toddler CPR, although I have to say that I personally wouldn't trust a baby to give me CPR, thank you very much not. I couldn't help but be impressed with their numerous offerings in a sturdy 26-page brochure, which seemed to have something for just about everyone. The one that really got my attention was in the Arts & Crafts section, and would set you back $105 if you wanted to sign up for the 4-week course. It goes by the unlikely name of "Sew a Stylish 'Green' Tote Bag," and that seems to be the whole extent of the class, apart from also making a little pouch to hold your tote bag in. How they can stretch this out over four 2-hour classes is a mystery to me, being that a tote bag is pretty much like a pillowcase, and can be assembled by folding some fabric in half, sewing two seams and hemming the open edge, along with a drawstring to pull it closed. I couldn't make a one-hour class out of that, much less 8 hours, even throwing in the pouch, and charging a hundred dollars for it is astounding to me. It's especially incongruous in the brochure, being right next to another sewing course entitled "Sew a Silk Skirt with Paillettes," which is only one 2-hour class and costs $40, and you end up with a whole skirt that you can actually wear when you're done, unlike the hundred dollar pillowcase from the other course. I have to admit that I was thinking of springing for the $60 and signing up my old friends the dinosaurs for Assertive Communication Skills, but unfortunately, it's hundreds of millions of years too late for them, alas. And as much as I was tempted by their Memoir Writing Class, which I'm sure a hungry world is clamoring for, I'm afraid that I still have so much left to do to get ready for Banana Bread Day, and I just don't have time for anything else.
Elle
Happy (belated) Groundhog Day! I hope that you enjoyed a very wonderful holiday on Tuesday, in keeping with the true spirit of the occasion, and ground that hog, or hogged that ground, or whatever it is that we're supposed to do when the big day rolls around. My personal feeling is that there's no wrong way to celebrate a holiday, in spite of the Holiday Police, so I say you might as well go right ahead and break out the green beer, noisemakers, lederhosen and fireworks, not to mention the ubiquitous marshmallow Peeps, and party till the cows come home. Or at least the groundhogs, although I have to day that if they come home here, they'll have to bring their own Peeps, because I'm not sharing.
In other event news, of the more monumental variety, the wait is finally over, and we have arrived at the weekend that includes Super Bowl Sunday at long last. Of course, that means that the rest of the sports scene is pretty slim pickings, and all of the multitude of 24-hour sports channels are finding themselves with plenty of time on their hands and not much to cover. In fact, I just noticed that the mighty ESPN was reduced to showing high school basketball in prime time, and I know this because it was highlighted in the Best Bets of our TV listings, so that has to tell you something right there. Next it will be championship Tiddly Winks from the Nursery School League, with the sideline reporter doing an in-depth story on the toddler playing left tiddly. Except for the Super Bowl, the rest of February has such a dearth of sports that it's a wonder the government doesn't just step in and invent a sport for the month, to preserve the peace and keep an unruly populace from wholesale rioting. It certainly explains why the Romans cut the month short, so that we could get it out of the way and come to March Madness sooner, and don't forget, that was back when the Super Bowl was still being played in January.
Apart from sports, however, February does boast more than its share of eventful days, and not just Groundhog Day, not by a long shot. Of course, everyone knows that tomorrow is Waitangi Day, followed by the Super Bowl on Sunday. The following Sunday is not only Valentine's Day, beloved by romantics and merchants alike, but the beginning of Chinese New Year, and this will be the Year of the Tiger. Hard on the heels of that will be Mardi Gras on Tuesday, followed by Ash Wednesday, which ushers in the season of Lent, putting an end to all of this frivolity. Not so fast! There's still plenty more to celebrate in the month, which certainly packs a festive wallop for being the shortest month of the year. It goes without saying that February is Black History Month, and also boasts the birthdays of two famous Presidents, as well as Presidents Day to honor all the chief executives throughout the country's history, well, at least until recently, when there was not much worth celebrating in that office. There's also Candlemas on the 2nd, Umbrella Day on the 10th, Love Your Pet Day on the 21st and Polar Bear Day on the 27th. I think my favorite day of the month is the 20th, which they claim has no events or observances associated with it at all. Mind you, this calendar goes on to list other so-called events for the month such as Floral Design Day, Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day, Banana Bread Day, Ferris Wheel Day, Read to Your Child Day, Chocolate Mint Day, Clean out Your Computer Day, Thank a Mailman Day and Stuffed Mushroom Day, to name just a few. So for them to say that there is nothing happening on February 20th, by golly, that's got to set some kind of record for nothingness, compared to the stuff they have already listed. Personally, I think this is the kind of day that we can all rally around, and I propose that we nominate February 20th as Celebrate Nothing Day, and don't spare the green beer, noisemakers, lederhosen and fireworks!
Also getting a jump on things, I couldn't help but notice in the Wheels Extra section of our newspaper, they were running a blaring front page story about the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Now, I'm as much of a forward-thinker as anybody (oh, alright - I admit that I'm about as forward-thinking as your average Troglodyte, as I'm sure everyone can hear the derisive howls of laughter from my old friends the dinosaurs, even hundreds of millions of years later) but I feel compelled to point out that it's not even the first week in February 2010, and this is my idea of something that's about as premature as it gets. And it's not even like the excruciatingly horrific 2009, which everyone is still trying to wash the taste out of their mouths, so that skipping ahead to the next model year would make some sense and give people something to look forward to. Of course, the people at Jeep may know something the rest of us don't, but I have to say that if 2010 is planning to be worse than 2009, it's going to take a lot more than a new car to do any good.
Speaking of things that are no good, it was on Thursday that I left work as I usually do, and when I got to the parking lot, I unaccountably slipped on some ice and went down like a ton of bricks. Although I wasn't carrying anything in my hands at the time, there was nothing nearby to grasp onto, and of course I was weighed down with my 100-pound backpack, and nowhere to go but flat on the ground. Actually, when I started to lose my balance, it was like everything was happening in slow-motion, and I remember starting to collapse down vertically, so that I would be closer to the ground when I hit, rather than falling forward at full speed. I landed on my hands and knees, and managed to push backward to reverse my forward momentum so I wouldn't keep rolling forward and hit my head, especially since I was wearing my glasses at the time. Suddenly, it was like one of those cartoons, where the character is perched precariously in some untenable location, and the next thing that shows up is the anvil dropping out of the sky on them: still following that path of forward trajectory, along comes my 100-pound backpack from behind and slams me in the back of my head, and I don't mind saying, thanks oh so very much not. I still didn't hit my face, for which I was grateful for small favors, and I rolled over onto my hip so I could rub my knees, which weren't bleeding, but very painful, and not to mention, that pair of pantyhose will never be the same, believe me. I said to Bill that I felt like Abraham Lincoln, who once famously observed: "It hurts too much to laugh, and I'm too big to cry." At that point, the sensible thing to do would have been to put down my backpack, and grab onto the guardrail of the parking lot to pull myself up with, but apparently my brain had stopped working a while ago, so I didn't think of that until long afterward. So now I was sitting on the ground in the driveway of the parking lot, and anyone coming in from the street would have run me right over and never seen me, and I had not only gravity and my 100-pound backpack to overcome, but what I would usually use to help stand up with - my hands and knees - both hurt too much for that. First I checked around for no more ice, and then propped myself up on my fingertips and toes, and somehow got to my feet again and wobbled over to my car, and grateful to get there safely. Actually, I was glad that it didn't turn out to be a whole lot worse, and also lucky that I could count on Bill's careful ministrations, some pain relievers, an ice pack and mega-doses of junk food to help me feel better. I'm still sore, but at least my glasses are still in one piece, so I have much to be thankful for. But I'm thinking that I really have to stop carrying around that cartoon anvil.
And what could be new and exciting in the world of adult learning, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Fortunately, I have the Larchmont & Mamaroneck Continuing Education brochure for Spring 2010 (and you can just go right ahead to their web site at www.LMCCE.org and see for yourself) so I have the answers right here at my fingertips. You'll be glad to know, as I was, that besides their Creative Writing Workshops and 19 language classes, they also feature such diverse fare as Modern Crochet, Belly Dancing, Mah-jongg, Plan Your Next Life Chapter, Zumba Fitness, Online Social Networking, Mexican Tortillas and Salsas, Antiquing, Mastering Your Digital Camera, Basic Dog Obedience, plus Baby and Toddler CPR, although I have to say that I personally wouldn't trust a baby to give me CPR, thank you very much not. I couldn't help but be impressed with their numerous offerings in a sturdy 26-page brochure, which seemed to have something for just about everyone. The one that really got my attention was in the Arts & Crafts section, and would set you back $105 if you wanted to sign up for the 4-week course. It goes by the unlikely name of "Sew a Stylish 'Green' Tote Bag," and that seems to be the whole extent of the class, apart from also making a little pouch to hold your tote bag in. How they can stretch this out over four 2-hour classes is a mystery to me, being that a tote bag is pretty much like a pillowcase, and can be assembled by folding some fabric in half, sewing two seams and hemming the open edge, along with a drawstring to pull it closed. I couldn't make a one-hour class out of that, much less 8 hours, even throwing in the pouch, and charging a hundred dollars for it is astounding to me. It's especially incongruous in the brochure, being right next to another sewing course entitled "Sew a Silk Skirt with Paillettes," which is only one 2-hour class and costs $40, and you end up with a whole skirt that you can actually wear when you're done, unlike the hundred dollar pillowcase from the other course. I have to admit that I was thinking of springing for the $60 and signing up my old friends the dinosaurs for Assertive Communication Skills, but unfortunately, it's hundreds of millions of years too late for them, alas. And as much as I was tempted by their Memoir Writing Class, which I'm sure a hungry world is clamoring for, I'm afraid that I still have so much left to do to get ready for Banana Bread Day, and I just don't have time for anything else.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 9:46 PM
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