Paper Doll
Hello World,
Happy Thanksgiving! Of course, this is the time of year to be accommodating to any and all loose and wandering pilgrims that might cross your path, orphans cast adrift on the treacherous shoals of holiday hoopla, with nowhere to go and no one to go there with, in search of a warm welcome and all the trimmings. On the other hand, it's true that not everybody buys into the whole holiday hoopla idea, and might prefer warm sunny beaches over Tom Turkey, and no amount of cranberry sauce is going to entice them to your table, with all of your warm welcome falling on deaf ears. In spite of the Holiday Police, I still maintain that there is no wrong way to celebrate Thanksgiving, so whether you go the Norman Rockwell route, or march to the beat of a different drumstick, I hope you make the most of it and enjoy it to the very last drop, like whipped cream straight out of the can, not that I would know anything about that, you understand.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a happy Thanksgiving for everyone, especially in the local area, where they canceled the annual parade right out from under everybody, and just about at the last minute besides, thanks not. The parade is a time-honored tradition going back generations, featuring floats and fire engines, school bands and scout troops, real clowns and politicians who only act like clowns, baton twirlers, Masons, mounted Police, stilt walkers, veterans, bagpipe bands, jugglers, and the jolly old elf himself, Santa Claus in his sleigh ushering in the official start of the Christmas season. They usually have it the Saturday before Thanksgiving, so it's easy for families to attend, since it's not on the holiday itself, when they would have other things to do at the time. It's always very popular, except perhaps with anyone trying to drive across town in the morning, when the roads are closed for the parade, and all you can do is wait it out until it's over. This year, they announced that it would be on Wednesday night at 6:30 PM, and right from the start, I thought that Thanksgiving eve would be a bad time for a parade, not only pitch black and probably cold, but like people wouldn't already have a million other things they needed to be doing to get ready the night before the holiday. Apparently I wasn't the only person who didn't rally around this new and unimproved parade idea, because shortly after that, there was a press release from the Chamber of Commerce to the effect that the parade was canceled due to a lack of participants and sponsors signing up for it. So just like Christopher Columbus and Armistice Day before it, here goes the fabled New Rochelle Thanksgiving Parade tossed unceremoniously on the trash heap of history, and more's the pity, I'm sure. Now, I ask you, how is anyone going to know that Christmas is coming, without the Santa Claus float to kick off the holiday season in style?
Of course, everyone knows that for the new kid on the FaceBook block, I've certainly shot to the top of the charts in terms of games and other frivolous applications. I already have three farms, two zoos, a garden, a restaurant, an amusement park, an apartment, a fish pond, a bar and a virtual pet, as well as being in two mobs. I'm at the point now where if I start anything else, I will have to quit my job, and it's only a lucky thing that I have come to realize that sleep is over-rated. Some of the games, like Mafia Wars, can be very competitive and being played online by serious gamers all over the world, while others like Sorority Life are simply enjoyed just for the fun of it. Or so I thought! When I was having a problem re-arranging my virtual pet's furniture in Pet Society, I checked out some fan forums for help, and I was astounded at the comments that I found posted. There were literally hundreds of entries, from every corner of the globe, desperately seeking "cheat codes" for accumulating vast quantities of play coins in Pet Society, and illicit ways to climb up through the different levels much faster than it would be possible under the normal rules of the game. Mind you, Pet Society is not structured to be a highly competitive game like Mafia Wars, it's more a virtual community where you go and play with your pet, visit other pets that you know there, and trick out your little friend with the latest duds, decor and gadgets, or whatever you can afford with the play coins that you have at the time. It would never occur to me that people would try to cheat at this, but apparently there are those, and plenty of them, who are so obsessed with acquiring every single thing that the game has to offer, that they've gotten completely out of control over it. I said to Bill that this would be like trying to cheat at Barbie dolls, because this is more like playing around in a virtual Dream Home or a sand box, than fighting your way to the top of a game where you actually win anything. Actually, that was closer to the mark than I thought, as I realized when I saw the new issue of PC World magazine, and The Name Game quiz that challenged readers to Match The Code Name To The Final Product for technology gadgets like the Wii (Revolution) and Segway (Ginger) among others, Sure enough, one of the products was The Sims, the original cyber community for people to create virtual characters and interact with other users online, where work and play and romance and commerce could flourish in idyllic splendor, or instead turn toxic and acrimonious just like real life. The developers of The Sims knew what they were doing when they came up with the original code name for the product: "Dollhouse Simulator." Ya gotta love it.
Meanwhile at work, I needed to contact one of our vendors about an order for a personalized stamp that we had ordered a few weeks ago, but never received. This happens to be a very small local company run by a nice family that we have done business with for many years, and when I called, they said I needed to speak with Joann, who would be able to tell me when we could expect the stamp to be delivered. Unfortunately, she wasn't there on Monday, so I said I would call back on Tuesday and left it at that. I called again on Tuesday morning, a little after 9:00, only to find that she wasn't in yet, so once again, I said I would call back later. I waited until 10:30 to call back again, and I admit that I was somewhat taken aback when the same nice gentleman told me that she still wasn't in yet. "Of course, she's my wife, so I can't yell at her," he explained. "You could yell at her, but I can't. In fact, I'd throw the stamp in for free, if you yell at my wife." I laughed.
Also at work, everyone realizes that I've been working at the employer of last resort for 20 years now, and in the Purchasing department the whole time, so it should come as a surprise to no one that the hospital apparently has opened up a new nursing unit entirely behind my back and without Purchasing having the slightest awareness of what was going on, which you would think would be impossible, but obviously not. In fact, if a co-worker who spotted it on the 3rd floor hadn't mentioned it to me, I might never have found out about it at all. Usually, they open new units with a bit more fanfare, inviting local dignitaries to the ribbon cutting ceremonies, and having their pictures in the newspaper. One thing that never seems to change is that the hospital administration, in its infinite wisdom, somehow manages to come up with the world's most horrible name for any new treatment area, so that you just want to crawl under a rock when they announce it. We have a specialized oncology unit, using up-to-the-minute technology and a multi-disciplinary approach, to help patients and their families with serious illness, which they have saddled with the funereal name of The Cancer Center, and thanks so very much not. Then there's the state-of-the-art and multi-modality facility for women's health issues, with the unseemly title of The Breast Center, and which we all call The Boob Center, after the boobs who dreamed that up. So when I heard that we had a new bariatric orthopedic area, for specialized joint surgery on obese patients, I couldn't help but feel that it would no doubt be christened The Fat Cripple Unit, or FCU for short. When I shared this observation with a colleague, he laughed so hard that I thought he was going to break something, and he's been working there twice as long as I have, so he's no stranger to these decisions of last resort, by golly.
Speaking of bad names, I admit that I have no explanation for the following. I don't know if it's because the weather has continued to be so mild so late in the year or what, but I've heard of more people getting kittens lately than I would have expected at this time. Even our friends upstate picked up a pair from the shelter, Pumpkin and Zoe, long after I would have assumed that kitten season had been well and truly over after the summer, but apparently not. One happy family brought home a brand new kitten and were so excited that they had to tell me all about it, and I was trying to be polite, so I asked what color it was, and found out that it was solid black all over. That prompted me to ask what they named the kitten, since that shade would easily inspire a countless variety of clever names, besides the ordinary tried-and-true ideas. I admit that I was not prepared for their answer, which was unaccountably: "Tabby." (???) Excuse me??? I realize there are no standards anymore, heaven knows, but I think it should be against some sort of International Naming Convention to give a black cat an incomprehensible name like Tabby, of all things. It's true that I was expecting an unimaginative name like Blackie, instead of something more adventurous like Pepper or Shadow or even Charcoal, but nothing would have prepared me for Tabby in a million years. I said that when we had two black cats, one was called Smokey and the other Captain Midnight, and they thought they were both great names, but added that their other choice had been Tigger, which somehow manages to make even less sense than Tabby, if that's possible. At that point, I gave it up as a lost cause, and wished them well with their solid black Tabby, figuring at least they didn't come up with an even worse name, like Snowflake or Spot. After all, you may be able to get away with that in the real world, but by golly, if you tried something like that in Pet Society, believe me, you'd get thrown right out of the dollhouse.
Elle
Happy Thanksgiving! Of course, this is the time of year to be accommodating to any and all loose and wandering pilgrims that might cross your path, orphans cast adrift on the treacherous shoals of holiday hoopla, with nowhere to go and no one to go there with, in search of a warm welcome and all the trimmings. On the other hand, it's true that not everybody buys into the whole holiday hoopla idea, and might prefer warm sunny beaches over Tom Turkey, and no amount of cranberry sauce is going to entice them to your table, with all of your warm welcome falling on deaf ears. In spite of the Holiday Police, I still maintain that there is no wrong way to celebrate Thanksgiving, so whether you go the Norman Rockwell route, or march to the beat of a different drumstick, I hope you make the most of it and enjoy it to the very last drop, like whipped cream straight out of the can, not that I would know anything about that, you understand.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a happy Thanksgiving for everyone, especially in the local area, where they canceled the annual parade right out from under everybody, and just about at the last minute besides, thanks not. The parade is a time-honored tradition going back generations, featuring floats and fire engines, school bands and scout troops, real clowns and politicians who only act like clowns, baton twirlers, Masons, mounted Police, stilt walkers, veterans, bagpipe bands, jugglers, and the jolly old elf himself, Santa Claus in his sleigh ushering in the official start of the Christmas season. They usually have it the Saturday before Thanksgiving, so it's easy for families to attend, since it's not on the holiday itself, when they would have other things to do at the time. It's always very popular, except perhaps with anyone trying to drive across town in the morning, when the roads are closed for the parade, and all you can do is wait it out until it's over. This year, they announced that it would be on Wednesday night at 6:30 PM, and right from the start, I thought that Thanksgiving eve would be a bad time for a parade, not only pitch black and probably cold, but like people wouldn't already have a million other things they needed to be doing to get ready the night before the holiday. Apparently I wasn't the only person who didn't rally around this new and unimproved parade idea, because shortly after that, there was a press release from the Chamber of Commerce to the effect that the parade was canceled due to a lack of participants and sponsors signing up for it. So just like Christopher Columbus and Armistice Day before it, here goes the fabled New Rochelle Thanksgiving Parade tossed unceremoniously on the trash heap of history, and more's the pity, I'm sure. Now, I ask you, how is anyone going to know that Christmas is coming, without the Santa Claus float to kick off the holiday season in style?
Of course, everyone knows that for the new kid on the FaceBook block, I've certainly shot to the top of the charts in terms of games and other frivolous applications. I already have three farms, two zoos, a garden, a restaurant, an amusement park, an apartment, a fish pond, a bar and a virtual pet, as well as being in two mobs. I'm at the point now where if I start anything else, I will have to quit my job, and it's only a lucky thing that I have come to realize that sleep is over-rated. Some of the games, like Mafia Wars, can be very competitive and being played online by serious gamers all over the world, while others like Sorority Life are simply enjoyed just for the fun of it. Or so I thought! When I was having a problem re-arranging my virtual pet's furniture in Pet Society, I checked out some fan forums for help, and I was astounded at the comments that I found posted. There were literally hundreds of entries, from every corner of the globe, desperately seeking "cheat codes" for accumulating vast quantities of play coins in Pet Society, and illicit ways to climb up through the different levels much faster than it would be possible under the normal rules of the game. Mind you, Pet Society is not structured to be a highly competitive game like Mafia Wars, it's more a virtual community where you go and play with your pet, visit other pets that you know there, and trick out your little friend with the latest duds, decor and gadgets, or whatever you can afford with the play coins that you have at the time. It would never occur to me that people would try to cheat at this, but apparently there are those, and plenty of them, who are so obsessed with acquiring every single thing that the game has to offer, that they've gotten completely out of control over it. I said to Bill that this would be like trying to cheat at Barbie dolls, because this is more like playing around in a virtual Dream Home or a sand box, than fighting your way to the top of a game where you actually win anything. Actually, that was closer to the mark than I thought, as I realized when I saw the new issue of PC World magazine, and The Name Game quiz that challenged readers to Match The Code Name To The Final Product for technology gadgets like the Wii (Revolution) and Segway (Ginger) among others, Sure enough, one of the products was The Sims, the original cyber community for people to create virtual characters and interact with other users online, where work and play and romance and commerce could flourish in idyllic splendor, or instead turn toxic and acrimonious just like real life. The developers of The Sims knew what they were doing when they came up with the original code name for the product: "Dollhouse Simulator." Ya gotta love it.
Meanwhile at work, I needed to contact one of our vendors about an order for a personalized stamp that we had ordered a few weeks ago, but never received. This happens to be a very small local company run by a nice family that we have done business with for many years, and when I called, they said I needed to speak with Joann, who would be able to tell me when we could expect the stamp to be delivered. Unfortunately, she wasn't there on Monday, so I said I would call back on Tuesday and left it at that. I called again on Tuesday morning, a little after 9:00, only to find that she wasn't in yet, so once again, I said I would call back later. I waited until 10:30 to call back again, and I admit that I was somewhat taken aback when the same nice gentleman told me that she still wasn't in yet. "Of course, she's my wife, so I can't yell at her," he explained. "You could yell at her, but I can't. In fact, I'd throw the stamp in for free, if you yell at my wife." I laughed.
Also at work, everyone realizes that I've been working at the employer of last resort for 20 years now, and in the Purchasing department the whole time, so it should come as a surprise to no one that the hospital apparently has opened up a new nursing unit entirely behind my back and without Purchasing having the slightest awareness of what was going on, which you would think would be impossible, but obviously not. In fact, if a co-worker who spotted it on the 3rd floor hadn't mentioned it to me, I might never have found out about it at all. Usually, they open new units with a bit more fanfare, inviting local dignitaries to the ribbon cutting ceremonies, and having their pictures in the newspaper. One thing that never seems to change is that the hospital administration, in its infinite wisdom, somehow manages to come up with the world's most horrible name for any new treatment area, so that you just want to crawl under a rock when they announce it. We have a specialized oncology unit, using up-to-the-minute technology and a multi-disciplinary approach, to help patients and their families with serious illness, which they have saddled with the funereal name of The Cancer Center, and thanks so very much not. Then there's the state-of-the-art and multi-modality facility for women's health issues, with the unseemly title of The Breast Center, and which we all call The Boob Center, after the boobs who dreamed that up. So when I heard that we had a new bariatric orthopedic area, for specialized joint surgery on obese patients, I couldn't help but feel that it would no doubt be christened The Fat Cripple Unit, or FCU for short. When I shared this observation with a colleague, he laughed so hard that I thought he was going to break something, and he's been working there twice as long as I have, so he's no stranger to these decisions of last resort, by golly.
Speaking of bad names, I admit that I have no explanation for the following. I don't know if it's because the weather has continued to be so mild so late in the year or what, but I've heard of more people getting kittens lately than I would have expected at this time. Even our friends upstate picked up a pair from the shelter, Pumpkin and Zoe, long after I would have assumed that kitten season had been well and truly over after the summer, but apparently not. One happy family brought home a brand new kitten and were so excited that they had to tell me all about it, and I was trying to be polite, so I asked what color it was, and found out that it was solid black all over. That prompted me to ask what they named the kitten, since that shade would easily inspire a countless variety of clever names, besides the ordinary tried-and-true ideas. I admit that I was not prepared for their answer, which was unaccountably: "Tabby." (???) Excuse me??? I realize there are no standards anymore, heaven knows, but I think it should be against some sort of International Naming Convention to give a black cat an incomprehensible name like Tabby, of all things. It's true that I was expecting an unimaginative name like Blackie, instead of something more adventurous like Pepper or Shadow or even Charcoal, but nothing would have prepared me for Tabby in a million years. I said that when we had two black cats, one was called Smokey and the other Captain Midnight, and they thought they were both great names, but added that their other choice had been Tigger, which somehow manages to make even less sense than Tabby, if that's possible. At that point, I gave it up as a lost cause, and wished them well with their solid black Tabby, figuring at least they didn't come up with an even worse name, like Snowflake or Spot. After all, you may be able to get away with that in the real world, but by golly, if you tried something like that in Pet Society, believe me, you'd get thrown right out of the dollhouse.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 7:04 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home