Flower Power
Hello World,
And so here we find ourselves already on the other side of Easter, even Greek Orthodox Easter, which I believe coincided with Easter for the rest of the Christian world this year, and I hope that the Easter Bunny stopped by on his rounds at the appropriate time and place, and left baskets of goodies in his wake. There were certainly no complaints here, as our holiday baskets revealed treats of every description, including candy, snacks, housewares and even clothing. We gave high marks to the Bunny for originality and ingenuity, and that's not just the Cadbury Creme Eggs talking, believe me.
Our original plans for Easter had earlier fallen through, when a relative became ill and was not up to visitors, so that idea had to be scrapped. We made do by visiting my sister on Long Island, and it was a beautiful day for that, as warm and sunny as anyone could want, and twice as welcome after the long cold winter which clutched us in its icy grip. We went to the diner for lunch, which is always nice, and they had just recently re-opened after extensive renovations, so it was even more interesting than usual. After that, we ran some errands, since all of the stores are open nowadays regardless of the occasion, unlike years past when religious holidays were sacrosanct, and you couldn't go shopping if your life depended on it. It turned into a kind of a long day full of wild goose chases, where we tramped from store to store not finding what we were looking for, and the wild geese didn't think much of it either, by golly. But since we had missed getting together for our birthdays last month, there were belated birthday presents to open and enjoy, and everyone knows that a little of that goes a long way with me, so the day was not a total loss after all, and that's also not just the Cadbury Creme Eggs talking, believe me.
Between Good Friday and the Monday after Easter off from work, I wound up with two short weeks in a row, and on top of the computer problems I was already having, it quickly became a situation that was ready to spiral out of control, with the unfortunate consequence that people saw a lot more of my Evil Twin over the course of those two weeks, than the sane and accommodating person who usually works in that office, and I ought to know. It was also the first week of the new baseball season, which had its ups and downs, as so often happens, and is often wildly non-representative of how the rest of the season will play out for any particular team. Some of them, like the Phillies, leaped out in front with a 7-1 start, while other sank like a stone, or bobbed in the murky undercurrents of mediocrity, like the Mets, whose 3-6 record has given their legion of disappointed fans no reason to forget last year's summer of futility, try as they might. In other sports news, the hockey season finally lurched to a close, with the Rangers being eliminated on the last day in the shoot-out against the dratted Flyers, which was a heartbreaking end to a dismal season, which no amount of off-season player moves might hope to rectify at this point. Personally, I believe when a team finishes out of the playoffs, instead of trading the players as they always do, the team should trade their owners and managers, and I wouldn't be surprised if this simple alteration could usher in a whole new Golden Age of Sports in this country in no time.
On the local scene, I realize that I spoke too soon when I said that there weren't any dandelions yet, because they certainly were out in force in our backyard, and not a bit shy about showing off their golden yellow petals for all the world to see, or at least, that part of the world that spends any time in our backyard anyway. I also spotted multitudes of violets popping out in the driveway, which I thought was way too early, but apparently I was alone in that opinion, for there they all were, big as life and twice as lovely. It's apparently also not too early for star flowers and bleeding heart, because ours were busting out all over, and not shivering in the shadows in their long-johns and ear muffs, not by any means. But I was surprised to see, when I was outside taking pictures, a few very early English wood hyacinths, while the rest of their less exuberant compatriots will be following along in another couple of weeks or so. Also while I was taking pictures, I did indeed stumble across the first of our rampant alien mutant poison ivy in the backyard, and standing straight up like a bush as it does, in spite of what the botanical experts will tell you, and thank you so very much not. But one of our lilacs is open already, bestowing its heady fragrance like a goodwill ambassador, while the lamium has spread forth a veritable carpet of sunny yellow flowers that are a delight to behold. So that pretty much rounds out the usual landscaping cast of characters for this time of year, except to mention an inordinate number of large bumblebees, who have no business being out this early, which is obvious from the fact that you either find them flying around aimlessly inside the house, or walking around outside with a sort of dazed and confused look about them. Sort of like the Mets, only without the cleats.
Speaking of dazed and confused, last week at church, we were having a particularly hectic morning before the worship service began, with people running every which way to get things set up, and frantic whisperings of last minute instructions, along with elaborate pantomimes and gestures to convey meanings that could not be explained in words. It was already past the time that worship should have started, and since the prelude had long since been finished, the organist was doing an admirable job at vamping until we got our act together, and could collect ourselves to get underway with the business at hand. All of this hullabaloo caused our interim pastor to quip: "People who are always complaining about organized religion should come to see us here at Holy Trinity, we're about as disorganized as a religion can get!" He may be on to something there.
Meanwhile, what may be new and exciting in the world of household utilities, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Luckily, we have the Con Edison Customer News to keep us up-to-date on the latest developments in electricity, natural gas, steam, and other energy options. The breezy News comes as an insert with our monthly bill, and I have to admit that I have never found it very interesting, and rarely give it more than a cursory once-over before it's on its way to the recycling basket. But on the newest one, I couldn't help but notice this arresting headline:
Manhattan Walk-in Center Moves
Here I'm thinking, I guess if you have a "walk-in center," you can't be surprised if it does move. After all, if it did walk in, there's no reason that it can't just turn around and walk right on out again, and you'd be left with an empty space and wondering where it all went wrong. I didn't read the whole story (actually, I couildn't read it even if I wanted to, because it was in tiny fuzzy gray type on a green background) so I don't know if they ever found their errant Center again, but I've got a tip for them. They should rename it the Manhattan Stationary Center instead, and then at least they would be sure that it would stay put.
Also not saying what they mean, we have our friends at Asian Power Devices Inc., and their Important Safety Instructions for a computer peripheral that I just got at work. Just their name alone sounds like someone's idea of a bad joke, not to mention an easy target, but if I was going to choose that name, I would be scrupulous that my Important Safety Instructions would provide no opportunity for ridicule over typos or inapt translation miscues. I thought they were doing pretty good in the beginning, with short simple sentences like "Keep these instructions" and "Heed all warnings" and "Clean only with dry cloth." I was perfectly willing to let it slide when they had some inadvertent spacing issues, and came out with some odd looking combinations such as, "Apolarizedplug" and "manufacturer' sinstructions" and "when a car ti sused," or my personal favorite, "theo bsolete outlet." I wasn't even going to call attention to their alert about tampering with the case, although without any punctuation, their warning "Do not open the equipment to reduce the risk of electrical shock" sounds like exactly the opposite of what they intended. I was perfectly fine with all of this and prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt, until I got to the very last item on the page, #19 which states: "The mains plug is used as the disconnecting device and shall remain readily operable." Well, now I'm sorry, but that is not only bad English and makes no sense, but I'm not even in the ballpark as to what they were trying to convey with that, and I already understand safety instructions pretty well as it is. So to our translation-challenged friends at APDI, I give an E for effort, but my advice is to leave off that last one, and just hope that it wasn't a really critical safety feature, if the mains plug is not readily operable. Personally, I would blame it on the manufacturer' sinstructions (which sounds like the kind of thing you would expect to get from disorganized religion) and feel free to go right ahead and tell them I sent you -
Theo Bsolete Outlet
And so here we find ourselves already on the other side of Easter, even Greek Orthodox Easter, which I believe coincided with Easter for the rest of the Christian world this year, and I hope that the Easter Bunny stopped by on his rounds at the appropriate time and place, and left baskets of goodies in his wake. There were certainly no complaints here, as our holiday baskets revealed treats of every description, including candy, snacks, housewares and even clothing. We gave high marks to the Bunny for originality and ingenuity, and that's not just the Cadbury Creme Eggs talking, believe me.
Our original plans for Easter had earlier fallen through, when a relative became ill and was not up to visitors, so that idea had to be scrapped. We made do by visiting my sister on Long Island, and it was a beautiful day for that, as warm and sunny as anyone could want, and twice as welcome after the long cold winter which clutched us in its icy grip. We went to the diner for lunch, which is always nice, and they had just recently re-opened after extensive renovations, so it was even more interesting than usual. After that, we ran some errands, since all of the stores are open nowadays regardless of the occasion, unlike years past when religious holidays were sacrosanct, and you couldn't go shopping if your life depended on it. It turned into a kind of a long day full of wild goose chases, where we tramped from store to store not finding what we were looking for, and the wild geese didn't think much of it either, by golly. But since we had missed getting together for our birthdays last month, there were belated birthday presents to open and enjoy, and everyone knows that a little of that goes a long way with me, so the day was not a total loss after all, and that's also not just the Cadbury Creme Eggs talking, believe me.
Between Good Friday and the Monday after Easter off from work, I wound up with two short weeks in a row, and on top of the computer problems I was already having, it quickly became a situation that was ready to spiral out of control, with the unfortunate consequence that people saw a lot more of my Evil Twin over the course of those two weeks, than the sane and accommodating person who usually works in that office, and I ought to know. It was also the first week of the new baseball season, which had its ups and downs, as so often happens, and is often wildly non-representative of how the rest of the season will play out for any particular team. Some of them, like the Phillies, leaped out in front with a 7-1 start, while other sank like a stone, or bobbed in the murky undercurrents of mediocrity, like the Mets, whose 3-6 record has given their legion of disappointed fans no reason to forget last year's summer of futility, try as they might. In other sports news, the hockey season finally lurched to a close, with the Rangers being eliminated on the last day in the shoot-out against the dratted Flyers, which was a heartbreaking end to a dismal season, which no amount of off-season player moves might hope to rectify at this point. Personally, I believe when a team finishes out of the playoffs, instead of trading the players as they always do, the team should trade their owners and managers, and I wouldn't be surprised if this simple alteration could usher in a whole new Golden Age of Sports in this country in no time.
On the local scene, I realize that I spoke too soon when I said that there weren't any dandelions yet, because they certainly were out in force in our backyard, and not a bit shy about showing off their golden yellow petals for all the world to see, or at least, that part of the world that spends any time in our backyard anyway. I also spotted multitudes of violets popping out in the driveway, which I thought was way too early, but apparently I was alone in that opinion, for there they all were, big as life and twice as lovely. It's apparently also not too early for star flowers and bleeding heart, because ours were busting out all over, and not shivering in the shadows in their long-johns and ear muffs, not by any means. But I was surprised to see, when I was outside taking pictures, a few very early English wood hyacinths, while the rest of their less exuberant compatriots will be following along in another couple of weeks or so. Also while I was taking pictures, I did indeed stumble across the first of our rampant alien mutant poison ivy in the backyard, and standing straight up like a bush as it does, in spite of what the botanical experts will tell you, and thank you so very much not. But one of our lilacs is open already, bestowing its heady fragrance like a goodwill ambassador, while the lamium has spread forth a veritable carpet of sunny yellow flowers that are a delight to behold. So that pretty much rounds out the usual landscaping cast of characters for this time of year, except to mention an inordinate number of large bumblebees, who have no business being out this early, which is obvious from the fact that you either find them flying around aimlessly inside the house, or walking around outside with a sort of dazed and confused look about them. Sort of like the Mets, only without the cleats.
Speaking of dazed and confused, last week at church, we were having a particularly hectic morning before the worship service began, with people running every which way to get things set up, and frantic whisperings of last minute instructions, along with elaborate pantomimes and gestures to convey meanings that could not be explained in words. It was already past the time that worship should have started, and since the prelude had long since been finished, the organist was doing an admirable job at vamping until we got our act together, and could collect ourselves to get underway with the business at hand. All of this hullabaloo caused our interim pastor to quip: "People who are always complaining about organized religion should come to see us here at Holy Trinity, we're about as disorganized as a religion can get!" He may be on to something there.
Meanwhile, what may be new and exciting in the world of household utilities, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Luckily, we have the Con Edison Customer News to keep us up-to-date on the latest developments in electricity, natural gas, steam, and other energy options. The breezy News comes as an insert with our monthly bill, and I have to admit that I have never found it very interesting, and rarely give it more than a cursory once-over before it's on its way to the recycling basket. But on the newest one, I couldn't help but notice this arresting headline:
Manhattan Walk-in Center Moves
Here I'm thinking, I guess if you have a "walk-in center," you can't be surprised if it does move. After all, if it did walk in, there's no reason that it can't just turn around and walk right on out again, and you'd be left with an empty space and wondering where it all went wrong. I didn't read the whole story (actually, I couildn't read it even if I wanted to, because it was in tiny fuzzy gray type on a green background) so I don't know if they ever found their errant Center again, but I've got a tip for them. They should rename it the Manhattan Stationary Center instead, and then at least they would be sure that it would stay put.
Also not saying what they mean, we have our friends at Asian Power Devices Inc., and their Important Safety Instructions for a computer peripheral that I just got at work. Just their name alone sounds like someone's idea of a bad joke, not to mention an easy target, but if I was going to choose that name, I would be scrupulous that my Important Safety Instructions would provide no opportunity for ridicule over typos or inapt translation miscues. I thought they were doing pretty good in the beginning, with short simple sentences like "Keep these instructions" and "Heed all warnings" and "Clean only with dry cloth." I was perfectly willing to let it slide when they had some inadvertent spacing issues, and came out with some odd looking combinations such as, "Apolarizedplug" and "manufacturer' sinstructions" and "when a car ti sused," or my personal favorite, "theo bsolete outlet." I wasn't even going to call attention to their alert about tampering with the case, although without any punctuation, their warning "Do not open the equipment to reduce the risk of electrical shock" sounds like exactly the opposite of what they intended. I was perfectly fine with all of this and prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt, until I got to the very last item on the page, #19 which states: "The mains plug is used as the disconnecting device and shall remain readily operable." Well, now I'm sorry, but that is not only bad English and makes no sense, but I'm not even in the ballpark as to what they were trying to convey with that, and I already understand safety instructions pretty well as it is. So to our translation-challenged friends at APDI, I give an E for effort, but my advice is to leave off that last one, and just hope that it wasn't a really critical safety feature, if the mains plug is not readily operable. Personally, I would blame it on the manufacturer' sinstructions (which sounds like the kind of thing you would expect to get from disorganized religion) and feel free to go right ahead and tell them I sent you -
Theo Bsolete Outlet
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 8:59 PM
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