Watch Your Step
Hello World,
Feliz (tardio) Cinco de Mayo! Wednesday was the time for everyone to get their Napoleon Complex on, and join with our Mexican brothers and sisters everywhere in commemorating the historic Battle of the Puebla, and all that it stands for. Who can ever forget that immortal day, when the plucky but outnumbered forces of the Ponderosa fended off the invading robot clone army of the Klingons at the historic Bridge on the River Kwai, and long may she wave, muchachos. Hmm, that doesn't sound quite right somehow, but I'm pretty sure that it had something to do with fighting and foreigners, and I'm quite certain that it was historic, so you could probably look it up and get the scoop, the whole scoop, and nothing but the scoop, so help me Bonaparte. Or as they said in the Little Colonel's kitchen after the bomb went off, "Linoleum Blownapart."
Of course, we all know that Memorial Day has turned into a movable feast, heaven knows, being observed on whatever is the last Monday of May, not on May 30 as it always was, back in its Decoration Day heyday, hi-dee-ho. Now it's as slippery as a quick-fingered pickpocket, and you really have to be on your toes to keep up with it, as it shifts around furtively from year to year, like some unwanted relative trying to borrow money. The purists among us have become resigned to this constant inconstancy, where nothing stays where you expect it, and every year ushers in a whole new set of challenges trying to pin down the holidays to their respective dates for that year only. It's bad enough with events such as Easter and Thanksgiving, which unlike Memorial Day, have never had one particular day associated with them in the first place. But I can safely say that I would not have expected the same old thing from Cinco de Mayo, which after all, is called the Fifth of May for a reason, and not just for the heck of it, so you would think that people who wanted to celebrate the occasion would at least do it on the right day. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw in the newspaper last week, that the city of Yonkers had already celebrated Cinco de Mayo on the last weekend in April, which was not even May first, complete with pictures of the parade, folk dancers, mariachi bands and schoolchildren in native costumes. Talk about a surprise attack - they beat Napoleon's army at the Battle of the Puebla two weeks before the Mexican troops ever got there, and don't forget, I've got the pictures to prove it.
Anyone who uses FaceBook can tell you it's not for the faint-hearted, especially not lately, as a nasty combination of performance issues, connectivity problems and program glitches have turned it into a woeful experience that is more flop than fab, so that the only consistent thing about it is how frustrating it is. The games and applications have been particularly hard hit, but also sending private messages has become an exercise in futility, and even just plain posting comments has been a very hit-or-miss proposition at best, and it's rarely been at its best. It was during this period of intermittent functionality that all of my games acted up, although not all in the same way. For instance, in Cafe World whenever you go back to the game, it displays a clipboard that usually says something like "Welcome back, you made 29,475 coins while you were away," because the game continues to serve meals when you're not there, until they run out, and you can make anywhere from 15,000 to 60,000 coins without even being near your computer at the time. So when I went to the game earlier in the week, and it greeted me with: "Welcome back, you made 523, 89, 100, 000, 000, 006" I knew that the snafu trolls were at it again, because that certainly wasn't what they meant, since in fact, it didn't even mean anything. I may not know how to cook, but I can spot a bogus number when I see one, by golly.
Speaking of new technology, I'm sure that everyone will be glad to hear that the fast-food behemoth, McDonald's, has jumped aboard the information superhighway bandwagon, as it were, and opened its golden arches at Twitter, presumably where food, folks and fun can meet and greet, in 140 characters or less. They actually describe it this way: "We're excited about joining the community and look forward to getting to know you too. Follow us for the latest McDonald's news, promotions and a few surprises along the way from our Communications teams." Of course, you can feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at [ http://www.aboutmcdonalds.com/mcd/media_center/mcdnlds_twttr_cntcts_092509.html ] and see for yourself. The Media Center page is entitled "Meet the Tweeps: @McDonalds Twitter Team," and introduces us to a cadre of fresh young faces and their ideas for using the power of Twitter to enhance our appreciation of everyone's favorite happy meal haven. (Personally, I would have to say that being called a "Tweep" would tend to have a dampening effect on my enthusiasm for the whole project, but that's just me, and I'm well known as a Luddite, and not even a McLuddite, at that.) So if you've had enough of burgers and fries, you can jump right in and check your Twitter account for the latest McTweets, with all of the up-to-the-minute details of the famous franchise's happenings. Tell them the Hamburglar sent you.
In other pop culture news, we have a blast from the past resurfacing to claim our attention, after a year out of the spotlight, at least for most of us, even though it was right where we left it. The 136th Kentucky Derby was last Saturday, and once again, the big story was the media darling of last year's quasi Triple Crown, veteran jockey Calvin Borel, this time aboard Super Saver, whose 8-1 odds made it the second favorite of the field. After the favorite Eskendereya was scratched with a leg injury, Lookin At Lucky's 6-1 odds tied it for the longest odds with only one other horse in the entire history of the Run for the Roses, so there was no runaway shoo-in for the top spot, like Rachel Alexandra last year. In spite of the conditions, Borel won his third Derby in four years, thanks to Super Saver putting it away handily with a 2-1/2 length lead over Ice Box, on a soggy track that might have been more suited to bikini models mud wrestling than thoroughbreds trying to run a horse race. Of course, that might have scandalized the traditionalists at historic Churchill Downs, but no doubt would have been a big hit with the ad sponsors, I'm thinking.
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have historically had my ups and downs as far as wearing watches over the years, where not only my funky novelty watches, but even sensible sturdy watches would work well for a while and then just stop, with no rhyme or reason, or accidents like being dropped or getting wet. Even worse, they would often develop a maddening inconsistency so that they would sometimes work and sometimes not, which is a decided drawback in watches, where you depend on them unequivocally to be the right time, all the time, and every time, and no excuses. So I would have to say that it came as no surprise when I took my watch out of my bag Friday morning at work to put it on, and found that it was not only the wrong time, but stopped as well, thanks not. Hoping for the best, I reset the time and tapped on it, but it wouldn't start, which I could tell by the sweep second hand not moving. I shook it and pushed the stem in and out trying to coax it back to life, but it was no dice on all counts, and I finally gave it up as a lost cause and figured that it must need a new battery. Fortunately, I had another watch with me, which is the kind of thing you do when you have this sort of pernicious effect on watches, so I was able to wear that one all day and at least keep in step with the rest of humanity, instead of wandering around lost in my own little "no-time" zone of oblivion. When I came home, I decided to take the stopped watch out of my bag, until I could get a new battery for it, only to find that it was running fine and had exactly the right time, which you would think would be impossible, except that I saw it with my own eyes. I know it's just toying with me, but by golly, two can play that game. Next time it tries that, I'm going to see what it thinks about mud wrestling, and believe me, I've got the bikini and I'm not afraid to use it.
Elle
Feliz (tardio) Cinco de Mayo! Wednesday was the time for everyone to get their Napoleon Complex on, and join with our Mexican brothers and sisters everywhere in commemorating the historic Battle of the Puebla, and all that it stands for. Who can ever forget that immortal day, when the plucky but outnumbered forces of the Ponderosa fended off the invading robot clone army of the Klingons at the historic Bridge on the River Kwai, and long may she wave, muchachos. Hmm, that doesn't sound quite right somehow, but I'm pretty sure that it had something to do with fighting and foreigners, and I'm quite certain that it was historic, so you could probably look it up and get the scoop, the whole scoop, and nothing but the scoop, so help me Bonaparte. Or as they said in the Little Colonel's kitchen after the bomb went off, "Linoleum Blownapart."
Of course, we all know that Memorial Day has turned into a movable feast, heaven knows, being observed on whatever is the last Monday of May, not on May 30 as it always was, back in its Decoration Day heyday, hi-dee-ho. Now it's as slippery as a quick-fingered pickpocket, and you really have to be on your toes to keep up with it, as it shifts around furtively from year to year, like some unwanted relative trying to borrow money. The purists among us have become resigned to this constant inconstancy, where nothing stays where you expect it, and every year ushers in a whole new set of challenges trying to pin down the holidays to their respective dates for that year only. It's bad enough with events such as Easter and Thanksgiving, which unlike Memorial Day, have never had one particular day associated with them in the first place. But I can safely say that I would not have expected the same old thing from Cinco de Mayo, which after all, is called the Fifth of May for a reason, and not just for the heck of it, so you would think that people who wanted to celebrate the occasion would at least do it on the right day. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw in the newspaper last week, that the city of Yonkers had already celebrated Cinco de Mayo on the last weekend in April, which was not even May first, complete with pictures of the parade, folk dancers, mariachi bands and schoolchildren in native costumes. Talk about a surprise attack - they beat Napoleon's army at the Battle of the Puebla two weeks before the Mexican troops ever got there, and don't forget, I've got the pictures to prove it.
Anyone who uses FaceBook can tell you it's not for the faint-hearted, especially not lately, as a nasty combination of performance issues, connectivity problems and program glitches have turned it into a woeful experience that is more flop than fab, so that the only consistent thing about it is how frustrating it is. The games and applications have been particularly hard hit, but also sending private messages has become an exercise in futility, and even just plain posting comments has been a very hit-or-miss proposition at best, and it's rarely been at its best. It was during this period of intermittent functionality that all of my games acted up, although not all in the same way. For instance, in Cafe World whenever you go back to the game, it displays a clipboard that usually says something like "Welcome back, you made 29,475 coins while you were away," because the game continues to serve meals when you're not there, until they run out, and you can make anywhere from 15,000 to 60,000 coins without even being near your computer at the time. So when I went to the game earlier in the week, and it greeted me with: "Welcome back, you made 523, 89, 100, 000, 000, 006" I knew that the snafu trolls were at it again, because that certainly wasn't what they meant, since in fact, it didn't even mean anything. I may not know how to cook, but I can spot a bogus number when I see one, by golly.
Speaking of new technology, I'm sure that everyone will be glad to hear that the fast-food behemoth, McDonald's, has jumped aboard the information superhighway bandwagon, as it were, and opened its golden arches at Twitter, presumably where food, folks and fun can meet and greet, in 140 characters or less. They actually describe it this way: "We're excited about joining the community and look forward to getting to know you too. Follow us for the latest McDonald's news, promotions and a few surprises along the way from our Communications teams." Of course, you can feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at [ http://www.aboutmcdonalds.com/mcd/media_center/mcdnlds_twttr_cntcts_092509.html ] and see for yourself. The Media Center page is entitled "Meet the Tweeps: @McDonalds Twitter Team," and introduces us to a cadre of fresh young faces and their ideas for using the power of Twitter to enhance our appreciation of everyone's favorite happy meal haven. (Personally, I would have to say that being called a "Tweep" would tend to have a dampening effect on my enthusiasm for the whole project, but that's just me, and I'm well known as a Luddite, and not even a McLuddite, at that.) So if you've had enough of burgers and fries, you can jump right in and check your Twitter account for the latest McTweets, with all of the up-to-the-minute details of the famous franchise's happenings. Tell them the Hamburglar sent you.
In other pop culture news, we have a blast from the past resurfacing to claim our attention, after a year out of the spotlight, at least for most of us, even though it was right where we left it. The 136th Kentucky Derby was last Saturday, and once again, the big story was the media darling of last year's quasi Triple Crown, veteran jockey Calvin Borel, this time aboard Super Saver, whose 8-1 odds made it the second favorite of the field. After the favorite Eskendereya was scratched with a leg injury, Lookin At Lucky's 6-1 odds tied it for the longest odds with only one other horse in the entire history of the Run for the Roses, so there was no runaway shoo-in for the top spot, like Rachel Alexandra last year. In spite of the conditions, Borel won his third Derby in four years, thanks to Super Saver putting it away handily with a 2-1/2 length lead over Ice Box, on a soggy track that might have been more suited to bikini models mud wrestling than thoroughbreds trying to run a horse race. Of course, that might have scandalized the traditionalists at historic Churchill Downs, but no doubt would have been a big hit with the ad sponsors, I'm thinking.
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have historically had my ups and downs as far as wearing watches over the years, where not only my funky novelty watches, but even sensible sturdy watches would work well for a while and then just stop, with no rhyme or reason, or accidents like being dropped or getting wet. Even worse, they would often develop a maddening inconsistency so that they would sometimes work and sometimes not, which is a decided drawback in watches, where you depend on them unequivocally to be the right time, all the time, and every time, and no excuses. So I would have to say that it came as no surprise when I took my watch out of my bag Friday morning at work to put it on, and found that it was not only the wrong time, but stopped as well, thanks not. Hoping for the best, I reset the time and tapped on it, but it wouldn't start, which I could tell by the sweep second hand not moving. I shook it and pushed the stem in and out trying to coax it back to life, but it was no dice on all counts, and I finally gave it up as a lost cause and figured that it must need a new battery. Fortunately, I had another watch with me, which is the kind of thing you do when you have this sort of pernicious effect on watches, so I was able to wear that one all day and at least keep in step with the rest of humanity, instead of wandering around lost in my own little "no-time" zone of oblivion. When I came home, I decided to take the stopped watch out of my bag, until I could get a new battery for it, only to find that it was running fine and had exactly the right time, which you would think would be impossible, except that I saw it with my own eyes. I know it's just toying with me, but by golly, two can play that game. Next time it tries that, I'm going to see what it thinks about mud wrestling, and believe me, I've got the bikini and I'm not afraid to use it.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 9:30 PM
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