Meal Ticket
Hello World,
And so here we find ourselves at the very last weekend in August, and after this, next up will be Labor Day weekend, believe that or don't, and in many places, that will mean back-to-school in earnest. Next weekend will also be the last pre-season football games, which means that actual regular season football will start the week after that, while the baseball teams in pennant races will still be jockeying for position. Bill reports that the supermarkets already have aisles full of Halloween decorations, which comes as no surprise whatsoever, but also all of their Halloween candy, which apparently has two full months to get good and stale, before even the first trick-or-treaters will be ringing the doorbells. Of course, we would never have sorts of problems like that, because fun-size Halloween candy treats wouldn't last for two weeks around here, much less two months, so our visitors can always be assured of the very freshest confections that the stores have to offer, and that's not just a lot of candy corn, believe me.
In other sports news, Bill and I were watching the hapless Mets play last week, and we noticed that even the announcers had gotten discouraged with the way their season was shaping up, after starting out bright with promise. Their pitchers have been doing all they can, but the offense isn't scoring any runs, and they've probably been in more one-run ballgames this season than any other team in history. So in a scoreless game that we were watching, the very last thing the Mets needed at that point was having a homerun called back by the umpires, and not counted, thank you so very much not. In fact, the umpiring crew somehow decided to categorize that as a "ground rule triple," of which there is no such thing in major league baseball, and made the hitter go back to third base, rather than scoring on what should have been a homerun. This is the kind of thing that only happens to the Mets, where they not only catch all the bad breaks, but also fall victim to rules that don't even exist that the umpires just make up on the spot. In fact, it caused one of the announcers to quip: "The Mets are the only team that can have a lead-off homerun to start an inning, and still can't score."
Meanwhile at church, we had gotten to the point in the service where we were supposed to stand up and sing "Thy Holy Wings," when the overhead projector malfunctioned, and the screen went completely black. The organist plunged ahead regardless, unaware of the glitch, and of course I was singing at full throttle, because I was using the hymnal instead, which is easier for me than following the words printed with no music. Suddenly one of the other members joined me from across the aisle, apologizing because she had no hymnal, and this was the first I realized that the projector was not working, so I shared my hymnal with her in an attempt to be hospitable. Unfortunately, I find the printing in the new hymnals is less distinct, and with the two of us sharing it, it was almost impossible for me to see all of the words clearly. It got to the point where I was basically just guessing at the lyrics from memory, and even worse when I would lead my neighbor down the garden path by inventing words that were entirely wrong, and she would follow right along with me, I'm sure, to the astonishment of everyone else around us with their own hymnal. Fortunately, the projector was soon put to rights, and disaster was averted for the remainder of the worship service. I was in the office later working on the computer, so I didn't go downstairs for coffee hour, but I can just visualize her down there, and she would be shaking her head and saying about me, "You know, she's a nice girl, but she can't read."
And what may be happening in the wide world of entertainment, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Bill heard about a new action movie and looked it up with our friends at wikipedia.org:
==================
I checked out that action picture with all the people in it and here's part of the scoop:
The Expendables is an upcoming ensemble action-war film written by Dave Callaham and Sylvester Stallone, and directed by Stallone. Filming began on March 28, 2009, in Rio de Janeiro, New Orleans, and Los Angeles, and is expected to be released on August 13, 2010. The film pays tribute to the blockbuster action films of the 1980s and early '90s, and stars an array of action veterans from those decades, including Stallone himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, and Jet Li, as well as more recent stars such as Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin.
The article goes on to say:
Jean-Claude Van Damme was personally offered a role by Stallone, but turned it down because he felt there was no substance to his character.
==================
Okay, I admit that I'm easily amused, but that last part is my favorite, where Jean-Claude van Damme, of all people, refuses to take part in a movie - not because of money or billing - but because of poor character development. Well, my apologies to Sir Jean-Claude van Olivier, but I personally think that's a whole big crock of brass-plated, 100-proof malarkey, although it does make a great story, so if that's his story, he's welcome to stick with it. On the other hand, if it was really true, you'd have to wonder if this wasn't the end of civilization as we know it, or "Hasta la vista, baby!"
Speaking of the end of civilization, our friends at Denny's restaurants have apparently decided that people are not dying fast enough from their gastronomically excessive meals, over-laden with deep fried foods, high-fat meats, hefty potatoes smothered in toppings, and gooey desserts, as hard as that may seem to believe. So the diabolical research trolls in their test kitchens have found a way to kick it up a notch, by inventing the Denny's New Fried Cheese Melt, which appears to be part of a trend of new extreme meals like the Double Down from KFC, the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt from Friendlys, and the Foot-Long Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr. For this new creation, here's how they describe it: "Take the classic grilled cheese with sourdough bread and American cheese, then stuff it with four fried mozzarella sticks and serve it with a side of marinara sauce. The $4 value meal is rounded out with a choice of soup or salad and served with a side of French fries." Well, if that's not a letter-perfect definition of a heart attack on a plate, I don't know what is, unless they strap you down and inject the fried cheese and hot oil directly into your veins. Denny's very helpfully provides the Nutritional Information, presumably for the sheer entertainment value, because obviously anybody who orders something so outrageous, couldn't give two hoots about how bad it would be for them. In fact, if a person ate the entire meal - the Fried Cheese Melt with Fries and Marinara Sauce - they would consume a whopping 1,260 calories at one time, with 63 grams of fat, and a staggering 3,010 mg of sodium. Our friends at slashfood.com took it for a taste test, and gave it high marks for deliciousness (they were practically giddy over it) while acknowledging that it was so extremely unhealthy that it should not be recommended. I think this explains why Denny's menu gets a top rating from the American Cardiologists Society, although for all the wrong reasons, and it would take a brave person to come out in favor of this decadent extravagance. I understand that they asked Jean-Claude van Damme to be their spokesperson, but he had to turn them down, because he said their commercials had no substance.
Elle
And so here we find ourselves at the very last weekend in August, and after this, next up will be Labor Day weekend, believe that or don't, and in many places, that will mean back-to-school in earnest. Next weekend will also be the last pre-season football games, which means that actual regular season football will start the week after that, while the baseball teams in pennant races will still be jockeying for position. Bill reports that the supermarkets already have aisles full of Halloween decorations, which comes as no surprise whatsoever, but also all of their Halloween candy, which apparently has two full months to get good and stale, before even the first trick-or-treaters will be ringing the doorbells. Of course, we would never have sorts of problems like that, because fun-size Halloween candy treats wouldn't last for two weeks around here, much less two months, so our visitors can always be assured of the very freshest confections that the stores have to offer, and that's not just a lot of candy corn, believe me.
In other sports news, Bill and I were watching the hapless Mets play last week, and we noticed that even the announcers had gotten discouraged with the way their season was shaping up, after starting out bright with promise. Their pitchers have been doing all they can, but the offense isn't scoring any runs, and they've probably been in more one-run ballgames this season than any other team in history. So in a scoreless game that we were watching, the very last thing the Mets needed at that point was having a homerun called back by the umpires, and not counted, thank you so very much not. In fact, the umpiring crew somehow decided to categorize that as a "ground rule triple," of which there is no such thing in major league baseball, and made the hitter go back to third base, rather than scoring on what should have been a homerun. This is the kind of thing that only happens to the Mets, where they not only catch all the bad breaks, but also fall victim to rules that don't even exist that the umpires just make up on the spot. In fact, it caused one of the announcers to quip: "The Mets are the only team that can have a lead-off homerun to start an inning, and still can't score."
Meanwhile at church, we had gotten to the point in the service where we were supposed to stand up and sing "Thy Holy Wings," when the overhead projector malfunctioned, and the screen went completely black. The organist plunged ahead regardless, unaware of the glitch, and of course I was singing at full throttle, because I was using the hymnal instead, which is easier for me than following the words printed with no music. Suddenly one of the other members joined me from across the aisle, apologizing because she had no hymnal, and this was the first I realized that the projector was not working, so I shared my hymnal with her in an attempt to be hospitable. Unfortunately, I find the printing in the new hymnals is less distinct, and with the two of us sharing it, it was almost impossible for me to see all of the words clearly. It got to the point where I was basically just guessing at the lyrics from memory, and even worse when I would lead my neighbor down the garden path by inventing words that were entirely wrong, and she would follow right along with me, I'm sure, to the astonishment of everyone else around us with their own hymnal. Fortunately, the projector was soon put to rights, and disaster was averted for the remainder of the worship service. I was in the office later working on the computer, so I didn't go downstairs for coffee hour, but I can just visualize her down there, and she would be shaking her head and saying about me, "You know, she's a nice girl, but she can't read."
And what may be happening in the wide world of entertainment, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Bill heard about a new action movie and looked it up with our friends at wikipedia.org:
==================
I checked out that action picture with all the people in it and here's part of the scoop:
The Expendables is an upcoming ensemble action-war film written by Dave Callaham and Sylvester Stallone, and directed by Stallone. Filming began on March 28, 2009, in Rio de Janeiro, New Orleans, and Los Angeles, and is expected to be released on August 13, 2010. The film pays tribute to the blockbuster action films of the 1980s and early '90s, and stars an array of action veterans from those decades, including Stallone himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, and Jet Li, as well as more recent stars such as Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin.
The article goes on to say:
Jean-Claude Van Damme was personally offered a role by Stallone, but turned it down because he felt there was no substance to his character.
==================
Okay, I admit that I'm easily amused, but that last part is my favorite, where Jean-Claude van Damme, of all people, refuses to take part in a movie - not because of money or billing - but because of poor character development. Well, my apologies to Sir Jean-Claude van Olivier, but I personally think that's a whole big crock of brass-plated, 100-proof malarkey, although it does make a great story, so if that's his story, he's welcome to stick with it. On the other hand, if it was really true, you'd have to wonder if this wasn't the end of civilization as we know it, or "Hasta la vista, baby!"
Speaking of the end of civilization, our friends at Denny's restaurants have apparently decided that people are not dying fast enough from their gastronomically excessive meals, over-laden with deep fried foods, high-fat meats, hefty potatoes smothered in toppings, and gooey desserts, as hard as that may seem to believe. So the diabolical research trolls in their test kitchens have found a way to kick it up a notch, by inventing the Denny's New Fried Cheese Melt, which appears to be part of a trend of new extreme meals like the Double Down from KFC, the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt from Friendlys, and the Foot-Long Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr. For this new creation, here's how they describe it: "Take the classic grilled cheese with sourdough bread and American cheese, then stuff it with four fried mozzarella sticks and serve it with a side of marinara sauce. The $4 value meal is rounded out with a choice of soup or salad and served with a side of French fries." Well, if that's not a letter-perfect definition of a heart attack on a plate, I don't know what is, unless they strap you down and inject the fried cheese and hot oil directly into your veins. Denny's very helpfully provides the Nutritional Information, presumably for the sheer entertainment value, because obviously anybody who orders something so outrageous, couldn't give two hoots about how bad it would be for them. In fact, if a person ate the entire meal - the Fried Cheese Melt with Fries and Marinara Sauce - they would consume a whopping 1,260 calories at one time, with 63 grams of fat, and a staggering 3,010 mg of sodium. Our friends at slashfood.com took it for a taste test, and gave it high marks for deliciousness (they were practically giddy over it) while acknowledging that it was so extremely unhealthy that it should not be recommended. I think this explains why Denny's menu gets a top rating from the American Cardiologists Society, although for all the wrong reasons, and it would take a brave person to come out in favor of this decadent extravagance. I understand that they asked Jean-Claude van Damme to be their spokesperson, but he had to turn them down, because he said their commercials had no substance.
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 8:10 PM
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