This And That

Hello World, Happy June! While it doesn't seem remotely possible that the year could already be well on its way to being half over, there's no denying what we see on the calendar at this point, and the immutable truth of what is before our eyes as the reality of the situation. Besides the improvements in the weather (one can only hope!) and the colorfully burgeoning landscape, this month has much else to offer, from proms and dads to brides and grads, and a welter of other fun-in-the-sun activities that are sure to please every whim or fancy, no matter how whimsical or fanciful they might be. Everyone should definitely get out there and enjoy all the pleasures that the season has to offer, or make up your own as you go along. If you're strapped for ideas, may I suggest a luxury car for the prom, private jet for dad, a new house for the bride, and ocean voyage for the grad - they'd love you for it no doubt, and the President's economic advisers would thank you, I'm sure. For anyone who hasn't been living under a rock (which, I must say, would not be such a bad idea in these strange and dangerous times, come to think of it) there's no escaping the fact that June 6th is the 70th anniversary of D-Day, World War II's decisive invasion of Normandy, with its epic landing on Omaha Beach against entrenched forces above, that paved the way for Allied forces to reclaim Europe from the grip of tyranny. If not for all of the brave and gallant souls who risked everything for freedom from oppression, we'd all be wearing our combat boots on the other side of the bed, as the actress said to the bishop. (Say, wait a minute, that's the punch line to a different joke altogether.) That reminds me of a war-related story I recently spotted in the newspaper, amid all of the voluminous features and coverage surrounding the anniversary of this pivotal event, where a battle-scarred veteran described an enemy soldier disparagingly as "a deserter and a trader." Since trading would scarcely qualify as a character flaw to be remembered decades later, one supposes the intended word should have been "traitor" instead of "trader," and heaven knows, the spell-checker is not going to help you with that, Sarge. Seventy years of technological advances, and frankly at this point, I'd trade you every gosh-darned spell-checker on the whole gol-danged planet for one old-fashioned honest-to-goodness editor from days gone by, and at least read the newspaper in comfort and peace of mind for a change. Anyone can tell you that this weekend is also notable in that it will tell the tale of whether or not we will be witnesses of history in the making, and all eyes are sure to be on the Belmont Stakes with a potential Triple Crown winner in the offing, as California Chrome takes off as the 3-5 favorite for his possible rendezvous with destiny. Over the years, 21 horses have been in the same position as the current favorite, but only in 2004, 2008 and 2012 in the last decade - all of the other years, a different horse has won each of the three races, which takes a lot of the anticipation out of the other races, especially the last one. This time around, the field of 11 horses includes Commanding Curve, General A Rod, Ride on Curlin and Wicked Strong from the Kentucky Derby, only some of whom also ran in the Preakness alongside California Chrome. For history buffs, the other horses who attained this lofty pinnacle are: 1919 Sir Barton 1930 Gallant Fox 1935 Omaha 1937 War Admiral 1941 Whirlaway 1943 Count Fleet 1946 Assault 1948 Citation 1973 Secretariat 1977 Seattle Slew 1978 Affirmed Between the 11 Triple Crown winners to date, there have been gaps of 11 years (1919-1930) and 25 years (1948-1973) and 36 years now (1978 to the present) which may or may not still be the case after Saturday. Of course, the history of horse racing is littered with contenders (50) who won 2 of the races, sometimes handily, but could not nail down that elusive third one, and the longer length at the Belmont track is often the deal-breaker that dashes the hopes of humans and animals alike in the galloping dust of despair. To paraphrase famous Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz (who knew a thing or two about winning races, I dare say) "Curses are meant to be broken," and that's not just a lot of lucky horseshoes, believe me. Only those of us who are "of a certain age" (and don't think for a moment that I don't know who you are!) will have any comprehension of this tidbit, which appeared on our Cat-A-Day calendar in an exposition about whiskers. I'm sure the young whipper-snappers at Workman Publishing probably thought they were the bee's knees (not to mention, 23 skidoo and all that jazz) with this trip down Memory Lane: ================================== Back in the 1950s and earlier, cars sported whiskers, too. Called "curb feelers" or "curb finders," they were long, stiff wires mounted on springs and installed low on the body, close to the wheel. When parking, and as the car came close to the curb, the "whiskers" would scrape loudly, alerting the driver in time to avoid damaging the hubcaps or whitewall tires. ================================== Mind you, my fabled Gremlin of lore and legend had curb feelers, and that was in 1973 and later, so it's certainly not beyond the realm of possibility for people to actually remember these devices during the span of human existence on this planet, or God forbid, actually drive a vehicle that had them attached for the very purpose they were designed, and what won't they think of next, by golly. But ya gotta love how the calendar kiddies took great pains to carefully pontificate on the subject, like they were some obscure prehistoric artifact from the mists of millennia past, so shrouded in mystery that archaeologists had to try and explain them to a disbelieving public like Stonehenge, enchanted amulets, or cave drawings. Next it will be poodle skirts, button hooks, and BetaMax, I shouldn't wonder. Of course, the dinosaurs will be more than happy to tell everyone that I am in actuality older than dirt, but I certainly didn't need my morning calendar to rub it in, and thanks so very much not. And in fact, the way cars nowadays are so over-dressed, with their bras and diapers and eyelashes and mustaches, I wouldn't be surprised if someone came out with some fancy new-fangled version of curb feelers again now, and acted like it was some brilliant innovation that they had just invented. You heard it here first, folks. For anyone with too much time on their hands, and plenty of brain cells, I've just been notified that Word Jewels 2 is available free from our friends at Boy Howdy Technology, and as a loyal fan of the original Word Jewels, I'm happy to recommend it, and I don't mind saying, very highly would not be high enough. This combo of word games promises endless fun, and unlike most promises, this one really delivers. It builds on the same concept as the original game - making words from adjacent letter tiles - but adds several different variations, with something to suit every preference, and provide more interesting options than just the basic format. It still includes the Classic version, where you continue advancing through higher levels, and now features what they call an Endless game, where you aren't penalized for failing to complete a level. In Rally mode, you complete 10 levels that are not only all different from each other, but different each time you play, while in Blitz mode, you have only one level to score as many points as you possibly can. For the heavy hitters, there's also Challenge mode (I can already hear the derisive howls of laughter from the dinosaurs in The Peanut Gallery, thanks not) where the minimum word requirements increase every level from 3-letters to 4-letters to 5-letters, etc. I didn't think it would be possible, or in fact even necessary, to improve upon the original Word Jewels, but they made me a believer with this revamp, and I admit that I find it endlessly entertaining and addictive. They have plenty of other games - like solitaire, poker, sudoku, hangman, word search and bubble matching - and they're all free, so you should definitely check them out right now and be glad you did. Since they're free, you may as well also buy a few more smart phones while you're at it, and make the President's economic advisers glad at the same time. As for me, I'll be watching my BetaMax in my poodle skirt, before taking a spin in my DeSoto with the curb feelers - now what did I do with that button hook? Elle