For Better Or Worse

Hello World, Ah, what is so rare as a day in September, indeed! We've been enjoying some absolutely glorious weather in these parts, that would make even the least poetical among us exclaim, "If only you could bottle this, by golly!" The spectacular days and crisp nights are more than a tonic for what ails you, and ideal conditions for seasonal events of all kinds, like fairs, concerts, carnivals, craft shows, harvest festivals, hay rides, and not to mention, fall foliage excursions on all sides. It certainly has been the perfect embodiment of football weather, which is just as well, since the NFL pre-season wrapped up in August, and the regular season got underway for real on September 4th, to the delight of frenzied fans the world over. So far, most teams managed to split their first two games, although a handful - like the woeful Giants, thanks not - are already 0-2, while the hapless Tampa Bay Buccaneers hold the lead in ineptitude with their 0-3 record, right out of the gate. Five teams are still undefeated across this great land of ours, from the Liberty Bell quarters to the gulf stream waters, and from - well, whatever Denver and North Carolina are famous for, I guess. They obviously didn't make much of an impression on the late and lamented Woody Guthrie, although in fairness, he was probably not much of a football fan to start with, I shouldn't wonder. Of course, you can always tell it's September when special events crop up all over the region, such as the famous Oktoberfest at Bear Mountain, which inexplicably rolled out the barrel beginning on September 13, in direct contradiction to the actual name of the occasion - and which, like Cinco de Mayo, you would think would have the good sense to stay put when it was supposed to happen, and not just traipse around haphazardly all over the darned calendar, like any old movable feast. Like March Madness (which now happens in April) and Russia's fabled October Revolution (which is now celebrated in November) if people can't bring themselves to observe the thing when it's supposed to take place, they may as well just change the name of it, and not go around making themselves look ridiculous and confuse the heck out of the rest of us. Future archaeologists would be deeply grateful, I'm sure. Now is also the time for political primaries, in advance of the general elections in November. Here in the Empire State, we found ourselves with a gubernatorial challenger of the same party taking on the incumbent governor, with the unlikely moniker of Zephyr Teachout, of all things, which is certainly a name to conjure with, if nothing else. Personally, this sounds to me more like a made-up comic book character than anything else - although come to think of it, "Governor Teachout" would be a great name for an alternative rock band, as our old friend Dave Barry always says. Meanwhile, speaking of things to conjure with, I received an urgent email from some close personal friends (NOT) in Nigeria, who apparently wanted my help in a financial transaction involving the sum of $12,570,000.00, and for which assistance, I would no doubt be handsomely rewarded. The reason I noticed it was the somewhat startling subject line of the message, which announced: "Hello Please Choke Your Email!" I couldn't help but agree that those would be my sentiments exactly, and harmonious international relations notwithstanding. I was thinking of forwarding the message to Zephyr Teachout, but even the Nigerians probably wouldn't believe that was a real person, I'm thinking. And while we're on the topic of things that make no sense, here's a healthy tidbit that recently appeared in our local newspaper, in an article about National Wellness Week, which also occurs in September: ==================================== Ossining Public Library is offering Beginner and Intermediate yoga classes for teens and adults on Saturdays at 11:00 AM Classes are taught by certified instructors, and attendees are asked to please a mat and towel ==================================== Frankly, I've never had much luck with pleasing a mat or a towel, and trying to please both of them at the same time, I'm sure would be nothing but an exercise in futility, I dare say. Of course, it's all too easy to scoff at the foibles and failings of newspapers nowadays, and we've all long since learned that the spell-checker is not going to help you if you get all of the words right, but just plain leave out the ones that you really need. And it certainly does no good to decry the lack of standards, heaven knows, because the one thing that remains true through it all is that things can always be worse, rather than getting any better. So I'll close with this parting shot from the wise and witty Pastor Miller, whose words to live by appear on my Twitter feed: "Start leaving the world a better place, by leaving the living room a better place." There being no way to improve upon that, all I can add is, "Amen, brother!" Elle