Don't Rock The Boat

Hello World, Happy August! Now it can be said that we have well and truly entered into that well-worn season of "The Dog Days of August," which in the metropolitan New York area, is not for the faint-hearted, that's for sure. Oddly enough after the sweltering heat of late July, the new month has started off with the most glorious weather - brilliant sunshine, moderate temperatures, and reasonable humidity - to make even the jaded denizens of The Big Apple environs positively giddy with spring fever-like euphoria, albeit 6 months too late. Our old friends the dinosaurs and I would call this "Dog Days for Sissies," and I don't mind saying that personally, I'm all for it. I know the Calvinists out there (and you know who you are!) would insist that suffering builds character, but frankly, I already built all the character in July that I could possibly stand, and that's not just a lot of sackcloth and ashes, heaven knows. Garcon, more lemonade and watermelon, if you please, and give my hammock a push while you're at it. Speaking of The Big Apple, we had occasion to brave the mean streets of lower Manhattan last week, when 2 sisters from the wild, wild west coast paid a visit to the region, taking in shows, visiting friends and colleagues (like Bill from the Warm Strangers group of Vienna Teng fans) and seeing the sights. They agreed to shoehorn us into their busy schedule on Friday, so we hopped on a train to Grand Central, and then took a cab to the Gotham West Market, an eclectic food court on 11th Avenue in Hell's Kitchen. This interesting space features about a dozen ethnic food vendors - including sushi, Latin, Asian fusion, organic, craft beers, exotic coffees, and even ice cream - with communal seating indoors and out, and a congenial atmosphere despite the crowds. We played it safe with a plate of French fries (served with a searing hot sauce they claimed was ketchup) which was half-heartedly topped with some rubbery cheese, and was no improvement to the fries, which were actually very tasty on their own. I took a chance on a few huevos de diablo, which looked a lot like ordinary deviled eggs, but were so spicy that I would recommend having a fire extinguisher close at hand. There was also a long counter for people to play games, and it was there we noticed their very large sign pointing the way to their "CLEAN BATHROOMS" - leading Bill to wonder where they kept their dirty bathrooms instead. (After all, wouldn't you expect tourists would want to have an authentic New York City experience in their travels?) Thus fortified, we set out on the next phase of our adventures. Just about everyone is familiar with the venerable Circle Line boats, which have been showing tourists the sights that can be seen from the city waterways, since I believe, at least the time of Peter Minuit and Henry Hudson's first sojourns to the region or thereabouts. There's the standard excursion, which covers a lot of ground, so to speak, in two different directions and takes many hours, and a not-to-be-missed attraction for first-time visitors to the boroughs. Then for the short attention span contingent, there's a more compact version which starts in the same place, but goes faster and doesn't travel as far, so you can be there and back in about an hour and a half, and get on with the rest of your day. Bill thought this was a novelty the sisters would enjoy, so that was our plan. After lunch, we were early for the cruise, so we traipsed around the area to see what else there was to see. Out-of-towners like me would find it somewhat disconcerting to take a cab west from Grand Central on 42nd Street, through Times Square, and suddenly around 9th Avenue, here's the USS Intrepid aircraft carrier looming up in front of you, looking for all the world like it's right there on the street with you, and you and the taxicab are going to slam right into it. I can try to convince you that isn't the case, but believe me, when you're riding along on the street, that's exactly what it looks like. We found it sitting sedately in the harbor, basically next to where the Circle Line launches from, and a certified tourist attraction of its own that draws people from all over the world. In between the two docks, you will find the charming Pier 84 Park, which packs a pretty big punch for such a tiny space. There's an Irish pub with outdoor tables so people can enjoy the view, plus plenty of food carts selling the usual pretzels, ice cream, and assorted drinks and snacks. They have one of those newfangled programmable fountains, the kind that shoots up from synchronized water jets right out of the ground, and apparently anyone is welcome to just frolic in its cooling spray as it goes through its paces. There's also a fenced-in section functioning as a dog park, complete with toys, a couple of kiddie pools, a water hose, and other assorted apparatus to keep the pups entertained while their owners relax in the shade. The view across the river (which turns out to be Weehawken, New Jersey, of all things) seems so close that you could reach out and touch it. It's a custom-made photo op that is impossible to resist, and if Peter Minuit and Henry Hudson were there, I'm sure they'd be taking selfies along with everybody else, I dare say. Finally it was time for the Circle Line to set sail, as it were, so we took our seats with the rest of the happy throng, and settled in for adventures on the high seas. (Well, the Hudson River, the estuary known as the East River, and New York Harbor, anyway.) There's a very engaging tour guide highlighting all of the points of interest along the way, and his running commentary is so fascinating that the time seems to just fly by. It's certainly a unique way to see the city's famous skyline from a completely different perspective, not to mention, parts of Brooklyn and New Jersey that you wouldn't see otherwise. The boat skirts both Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, and seeing them from that vantage point is worth the trip itself. You go over the Lincoln and Holland tunnels, and under the fabled Brooklyn Bridge, 133 years old and still going strong. (Take THAT, lousy Tappan Zee Bridge, ya big baby!) For the most part, the passage is calm and comfortable, with refreshing breezes on the open upper deck, and gentle air conditioning inside. There's even a snack bar and gift shop, and I can vouch for their hot pretzels, by golly. They bring you back to the pier right on the dot, so if you had something else to do afterward, you'd be in no danger of missing the boat, as they say. It just occurred to me that they ought to put these people in charge of running the trains, which would certainly revolutionize mass transit in this area, and that's not just Casey Jones talking, believe me. We had a (perhaps far-fetched) notion of touring the USS Intrepid after we got back to the pier (we didn't dare try it beforehand, and risk missing the Circle Line's launch time) but unfortunately, by the time we were back on dry land, the carrier had closed up shop for the day, and we left disappointed, alas. At this point, the sisters were on their way to visit Chinatown (and coming from San Francisco, they obviously have their own local Chinatown to compare it with) and being young and energetic, thought it made perfect sense to hike the 15 or so blocks to the subway that would take them there. Having clearly lost our marbles at sea, Bill and I elected to hike along with them, which with the heat and humidity and unrelenting sun, seemed like a worse and worse idea the farther we went. Finally we bid our fond farewells and packed them on the subway, then tried to catch a cab back to Grand Central. This proved impossible (even though, yes, "there's an app for that!") so we walked around the corner to Penn Station and took the subway and Times Square shuttle to our destination. Luckily we arrived at the terminal in time to catch the next train home, and after a long day of walking, boating, sight-seeing and picture-taking, it was only a miracle that we were still awake when we got there. We had long since given up on the idea of making dinner - just thinking about it made us even more exhausted - so we headed for the diner and indulged in a couple of cool mixed salads and fruit platters to revive our flagging spirits. Overall, it was a fun day chockful of special and unusual elements that set it apart from our regular journeys, and we returned a little the worse for wear, but still all in one piece, so that was the best part. I can happily recommend the Circle Line (and please feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at www.circleline42.com and see for yourself) to anyone on the lookout for an aquatic adventure that is sure to please. Tell them Peter Minuit and Henry Hudson sent you. Elle