Hello World,
Happy Presidents Day weekend! Monday has been set aside to honor the memory, and acknowledge the achievements, of the Chief Executives throughout American history, from sea to shining sea, and above the fruited plains, with all the purple mountains majesty that anyone could ever hope for, by George. (Do they even still make kids sing those musty old patriotic songs anymore???) It's true that the presidency over the course of time has been a somewhat ragtag example of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, heaven knows, but the holiday shows no partiality, and simply commemorates them all without judgment. So whether it's an iconic colossus of integrity, or a degenerate scoundrel lambasted by critics, they're all equal in the pomp and circumstance department, and no one can take that away from them. And that's not just a lot of Hail to the Chief, believe me.
Of course, the best thing about recognizing presidents, love 'em or hate 'em, is having a day off from work, which is an idea I think we can all rally around, regardless of party affiliations or political ideology. Even better, this handy made-up holiday has no tradition of rituals or requirements that must be observed - no presents, parades, special foods, seasonal music, elaborate costumes, greeting cards, or folk dancing - so everyone is off the hook, as it were, to do as much or as little as they choose to mark the occasion, and leave The Holiday Police floundering in their wake. Hopefully everyone out there in the wide world will have the opportunity to enjoy a nice long and relaxing weekend, full of spacious skies and amber waves of grain. (I'm sure they can't still be making kids sing this stuff with the alabaster cities and the oceans white with foam, for heaven's sake.) Speaking of the friendly skies, so far conditions in February have been erratic at best, and calamitous at worst, and extreme enough to make any normal person question their sanity. It prompted one alert reader to pass along the following ray of sunshine, so to speak (thanks, Sandrine!) -
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A friend's husband was a meteorologist
at the local US Weather Service office
out at the airport. Frequently, people
would complain about the weather to him.
He would reply that he was in marketing,
not production. I thought that was funny.
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Ya gotta love it! And while we're on the subject of funny business, it reminds me that in a previous note, our crack (or is that cracked?) research team, always scrupulous about maintaining its standard of pinpoint accuracy that it is so well known for [I ask you to please disregard the ill-mannered snickering from our old friends the dinosaurs in The Peanut Gallery] and was busily endeavoring to nail down exactly when the Vince Lombardi Trophy was first awarded at the Super Bowl. Well, according to our friends at wikipedia (who should know better) they insisted that it was awarded at the first Super Bowl way back in 1967. I don't think so! Technically speaking, it was the Green Bay Packers who won the first two Super Bowls (although they weren't actually called that at the time) when ol' Vince was still very much alive and kicking - and I seriously doubt that the Commissioner handed him a trophy with his own name on it already, since it acquired that sobriquet as a tribute to him after he died. So as they say on the gridiron, the field is covered with laundry (that means that the officials have all thrown their penalty flags on the play) and I would have to call that a fumble on the part of wikipedia, for dropping the ball of truth, and resorting to the armchair quarterback of convenient fiction over cold hard facts. Offsides!
Of course, wikipedia is not the only place suffering from accuracy challenges regarding the great and small alike. We have Bill to thank for the following:
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Anyway, when I turned my phone on,
it was still at the page about Amy Acker.
Apparently, it was some sort of spam page
because this was the biography they offered:
Amy Acker looks very Hot and sexy Hollywood actress;
she is a famed and best actor of the Hollywood industry.
She is a famed American actress and she is now at the top
of celebrity and triumph. She comes in the movie industry
through TV. Amy Acker joins the movie industry after
creation a good name in the TV industry. By these most
famed and popular TV series named angel attract people
she become famed all around the world.
Amy Acker is also famed personality of the stage.
Her performance in the TV series attracts the people
of the whole globe and her acting ability is liked by
the people of the whole globe. People like her abilities
and supporters encourage her to join the movie industry;
later than her 1st act in the movie Amy Acker is cherished
at a large scale and she shift in the industry. Angel is the
most popular TV series by which she completes an identity
in the whole globe.
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Ah yes, there she goes, completing an identity in the whole globe indeed. And she certainly is cherished at a large scale after creation a good name in the TV industry, I dare say. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up - and not that you would want to anyway, even if you could. But I will say that we can't blame it all on the all too often inaptly-named information super-highway, since the following just showed up yesterday in the caption under a picture in the Real Estate Review section of our local newspaper:
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New Boston fund commencences the final phase
of Seaside Village in Niantic
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Does it really? I think it's more likely, if you try out that verb in a sentence on any of your devices, you will find that your spell-checker doesn't think much of it, and with good reason. Oh well, I realize that I may not be cherished at a large scale like Amy Acker, or won a trophy named after myself pre-humously (wish I could claim to have coined that witticism) like Vince Lombardi, but the research team, The Holiday Police, the dinosaurs and I certainly know when it's time to commencences our final phase of wrapping things up around here, and head for the hills, before things get even worse. If anybody's looking for me, I'll be in the land of the pilgrim's pride, from the redwood forests to the gulf stream waters, crowning thy good with brotherhood, through the night with the light from above, by jingo. Of course, I'll be dressed as Millard Fillmore at the time.
Elle
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