Apples And Oranges

Hello World, Greetings again from our little corner of Paradise, in the optimistic hope that this Friday the 13th has not tossed any unlucky spells your way, on top of all the usual craziness out there in these wild and woolly days. Of course, it does no good to complain about the weather, heaven knows, which has gone from ridiculous, to absurd, to incomprehensible, to completely off the charts – and no end in sight as far as I can tell. At this rate, we'll be wearing shorts and tank tops at Christmas, and hardy parkas with long johns at Easter, I dare say. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. One significant disadvantage of the weather, at least for the leaf peepers among us, has been the almost total lack of leaves changing colors in the fall like they're supposed to, thanks not. The northeast is justifiably famous for its fiery-hued vistas all throughout the region, along the highways, rivers, and scenic overlooks everywhere, with one breath-taking landscape after another, and drawing fall foliage enthusiasts from miles away in every direction. Not so fast! As a result of a combination of factors (according to whoever you believe, it’s either been too hot, too cold, too dry, too wet, too sunny, too cloudy, too windy, or just too inconsistent) the trees have stayed almost uniformly green, even at this late date. The newspapers have been running side-by-side pictures from previous years compared to now, and the difference is nothing short of astounding. In fact, I've heard rumors that the New England Tourism Board is preparing to enlist volunteers to go around and paint the leaves by hand, but I'm sure we can all agree that hopefully it won't come to that. On the other hand, last Saturday was the locally renowned Mill Neck Apple Festival at the sumptuous estate of Mill Neck Manor, and the weather could not have been more delightful for this purpose if it tried. We hit the road good and early, which was just as well, since the traffic was turning into quite a mess, perhaps due to the long weekend for Columbus Day. We picked up my sister and made a bee-line to Denny’s for lunch, which was so uncharacteristically busy that we actually had to sit and wait for a table to open up. From there, we took what amounted to a leisurely ramble through the dense shade of the north shore of Long Island, almost as far as you can go without driving right into the Sound (not in MY car, you don't!) and reached our destination without any trouble. Mill Neck Manor was constructed in 1923, and is situated on a bucolic estate with lush rolling hills throughout its pristine 86 acres, and was formerly the residence of cosmetics heiress Lillian Sefton Dodge. Besides the luxurious manor house itself, the property is home to the Mill Neck Family of Organizations, including Mill Neck Services Center for Hearing Health, Mill Neck Manor School for the Deaf, Mill Neck Foundation, Mill Neck International, and Lutheran Friends of the Deaf . I had been there once before to attend a church workshop in 2005, and found it to be such a wonderful hidden gem that I was glad for a chance to return once again. For a place that basically nobody has ever heard of, we were surprised to discover that the property was absolutely mobbed, from one end to the other, in spite of charging $15 admission per car, thanks not. Like most community events nowadays, it featured the requisite bouncy castles, slides, and petting zoo, as well as a handful of kiddie rides and activities to keep the youngsters entertained. There was also a panoply of vendor tents sprawling out in every direction, plus food options of every description, and more than a few that defied description (frozen hot chocolate???) so there was no danger of anyone starving to death, I can assure you. And in stark (and welcome) contrast to the Fall Festival at Wildwood recently, this one packed a veritable wallop of everything we felt was missing from the previous gathering. Besides a bumper crop of apples, obviously, there was a wide assortment of other produce, like local corn, tomatoes, pumpkins, peas, beans, squash, pears, lettuce, and carrots. There were jars upon jars of honey, jam, maple syrup, preserves, marmalade, and chutney, as well as bottles upon bottles of wine, vinegar, craft beer, salad dressing, and infused olive oils to suit every taste. Home-made candies, pies, cakes, muffins, cupcakes, fudge, and artisanal breads and cheeses tempted the susceptible on every side, plus vendor trucks hawking the usual fair fare of funnel cakes, churros, cotton candy, and ice cream. An impressive array of booths featured lovingly hand-crafted items such as baby clothes, jewelry, scarves, toys, bags, soap, candles, ponchos, wall art, novelty hats, holiday decorations, landscape elements, and extravagant hand-knit sweaters that were a marvel to behold. Bill couldn't resist a painting of Long Island, and I think we can all agree that a sack of apples was de rigueur under the circumstances, after all. Unaccountably nestled among the vast multitude, my old alma mater, the East Meadow High School and their admirable honor society had their own booth, for reasons that are still unclear to me. Bill felt compelled to buy me one of their T-shirts, although in the interests of full disclosure, I felt it was only fair to let them know that I was way too dumb in high school to get anywhere near the honor society, that’s for sure. For their part, they accepted this admission with good grace, and did not begrudge the purchase - which turned out to be nothing more than an ASL logo and no affiliation with the honor society at good old EMHS, because let's face it, me wearing that sort of misleading garment would be tantamount to false advertising of the worst stripe, and I ought to know. Fortunately for me, the “Truth in Textiles” law has never been passed, so my clothing could hypothetically say whatever it pleased, without necessarily being true, accurate, appropriate, legal, or even possible, for all anyone cared. On the other hand, I'm sure everyone appreciates the pin-point accuracy that we strive for here, and understands that I would never wear anything that would deliberately deceive, obfuscate, or confound the general public at large, regarding my character, attributes, connections, or accomplishments. Which is why, in spite of the ill-mannered snickering of our old friends the dinosaurs in The Peanut Gallery, I'm wearing a perfectly legitimate shirt that says - Queen of All She Surveys