O, Christmas Tree
Hello World,
Happy April! It seems hard to believe that Easter could already be behind us, but you can believe me when I say that the Easter Bunny has come and gone, and went hopping off down the old bunny trail for another year. (Except for our friendly neighborhood Greeks, where apparently the calendar makers really screwed up this year, and Greek Orthodox Easter isn't until May 1st for some reason.) The Easter Bunny came to our house right on schedule, and to no one's surprise, brought us goodies to munch on, to watch, to read and to enjoy in the garden. I can't think of anything better than that, but it did get even better, when we went to Mom's and had a wonderful lunch at the diner, and a beautiful day it was, too. All of the cold and rain that they had been predicting held off until Monday, so we could enjoy our holiday in fine style, and it goes without saying, in our Easter finery as well.
Lest we give anyone the impression that the Greek Orthodox calendar makers are the only ones screwing things up these days, we mustn't forget the NHL, which just canceled its amateur draft for new players, due to the ongoing labor dispute between players and owners. I know it doesn't seem possible that they could still be fighting over the same things that they have been fighting over since last May, but this stalemate has given new meaning to the phrase "no end in sight." So now they have managed to not only destroy what may have been the final year of many older players' careers without any season this year, but also what might have been the rookie seasons of any players who would have been drafted for the upcoming season as well. That's actually a neat trick to pull off, the old double-whammy, and typical of what we've come to expect from the negotiators so far. Now, if they could just make themselves disappear, that would be the best trick of all.
Periodically, our local newspaper (their motto: "We've Lowered Our Standards, So You Don't Have To") has a separate section called Wheels Extra about new cars. Everyone knows how I like to keep up with current trends in the automotive industry, so whenever I see it, I look at the front page to see what's hot, or rather, cool. Usually, it's some massive and clunky SUV that they're raving about, or something that they refer to as a "sports coupe" that to me, looks for all the world like a doorstop. And of course, there's plenty of my personal favorite (NOT!) the four-door sedan with spoiler, which I have always felt is just the most ridiculous thing on wheels. Now, I have nothing against four-door sedans, in fact, my Mom has a Cutlass Ciera that I think is absolutely the bee's knees. But there's no point in putting a spoiler on the back of these things, and trying to convince anyone that it's a sports car, because no amount of decorative paraphernalia is going to turn a doorstop into a race car, and that's all there is to it. Anyway, the car they were raving about on the front of the section last week was so ugly that I had to look at the picture twice, and you can't imagine how surprised I was to find out that it's apparently a new Jaguar, and a Jaguar station wagon, at that. Honestly, they haven't made station wagons in 25 years, since they invented SUVs and minivans, and here, Jaguar of all people decided to come along with a new one, and set a whole new standard of ugliness while they were at it. No one would believe that a lame-brained idea like a Jaguar station wagon would ever see the light of day, but there it was, in all its stupefying uglificence. I said to Bill that it's obviously the end of the world.
Speaking of newspapers, Bill loves this story from the previous month and wants to share it with everyone --
==================================
PRINCETON, NJ - February 9, 2005 Flaming Christmas tree burns professor A Princeton University economics professor and former presidential adviser was in critical condition yesterday after being burned while carrying a blazing Christmas tree from his home. David F. Bradford, who was a top economic adviser to former President George H. W. Bush, suffered third-degree burns over half his body early Tuesday morning, police said. Bradford, 66, was being treated at Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia. The fire was caused by one of about 10 lit candles on the tree, which had been in the house since December, police told The Times of Trenton. A professor of economics and public affairs at Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School, Bradford also has positions with the National Bureau of Economic Research in Cambridge, Mass., the American Institute for Public Policy Research in Washington, and the New York University School of Law.
*****
Now, how STUPID do you have to be to A) have REAL candles on your REAL Christmas tree and 2) LIGHT them when the tree has been sitting in your living room for two months?!!! And then to top it off, how about trying to drag the tree outside?! No wonder our economic system is so loused up if these are the guys advising the government on it!
===================================
Well, I admit that I don't know of any way to improve upon that, try as I might. And while we're on the topic of government and economics, I may be the last person to find out about the new nickels. No, this is not an April Fool's joke. After tampering with all of the paper money, dollar coins and even quarters, the government has finally set their sights on the lowly nickel, and decided to give it a make-over. The first I heard of it was when there was a big to-do about the new version of the "buffalo" nickel, which had been retired from circulation in 1938 and replaced with the current nickel, featuring Thomas Jefferson's home of Monticello on the reverse. So here was all of this excitement about the new and improved buffalo nickel, and I thought it was pretty interesting, although I was surprised that they would opt for such a nostalgic design from decades ago. Au contraire! (That's French for "You call that a Jaguar?!") Apparently, like the new State quarters, there's a whole series of new nickels, five of them in all, commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Lewis & Clark expedition, which took place during Jefferson's presidency. It turns out that the buffalo nickel is the third on the series, so somehow or other, the first two must not have been newsworthy enough to attract much attention. The first design has two hands copied from the "friendly hand-clasp" medallions that the explorers gave out along the way to assure the Natives of their good intentions. The second is a depiction of a keelboat used on the rivers, followed by the ubiquitous buffalo, and then the Pacific Ocean. The last design is taken from William Clark's journal that says "O the joy!" when they first spotted the ocean at the end of their long and difficult journey. So there you have it. If you thought we were finished with Monopoly money when they came out with the State quarters, welcome to the new wooden nickels.
I had taken Monday after Easter off from work, and had grandiose plans for yard work to be accomplished while I was home. Mother Nature did not cooperate (you just can't get good help these days!) so I was outdoors in the garden during all of the torrential downpour that we had throughout the entire day. Thank you not very much! I had wanted to clear out a corner of our backyard that had become so over-grown and impenetrable, that I was expecting to be approached by the producers of the "Survivor" TV series for an upcoming season. The weeds in the ground had gotten so tall, and the bushes along the rock wall had fallen over so far, that the two had met in the middle to create one large dense clump of vegetation that then continued to sprawl in every direction, including right through the neighbor's fence behind it. When I finally chopped my way in there with my clippers, everything was such a tangle of wild rosebushes, hedge, honeysuckle vines, phlox, false asters, ivy, maple saplings, pachysandra and worse, that I thought I would never fight my way through to the other side. I know the Justice Department was relieved when I told them that I didn't uncover either Judge Crater or Jimmy Hoffa, so we can put those rumors to rest right now. And speaking of rest, this would be a good time for one, and remember Daylight Savings this weekend, when we Spring Ahead and lose an hour, so if we're going to rest, we have to do it faster.
Happy April! It seems hard to believe that Easter could already be behind us, but you can believe me when I say that the Easter Bunny has come and gone, and went hopping off down the old bunny trail for another year. (Except for our friendly neighborhood Greeks, where apparently the calendar makers really screwed up this year, and Greek Orthodox Easter isn't until May 1st for some reason.) The Easter Bunny came to our house right on schedule, and to no one's surprise, brought us goodies to munch on, to watch, to read and to enjoy in the garden. I can't think of anything better than that, but it did get even better, when we went to Mom's and had a wonderful lunch at the diner, and a beautiful day it was, too. All of the cold and rain that they had been predicting held off until Monday, so we could enjoy our holiday in fine style, and it goes without saying, in our Easter finery as well.
Lest we give anyone the impression that the Greek Orthodox calendar makers are the only ones screwing things up these days, we mustn't forget the NHL, which just canceled its amateur draft for new players, due to the ongoing labor dispute between players and owners. I know it doesn't seem possible that they could still be fighting over the same things that they have been fighting over since last May, but this stalemate has given new meaning to the phrase "no end in sight." So now they have managed to not only destroy what may have been the final year of many older players' careers without any season this year, but also what might have been the rookie seasons of any players who would have been drafted for the upcoming season as well. That's actually a neat trick to pull off, the old double-whammy, and typical of what we've come to expect from the negotiators so far. Now, if they could just make themselves disappear, that would be the best trick of all.
Periodically, our local newspaper (their motto: "We've Lowered Our Standards, So You Don't Have To") has a separate section called Wheels Extra about new cars. Everyone knows how I like to keep up with current trends in the automotive industry, so whenever I see it, I look at the front page to see what's hot, or rather, cool. Usually, it's some massive and clunky SUV that they're raving about, or something that they refer to as a "sports coupe" that to me, looks for all the world like a doorstop. And of course, there's plenty of my personal favorite (NOT!) the four-door sedan with spoiler, which I have always felt is just the most ridiculous thing on wheels. Now, I have nothing against four-door sedans, in fact, my Mom has a Cutlass Ciera that I think is absolutely the bee's knees. But there's no point in putting a spoiler on the back of these things, and trying to convince anyone that it's a sports car, because no amount of decorative paraphernalia is going to turn a doorstop into a race car, and that's all there is to it. Anyway, the car they were raving about on the front of the section last week was so ugly that I had to look at the picture twice, and you can't imagine how surprised I was to find out that it's apparently a new Jaguar, and a Jaguar station wagon, at that. Honestly, they haven't made station wagons in 25 years, since they invented SUVs and minivans, and here, Jaguar of all people decided to come along with a new one, and set a whole new standard of ugliness while they were at it. No one would believe that a lame-brained idea like a Jaguar station wagon would ever see the light of day, but there it was, in all its stupefying uglificence. I said to Bill that it's obviously the end of the world.
Speaking of newspapers, Bill loves this story from the previous month and wants to share it with everyone --
==================================
PRINCETON, NJ - February 9, 2005 Flaming Christmas tree burns professor A Princeton University economics professor and former presidential adviser was in critical condition yesterday after being burned while carrying a blazing Christmas tree from his home. David F. Bradford, who was a top economic adviser to former President George H. W. Bush, suffered third-degree burns over half his body early Tuesday morning, police said. Bradford, 66, was being treated at Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia. The fire was caused by one of about 10 lit candles on the tree, which had been in the house since December, police told The Times of Trenton. A professor of economics and public affairs at Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School, Bradford also has positions with the National Bureau of Economic Research in Cambridge, Mass., the American Institute for Public Policy Research in Washington, and the New York University School of Law.
*****
Now, how STUPID do you have to be to A) have REAL candles on your REAL Christmas tree and 2) LIGHT them when the tree has been sitting in your living room for two months?!!! And then to top it off, how about trying to drag the tree outside?! No wonder our economic system is so loused up if these are the guys advising the government on it!
===================================
Well, I admit that I don't know of any way to improve upon that, try as I might. And while we're on the topic of government and economics, I may be the last person to find out about the new nickels. No, this is not an April Fool's joke. After tampering with all of the paper money, dollar coins and even quarters, the government has finally set their sights on the lowly nickel, and decided to give it a make-over. The first I heard of it was when there was a big to-do about the new version of the "buffalo" nickel, which had been retired from circulation in 1938 and replaced with the current nickel, featuring Thomas Jefferson's home of Monticello on the reverse. So here was all of this excitement about the new and improved buffalo nickel, and I thought it was pretty interesting, although I was surprised that they would opt for such a nostalgic design from decades ago. Au contraire! (That's French for "You call that a Jaguar?!") Apparently, like the new State quarters, there's a whole series of new nickels, five of them in all, commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Lewis & Clark expedition, which took place during Jefferson's presidency. It turns out that the buffalo nickel is the third on the series, so somehow or other, the first two must not have been newsworthy enough to attract much attention. The first design has two hands copied from the "friendly hand-clasp" medallions that the explorers gave out along the way to assure the Natives of their good intentions. The second is a depiction of a keelboat used on the rivers, followed by the ubiquitous buffalo, and then the Pacific Ocean. The last design is taken from William Clark's journal that says "O the joy!" when they first spotted the ocean at the end of their long and difficult journey. So there you have it. If you thought we were finished with Monopoly money when they came out with the State quarters, welcome to the new wooden nickels.
I had taken Monday after Easter off from work, and had grandiose plans for yard work to be accomplished while I was home. Mother Nature did not cooperate (you just can't get good help these days!) so I was outdoors in the garden during all of the torrential downpour that we had throughout the entire day. Thank you not very much! I had wanted to clear out a corner of our backyard that had become so over-grown and impenetrable, that I was expecting to be approached by the producers of the "Survivor" TV series for an upcoming season. The weeds in the ground had gotten so tall, and the bushes along the rock wall had fallen over so far, that the two had met in the middle to create one large dense clump of vegetation that then continued to sprawl in every direction, including right through the neighbor's fence behind it. When I finally chopped my way in there with my clippers, everything was such a tangle of wild rosebushes, hedge, honeysuckle vines, phlox, false asters, ivy, maple saplings, pachysandra and worse, that I thought I would never fight my way through to the other side. I know the Justice Department was relieved when I told them that I didn't uncover either Judge Crater or Jimmy Hoffa, so we can put those rumors to rest right now. And speaking of rest, this would be a good time for one, and remember Daylight Savings this weekend, when we Spring Ahead and lose an hour, so if we're going to rest, we have to do it faster.
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 7:08 PM
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