Paris In The Spring
Hello World,
Well, it's certainly a sad state of affairs around here when you don't even have the weather to complain about, and that's a plain fact. Even I would have to say that the conditions have been very pleasant for days on end, with warm sun and gentle breezes, and nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, if Paris Hilton hadn't gone back to prison, there'd be nothing whatsoever to talk about, and this whole note would quickly degenerate into a motley assortment of bad limericks and cookie recipes, and I'm sure no one wants to see that. So thank you, Paris Hilton, for providing the tabloid fodder that keeps the media occupied, and making the world safe from a lack of celebrity indiscretions.
Everyone knows by now that we have a new telephone system at the hospital, with all new phones and even shiny new telephone numbers to go with them. I just found out that our old numbers are going to be in effect for 15 months, I suppose, to give all of us time to notify everyone and replace their stationery and business cards with the new information. Many of the internal extensions for departments or individuals have remained the same, for instance, in Purchasing where I work, which I found very handy. But other numbers were changed, and to help the staff keep abreast of the changes, there was an interim telephone directory posted on the hospital's web page, so everyone could have access to the most up-to-date information available. I thought this would be a useful document to have on hand, so I downloaded it to my computer, and then printed it, and even entertained the idea of making extra copies for some of our small sister departments that I knew did not have computers to access this information. That idea went by the boards at lightning speed, when I found the interim directory weighed in at a hefty 77 pages, so I printed up my own copy and left it at that. It very conveniently lists the outside line and extension number for each department or person, plus the new number, or the same number if it stayed the same. So far, my favorite part is that when you look up Administration, you find the President is identified as Barbara Langbein, who is one of the secretaries, and Mr. Spicer, who is our CEO, listed as her assistant. The hospital wags were quick to point out that the directory finally got it right, giving tacit acknowledgment to the power behind the throne. You go, girl!
Also at work, alert readers may remember when I went to one of the employee blood drives in the Auditorium, and was surprised to find it quiet and sparsely attended, after swearing off them 6 months earlier when I went to one that was crowded and raucous. (In fact, it was in my note from 10/28/05, so you can just feel free to go right ahead and look it up, and I'll wait ..... dum de dum de dum de dah dah de dum ..... ) Anyway, so few employees showed up for that one that the coordinator of the event said that I stood a very good chance of winning one of the raffle prizes, but of course, I scoffed at that ridiculous notion, because everyone knows that I never win anything. You can imagine my surprise then, when I got a call afterward saying that I had in fact won a prize, and when I hurried over to the Lab to pick it up, it turned out to be a very lovely tabletop fountain that is decorative as well as functional. I was going to bring it home and set it up, but despaired of finding some place that I could enjoy it without the cats reducing it to a shattered wreck. Then I realized that where I really needed its soothing serenity was at work, so I put it on the corner of my desk, where it is a constant joy and a conversation starter par excellence.
I was reminded of all of this recently when I called to make an appointment to go to the Blood Bank, since they discontinued the employee blood drives, and so if you want to donate, you have the option go on your own. They assured me that Friday afternoon of Memorial Day weekend would be just fine, and so I left work early to walk over to the other building, and even though I arrived at the appointed time, they kept me waiting for an hour and then said that they couldn't take me. Even worse, they had already subjected me to the whole pre-registration regimen, such as the interminable paperwork, plus taking my blood pressure and temperature, as well as the finger stick which I hate, and after all that, they told me to come back Tuesday instead. So I trudged back over there on Tuesday afternoon, and started all over again with the paperwork, blood pressure, temperature, finger stick and all the rest of it, before they finally got their pound of flesh, or rather, pint of blood for their troubles. In any case, it was while I was speaking with the nice friendly phlebotomist that I told her about winning the tabletop fountain at one of the employee blood drives, and I was so surprised since I never win anything, and for the first time, it hit me all at once. That employee blood drive in October 2005 was the very last one they had at the hospital, and there hasn't been one since. A rational person might think that was an overly extreme way to make sure that I wouldn't win any more raffle prizes, but the alternative theory strikes me as being too coincidental by half. By golly, I knew all along there would have to be some ugly repercussions for the slip-up that let me win that fountain, and it took until just now for me to realize that they did away with the whole program just because of that. Now, you can call me paranoid (don't you dare!) but I always say that the complete lack of proof just goes to show how well the conspiracy is working.
In other news, we have our friends at the page-a-day calendar to thank for the following, and please go right ahead and visit their web site at www.pageaday.com and see for yourself.
===========================
According to a Sydney name tag distributor,
the most popular cat names in Australia are
strikingly similar to those in the United States.Among the top five names for females of both
countries are Lucy, Missy and Misty; for males,
Max, Sam and Simba rank in the top six spots. ===========================
Well, it's true that we had a family cat who was an orange tabby and named Lucy by a relative, and one of our current cats is named Max, but I can't say that any of those names really hit the mark for me. Missy? Sam? What kind of names are these for cats? I find myself alternately amazed and appalled at the names that people foist upon their pets, and it's a wonder that pet psychiatrists aren't doing a bigger business in fretful felines and mopey mutts. I realize that not everyone would go for some of the names that we have come up with over the years, like Baa-Baa or Copernicus, and I also understand the appeal of a name that has suddenly come into vogue, like Yoda, Kermit, Fonzie or Paris Hilton, for example. But spare me from people with so little imagination that they call their white cat Snowball, their black cat Blackie, or any cat Fluffy, Kitty or Missy, for heaven's sake.
Mind you, in an interesting coincidence, and it might have been that same note about the employee blood drive from October 2005, I stumbled across this intriguing remark: [ I was reminded of that earlier in the week, when I was accosted by a co-worker in the lobby who wanted to show me pictures of her three cats, Angel, Max and Sam. ] Now, honestly, some times you just have to shake your head and wonder. As for myself, I have to figure those Aussies are on to something after all.
Meanwhile, for people who may be wondering what's new and exciting in the world of higher education, and well may you wonder, well, you may wonder no more. Our friends at NYU's School of Continuing and Professional Studies (or NAMBLA, as Jon Stewart always says) have sent us their summer course offerings so that we can all "Make the Most of Summer," as they describe it, "With more than 1,000 opportunities to reshape your future, you can expand your horizons with thought-provoking courses that keep you intellectually sharp, current and competitive." Even the dinosaurs would admit that I'm on board with the idea of keeping intellectually sharp, current and competitive, but along those lines, I admit that I was baffled to discover some of their highlighted suggestions, such as Folklore of New York, Persian, Mini Intensive for Philanthropists, and Improvisation Workshop, which would appear to the untrained observer to fly in the face of this whole sharp, current and competitive concept. Of course, I realize that it's been a long time since the dinosaurs and I were in school, and a lot has certainly changed since then, and not all of it for the better, I can tell you that. But I can still remember a time when a course about Writing A Screenplay In 10 Weeks would be no one's idea of keeping intellectually sharp, current or competitive, and that's just all there is to it. Unless you're Paris Hilton, that is.
Well, it's certainly a sad state of affairs around here when you don't even have the weather to complain about, and that's a plain fact. Even I would have to say that the conditions have been very pleasant for days on end, with warm sun and gentle breezes, and nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, if Paris Hilton hadn't gone back to prison, there'd be nothing whatsoever to talk about, and this whole note would quickly degenerate into a motley assortment of bad limericks and cookie recipes, and I'm sure no one wants to see that. So thank you, Paris Hilton, for providing the tabloid fodder that keeps the media occupied, and making the world safe from a lack of celebrity indiscretions.
Everyone knows by now that we have a new telephone system at the hospital, with all new phones and even shiny new telephone numbers to go with them. I just found out that our old numbers are going to be in effect for 15 months, I suppose, to give all of us time to notify everyone and replace their stationery and business cards with the new information. Many of the internal extensions for departments or individuals have remained the same, for instance, in Purchasing where I work, which I found very handy. But other numbers were changed, and to help the staff keep abreast of the changes, there was an interim telephone directory posted on the hospital's web page, so everyone could have access to the most up-to-date information available. I thought this would be a useful document to have on hand, so I downloaded it to my computer, and then printed it, and even entertained the idea of making extra copies for some of our small sister departments that I knew did not have computers to access this information. That idea went by the boards at lightning speed, when I found the interim directory weighed in at a hefty 77 pages, so I printed up my own copy and left it at that. It very conveniently lists the outside line and extension number for each department or person, plus the new number, or the same number if it stayed the same. So far, my favorite part is that when you look up Administration, you find the President is identified as Barbara Langbein, who is one of the secretaries, and Mr. Spicer, who is our CEO, listed as her assistant. The hospital wags were quick to point out that the directory finally got it right, giving tacit acknowledgment to the power behind the throne. You go, girl!
Also at work, alert readers may remember when I went to one of the employee blood drives in the Auditorium, and was surprised to find it quiet and sparsely attended, after swearing off them 6 months earlier when I went to one that was crowded and raucous. (In fact, it was in my note from 10/28/05, so you can just feel free to go right ahead and look it up, and I'll wait ..... dum de dum de dum de dah dah de dum ..... ) Anyway, so few employees showed up for that one that the coordinator of the event said that I stood a very good chance of winning one of the raffle prizes, but of course, I scoffed at that ridiculous notion, because everyone knows that I never win anything. You can imagine my surprise then, when I got a call afterward saying that I had in fact won a prize, and when I hurried over to the Lab to pick it up, it turned out to be a very lovely tabletop fountain that is decorative as well as functional. I was going to bring it home and set it up, but despaired of finding some place that I could enjoy it without the cats reducing it to a shattered wreck. Then I realized that where I really needed its soothing serenity was at work, so I put it on the corner of my desk, where it is a constant joy and a conversation starter par excellence.
I was reminded of all of this recently when I called to make an appointment to go to the Blood Bank, since they discontinued the employee blood drives, and so if you want to donate, you have the option go on your own. They assured me that Friday afternoon of Memorial Day weekend would be just fine, and so I left work early to walk over to the other building, and even though I arrived at the appointed time, they kept me waiting for an hour and then said that they couldn't take me. Even worse, they had already subjected me to the whole pre-registration regimen, such as the interminable paperwork, plus taking my blood pressure and temperature, as well as the finger stick which I hate, and after all that, they told me to come back Tuesday instead. So I trudged back over there on Tuesday afternoon, and started all over again with the paperwork, blood pressure, temperature, finger stick and all the rest of it, before they finally got their pound of flesh, or rather, pint of blood for their troubles. In any case, it was while I was speaking with the nice friendly phlebotomist that I told her about winning the tabletop fountain at one of the employee blood drives, and I was so surprised since I never win anything, and for the first time, it hit me all at once. That employee blood drive in October 2005 was the very last one they had at the hospital, and there hasn't been one since. A rational person might think that was an overly extreme way to make sure that I wouldn't win any more raffle prizes, but the alternative theory strikes me as being too coincidental by half. By golly, I knew all along there would have to be some ugly repercussions for the slip-up that let me win that fountain, and it took until just now for me to realize that they did away with the whole program just because of that. Now, you can call me paranoid (don't you dare!) but I always say that the complete lack of proof just goes to show how well the conspiracy is working.
In other news, we have our friends at the page-a-day calendar to thank for the following, and please go right ahead and visit their web site at www.pageaday.com and see for yourself.
===========================
According to a Sydney name tag distributor,
the most popular cat names in Australia are
strikingly similar to those in the United States.Among the top five names for females of both
countries are Lucy, Missy and Misty; for males,
Max, Sam and Simba rank in the top six spots. ===========================
Well, it's true that we had a family cat who was an orange tabby and named Lucy by a relative, and one of our current cats is named Max, but I can't say that any of those names really hit the mark for me. Missy? Sam? What kind of names are these for cats? I find myself alternately amazed and appalled at the names that people foist upon their pets, and it's a wonder that pet psychiatrists aren't doing a bigger business in fretful felines and mopey mutts. I realize that not everyone would go for some of the names that we have come up with over the years, like Baa-Baa or Copernicus, and I also understand the appeal of a name that has suddenly come into vogue, like Yoda, Kermit, Fonzie or Paris Hilton, for example. But spare me from people with so little imagination that they call their white cat Snowball, their black cat Blackie, or any cat Fluffy, Kitty or Missy, for heaven's sake.
Mind you, in an interesting coincidence, and it might have been that same note about the employee blood drive from October 2005, I stumbled across this intriguing remark: [ I was reminded of that earlier in the week, when I was accosted by a co-worker in the lobby who wanted to show me pictures of her three cats, Angel, Max and Sam. ] Now, honestly, some times you just have to shake your head and wonder. As for myself, I have to figure those Aussies are on to something after all.
Meanwhile, for people who may be wondering what's new and exciting in the world of higher education, and well may you wonder, well, you may wonder no more. Our friends at NYU's School of Continuing and Professional Studies (or NAMBLA, as Jon Stewart always says) have sent us their summer course offerings so that we can all "Make the Most of Summer," as they describe it, "With more than 1,000 opportunities to reshape your future, you can expand your horizons with thought-provoking courses that keep you intellectually sharp, current and competitive." Even the dinosaurs would admit that I'm on board with the idea of keeping intellectually sharp, current and competitive, but along those lines, I admit that I was baffled to discover some of their highlighted suggestions, such as Folklore of New York, Persian, Mini Intensive for Philanthropists, and Improvisation Workshop, which would appear to the untrained observer to fly in the face of this whole sharp, current and competitive concept. Of course, I realize that it's been a long time since the dinosaurs and I were in school, and a lot has certainly changed since then, and not all of it for the better, I can tell you that. But I can still remember a time when a course about Writing A Screenplay In 10 Weeks would be no one's idea of keeping intellectually sharp, current or competitive, and that's just all there is to it. Unless you're Paris Hilton, that is.
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 1:56 PM
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