Putting On The Dog
Hello World,
Happy September! Who would have believed that we'd be saying that, when it seems like scant moments ago, we were all wishing each other a happy Valentine's Day, Hong Kong Bok Choy or a holly jolly Waitangi Day, and leave off the riots, if you please. It just doesn't seem possible that the Back-To-School season is upon us, with its ubiquitous sales on all of the classics for going back to school, from candy to lumber to jewelry and everything in between. It would be all too easy to scoff at the rampant commercialism of the times (settle down, dinosaurs!) but it's exactly this sort of conspicuous consumption that keeps the economy humming along as it does, in a way that the unfortunate dinosaurs with all their frugality, could never hope to imitate. So let's all get out there and do our part, whether we're technically going back to school or just as glad not to, and ring up those cash registers full of cuckoo clocks, iPods and roller blades. The President's economic advisers thank you, I'm sure.
Speaking of conspicuous consumption, Bill loves this recent news story, which he believes shows a softer side to The Queen of Mean:
===========================
Helmsley Leaves Dog $12 Million in WillAPPosted: 2007-08-29 14:40:57Filed Under: Business NewsNEW YORK (Aug. 29) - Leona Helmsley's dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley's grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire's estate.
Famed hotelier Leona Helmsley, who died Aug. 20, left her dog Trouble $12 million in her will. Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court. She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer. But no one made out better than Trouble, who once appeared in ads for the Helmsley Hotels, and lived up to its name by biting a housekeeper.
============================
Now, I always knew that I had made a seriously wrong turn in my career path somewhere along the way, and figured that I missed the boat by not deciding to become a plumber instead. If I had only known then what I know now, I would have done the sensible thing and applied for the job of Leona Helmsley's dog. That could have been me, being the 12 million dollar bionic dog, and at those prices, I could have been twice as bionic. You know I always say, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
Speaking of who you know, many of us at the bottom of the ladder where I work, were surprised to find the cafeteria closed on Wednesday last week in the middle of the day. We discovered little by little, in a roundabout way and via third-hand hearsay, which would never stand up in a court of law, that there was a barbecue happening outside in the parking lot, which was open to everyone. We all thought this was a dandy idea, and could only have been dandier if the hospital management in its infinite wisdom had let anyone know about it ahead of time, or even at the same time, so we didn't find out about it more or less by accident. One of our co-workers quipped that this was the Employee Appreciation Barbecue, which is why they didn't bother to invite any of the employees.
Earlier this week at work, every department got a blaring memo from Payroll, demanding everyone's cooperation to get their time cards in early, in order to be processed in time for the long holiday weekend. My favorite part was the screaming subject of the memo, not only all in caps, but also bold, and also underlined, which announced for all the world to see: MEMORIAL DAY HOLIDAY PAYROLL. I said to the Payroll manager (we all remember Tom Sangeverionio!) that I wasn't worried about it, because I figured I had about 6 months to get ready for the Memorial Day holiday payroll, which would occur around May of next year. I happen to know the person who sent it out, who in spite of being Executive Secretary to the CFO, is still a perfect example of why the hospital is considered the Queen City's employer of last resort. Otherwise, I would have to wonder if Comrade Sergei and his infernal Russian date machine hadn't been up to his old tricks once again. And don't forget, I recently sent out a memo dated in the year 200, so I ought to know.
While we're on the subject of date-related shenanigans, we have the following entry on August 24th from our friends at wikipedia (please feel free to visit their web site at www.wikipedia.org and see for yourself) with their limitless store of facts and fancy:
==========================
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
1572 – The St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre, a wave of Catholic mob violence against the Huguenots, began, lasting for several months and resulting in an estimated tens of thousands deaths across France.
==========================
By golly, that's one heck of a long day! No wonder it's historic, why, it's practically bionic. You'd think it was a 12 million dollar dog or something. Meanwhile, in other community news, the welcome trend in downward gas prices has continued apace, and any number of local petroleum dispensing establishments have posted rates of $2.99/gal and lower. When I was on Long Island last Saturday, it was not uncommon to see prices ranging in the low $2.80s, which is about 40c cheaper for Regular than just a few months ago in these parts. It certainly is a marked improvement, and a sight for sore eyes, not to mention, sore wallets. Of course, who ever thought we'd be grateful at the prospect of $2.80 gasoline, especially those of us who started driving when a whole gallon of gas was only 28c and they pumped it for you and cleaned your windows besides. Back then, people would drive 20 miles out into the boondocks, and fill up at a station selling gas at 25c, probably saving 60c overall and feeling like a pretty shrewd customer. Now we consider ourselves lucky to get it at $2.80 and pump it ourselves. So I suppose it just goes to prove that the dinosaurs had the last laugh after all, and did not die in vain.
I happened to be in a supermarket while I was on Long Island, and wandering aimlessly in the aisles, as I often do when I lose my concentration, which I find is a byproduct of supermarkets for me. At one point, I found myself in the aisle with the frozen foods, and couldn't help but notice the display of Maccabee Kosher Passover Pizza. Obviously, it's nowhere near Passover, which is in the spring, so I expect this must be a year-round treat for anyone in the market for Kosher pizza. Personally, I wouldn't think there would be much of a demand for this frozen comestible, but we can't overlook the possibility that the Kosher convenience food demographic is a force to be reckoned with. Sort of like a 12 million dollar bionic dog, only without the diamond collar. After all, when you've really got it, you don't need to flaunt it.
Happy September! Who would have believed that we'd be saying that, when it seems like scant moments ago, we were all wishing each other a happy Valentine's Day, Hong Kong Bok Choy or a holly jolly Waitangi Day, and leave off the riots, if you please. It just doesn't seem possible that the Back-To-School season is upon us, with its ubiquitous sales on all of the classics for going back to school, from candy to lumber to jewelry and everything in between. It would be all too easy to scoff at the rampant commercialism of the times (settle down, dinosaurs!) but it's exactly this sort of conspicuous consumption that keeps the economy humming along as it does, in a way that the unfortunate dinosaurs with all their frugality, could never hope to imitate. So let's all get out there and do our part, whether we're technically going back to school or just as glad not to, and ring up those cash registers full of cuckoo clocks, iPods and roller blades. The President's economic advisers thank you, I'm sure.
Speaking of conspicuous consumption, Bill loves this recent news story, which he believes shows a softer side to The Queen of Mean:
===========================
Helmsley Leaves Dog $12 Million in WillAPPosted: 2007-08-29 14:40:57Filed Under: Business NewsNEW YORK (Aug. 29) - Leona Helmsley's dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley's grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire's estate.
Famed hotelier Leona Helmsley, who died Aug. 20, left her dog Trouble $12 million in her will. Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court. She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer. But no one made out better than Trouble, who once appeared in ads for the Helmsley Hotels, and lived up to its name by biting a housekeeper.
============================
Now, I always knew that I had made a seriously wrong turn in my career path somewhere along the way, and figured that I missed the boat by not deciding to become a plumber instead. If I had only known then what I know now, I would have done the sensible thing and applied for the job of Leona Helmsley's dog. That could have been me, being the 12 million dollar bionic dog, and at those prices, I could have been twice as bionic. You know I always say, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
Speaking of who you know, many of us at the bottom of the ladder where I work, were surprised to find the cafeteria closed on Wednesday last week in the middle of the day. We discovered little by little, in a roundabout way and via third-hand hearsay, which would never stand up in a court of law, that there was a barbecue happening outside in the parking lot, which was open to everyone. We all thought this was a dandy idea, and could only have been dandier if the hospital management in its infinite wisdom had let anyone know about it ahead of time, or even at the same time, so we didn't find out about it more or less by accident. One of our co-workers quipped that this was the Employee Appreciation Barbecue, which is why they didn't bother to invite any of the employees.
Earlier this week at work, every department got a blaring memo from Payroll, demanding everyone's cooperation to get their time cards in early, in order to be processed in time for the long holiday weekend. My favorite part was the screaming subject of the memo, not only all in caps, but also bold, and also underlined, which announced for all the world to see: MEMORIAL DAY HOLIDAY PAYROLL. I said to the Payroll manager (we all remember Tom Sangeverionio!) that I wasn't worried about it, because I figured I had about 6 months to get ready for the Memorial Day holiday payroll, which would occur around May of next year. I happen to know the person who sent it out, who in spite of being Executive Secretary to the CFO, is still a perfect example of why the hospital is considered the Queen City's employer of last resort. Otherwise, I would have to wonder if Comrade Sergei and his infernal Russian date machine hadn't been up to his old tricks once again. And don't forget, I recently sent out a memo dated in the year 200, so I ought to know.
While we're on the subject of date-related shenanigans, we have the following entry on August 24th from our friends at wikipedia (please feel free to visit their web site at www.wikipedia.org and see for yourself) with their limitless store of facts and fancy:
==========================
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
1572 – The St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre, a wave of Catholic mob violence against the Huguenots, began, lasting for several months and resulting in an estimated tens of thousands deaths across France.
==========================
By golly, that's one heck of a long day! No wonder it's historic, why, it's practically bionic. You'd think it was a 12 million dollar dog or something. Meanwhile, in other community news, the welcome trend in downward gas prices has continued apace, and any number of local petroleum dispensing establishments have posted rates of $2.99/gal and lower. When I was on Long Island last Saturday, it was not uncommon to see prices ranging in the low $2.80s, which is about 40c cheaper for Regular than just a few months ago in these parts. It certainly is a marked improvement, and a sight for sore eyes, not to mention, sore wallets. Of course, who ever thought we'd be grateful at the prospect of $2.80 gasoline, especially those of us who started driving when a whole gallon of gas was only 28c and they pumped it for you and cleaned your windows besides. Back then, people would drive 20 miles out into the boondocks, and fill up at a station selling gas at 25c, probably saving 60c overall and feeling like a pretty shrewd customer. Now we consider ourselves lucky to get it at $2.80 and pump it ourselves. So I suppose it just goes to prove that the dinosaurs had the last laugh after all, and did not die in vain.
I happened to be in a supermarket while I was on Long Island, and wandering aimlessly in the aisles, as I often do when I lose my concentration, which I find is a byproduct of supermarkets for me. At one point, I found myself in the aisle with the frozen foods, and couldn't help but notice the display of Maccabee Kosher Passover Pizza. Obviously, it's nowhere near Passover, which is in the spring, so I expect this must be a year-round treat for anyone in the market for Kosher pizza. Personally, I wouldn't think there would be much of a demand for this frozen comestible, but we can't overlook the possibility that the Kosher convenience food demographic is a force to be reckoned with. Sort of like a 12 million dollar bionic dog, only without the diamond collar. After all, when you've really got it, you don't need to flaunt it.
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 9:31 PM
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