Rat Race
Hello World,
On the face of it, the idea that it could already be the second week in January would appear to be nothing more than a cruel joke at our expense by the nefarious Comrade Sergei and his infernal date machine, but as jokes go, this one is no laughing matter. All indications point to this being the middle of January, as unthinkable as that might seem, or perhaps, alarming might be the better term under the circumstances. Of course, it doesn't help that the weather has been all over the place lately, ranging from frigid temperatures and blustery winds, to brilliant sunshine and 60 degrees, then chilly and pouring rain, all in the same week, so you just don't know what to expect next. One thing we weren't expecting, although we certainly should by now, Bill and I were at the supermarket on January 4th, and the seasonal aisle was awash in red satin hearts, Cupids and more lace doilies than you could shake a heart-shaped lollipop at, even if you wanted to. There was a veritable cornucopia of Valentine's Day candy of every description, and many which defied description, presumably to suit every taste and price range. It wasn't even Epiphany, and Christmas had been summarily dismissed like a cashier caught with his hand in the till, and relegated to the dust-heap of ancient history in this up-to-the-nano-second culture. Alas, poor Christmas! Now we'll have to wait until at least July before they start dragging out the candy canes and holly garland again.
It seems that ever since we came up with the idea to record the Rangers games, and only watch them if they win, they haven't won a game since, which we personally believe is part of a wide-ranging conspiracy on the part of our TiVo so that it doesn't have to waste valuable disk space by recording things that we want, but instead has more room to record the things that it chooses for us, which we invariably don't want to see. It's not that the TiVo is such a slow learner, although that's what they would like you to believe. More likely, the TiVo people are being paid off by the folks at "Lingo," "The Nanny" and "How It's Made" to keep recording these programs for us, and convince us that we like them, in spite of our repeated indications to the contrary. Of course at this point, we probably would watch "Dirty Jobs" or "Iron Chef," or whatever it would take to appease the TiVo gods and salvage whatever is left of the Rangers season, but it may already be too late. I'm thinking the ratings for "The Nanny" in Detroit must be through the roof.
Meanwhile at work, I actually took down the little Christmas tree in the hallway, and put it away with all of the decorations, last week and all in one fell swoop. This is in stark contrast to previous years when we had instead the famous wandering Christmas tree, that would get rolled out of the hallway into a spare office or closet, and just stay like that for the entire year, until it got rolled out again for the next Christmas. In fact, it occurred to me that this is probably the first time since 2003 that this has happened, so I consider it a pretty big deal. Alert readers may recall that at the end of 2004, I was on jury duty for two months and only came to work at night and on weekends. It was in 2005 when our clerk was injured at the end of the year and didn't come back for 6 months, and in 2006 after she had retired, I was still breaking in the replacement clerk with decidedly mixed results. So it would not be overstating the case to say that we've really turned a corner in our job situation for the new year, which would be considered a big improvement at least by some of us. I happen to know that I, for one, am unanimous in that.
Last week, I finally took the bull by the horns, figuratively speaking at least, with the plan to re-arrange my computer cart or know the reason why. The cart is only about 36" wide, but includes a hutch so that it's almost 5-feet tall, and has a variety of shelves, slots, cubbies and trays to fit your computer and all of your assorted peripherals all in one handy spot. It even has wheels, so that you can roll it from one place to another, but mostly that comes in handy when you want to push it away from the wall to get at the back of the equipment. And that was basically where my problem was, with the rat's nest of wires, cords, lines and cables all tangled up in a Gordian Knot of impenetrable complexity, coming out of the back of every piece of hardware or accessory, and sometimes two or three at a clip. And I don't mind saying, the rats didn't think much of it either. It had gotten to the point where any time I shifted anything on the cart, the speakers would both go flying, because their cords had gotten so enmeshed in the whole quagmire that they could just barely reach the surface of the desk and stay there only tenuously. When I first moved this cart into the living room, it was fine with the computer and monitor and printer, and even with the speakers and a scanner and modem, it was still manageable. But then we signed up for DSL, and between all the wiring for that and the router, plus the second printer and USB hub, it had all gotten to be just too much. So one day, I just pushed it out from the wall and sat behind it, unplugging everything and separating all the cords to make the most direct connections possible between the computer, the power strips, the hubs or wherever things needed to go. I grouped adjacent plugs on the same power strip, and segregated out anything like lights or radios that were nearby, but not physically attached to the cart. When I was finished, there was plenty of room for everything, and I needed a lot less length of wiring to make all of the connections, so I tied up the excess cords with twisty-ties and tacked them up out of the way. Of course, it looked great, very neat and presentable, but the acid test came when I turned everything back on, and I was relieved that it all worked fine after all that. I haven't had a bit of trouble with it since the restructuring, and the speakers have managed to stay put for a change, and a welcome one at that. And from now on, the rats are on their own.
For anyone who was wondering what's new and exciting in the wide world of signs these days, and well may they wonder, we can always count on Bill to give us the inside scoop, in the true spirit of truth and justice, with no regard to his own personal safety. He had this to say about an order from one of their customers who wanted signs for his restaurant, and it all began when his boss took the order over the phone from someone named Nazieh, which as Bill would like to point out, even someone with the IQ of a houseplant " ... might question something that someone named 'Nazieh' said. But not our resident suit!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
But I did have two bright spots (at other's expense, so there goes my karma!)
The sign says:
=====
ALPS MANAGEMENT
EMPLOYEE MEAL POLICY
Breakfast
Sandwich, Small Drink & Hash Browns
Discluding Breakfast Deluxe
Lunch
Sandwich, Fries & Drink
Discluding Angus Burger, DBL QLBs
10 pc. Chicken Nuggets & 5 pc. Chicken Selects
If Dollar Menu is chosen, still one sandwich, frie and dessert.
=====
Well, I made some changes, not discluding "discluding" itself. He can be SO funny. Later on he came over to ask me why people are now pronouncing things differently (like saying niche as "neesh" instead of "nitch"). He said it sticks in his wife's crawl. I said I bet it would!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, we can't hope for much in the way of Bill's boss being bumped up the ladder, or lured away by another company, since he's the owner of the business. But I can tell you that if Nazieh ever gets tired of the food service industry, he can always get a job at CVS, where I'm sure he would fit right in. I say that because we were there Friday night after dinner, and bought a variety of items, as we always do. The helpful cashier was packing our purchases into a plastic shopping bag, but didn't want to over-stuff it and perhaps cause an accident. But Bill, who is nothing if not ecologically minded, told the young man that he was sure it would all fit in one bag, and we would be very careful with it on the way to the car. The cashier was quick to oblige, fitting the rest of the items in around the sides, and then in a textbook example of defeating the purpose, proceeded to double-bag it by slipping it inside a second bag, and handed the whole thing to us with a smile. Yes, I could see our friend Nazieh's fingerprints all over that transaction, and I have no doubt if he was working there, that just like my computer cart, he'd soon have the place all tied up in knots. Discluding the rats, of course.
On the face of it, the idea that it could already be the second week in January would appear to be nothing more than a cruel joke at our expense by the nefarious Comrade Sergei and his infernal date machine, but as jokes go, this one is no laughing matter. All indications point to this being the middle of January, as unthinkable as that might seem, or perhaps, alarming might be the better term under the circumstances. Of course, it doesn't help that the weather has been all over the place lately, ranging from frigid temperatures and blustery winds, to brilliant sunshine and 60 degrees, then chilly and pouring rain, all in the same week, so you just don't know what to expect next. One thing we weren't expecting, although we certainly should by now, Bill and I were at the supermarket on January 4th, and the seasonal aisle was awash in red satin hearts, Cupids and more lace doilies than you could shake a heart-shaped lollipop at, even if you wanted to. There was a veritable cornucopia of Valentine's Day candy of every description, and many which defied description, presumably to suit every taste and price range. It wasn't even Epiphany, and Christmas had been summarily dismissed like a cashier caught with his hand in the till, and relegated to the dust-heap of ancient history in this up-to-the-nano-second culture. Alas, poor Christmas! Now we'll have to wait until at least July before they start dragging out the candy canes and holly garland again.
It seems that ever since we came up with the idea to record the Rangers games, and only watch them if they win, they haven't won a game since, which we personally believe is part of a wide-ranging conspiracy on the part of our TiVo so that it doesn't have to waste valuable disk space by recording things that we want, but instead has more room to record the things that it chooses for us, which we invariably don't want to see. It's not that the TiVo is such a slow learner, although that's what they would like you to believe. More likely, the TiVo people are being paid off by the folks at "Lingo," "The Nanny" and "How It's Made" to keep recording these programs for us, and convince us that we like them, in spite of our repeated indications to the contrary. Of course at this point, we probably would watch "Dirty Jobs" or "Iron Chef," or whatever it would take to appease the TiVo gods and salvage whatever is left of the Rangers season, but it may already be too late. I'm thinking the ratings for "The Nanny" in Detroit must be through the roof.
Meanwhile at work, I actually took down the little Christmas tree in the hallway, and put it away with all of the decorations, last week and all in one fell swoop. This is in stark contrast to previous years when we had instead the famous wandering Christmas tree, that would get rolled out of the hallway into a spare office or closet, and just stay like that for the entire year, until it got rolled out again for the next Christmas. In fact, it occurred to me that this is probably the first time since 2003 that this has happened, so I consider it a pretty big deal. Alert readers may recall that at the end of 2004, I was on jury duty for two months and only came to work at night and on weekends. It was in 2005 when our clerk was injured at the end of the year and didn't come back for 6 months, and in 2006 after she had retired, I was still breaking in the replacement clerk with decidedly mixed results. So it would not be overstating the case to say that we've really turned a corner in our job situation for the new year, which would be considered a big improvement at least by some of us. I happen to know that I, for one, am unanimous in that.
Last week, I finally took the bull by the horns, figuratively speaking at least, with the plan to re-arrange my computer cart or know the reason why. The cart is only about 36" wide, but includes a hutch so that it's almost 5-feet tall, and has a variety of shelves, slots, cubbies and trays to fit your computer and all of your assorted peripherals all in one handy spot. It even has wheels, so that you can roll it from one place to another, but mostly that comes in handy when you want to push it away from the wall to get at the back of the equipment. And that was basically where my problem was, with the rat's nest of wires, cords, lines and cables all tangled up in a Gordian Knot of impenetrable complexity, coming out of the back of every piece of hardware or accessory, and sometimes two or three at a clip. And I don't mind saying, the rats didn't think much of it either. It had gotten to the point where any time I shifted anything on the cart, the speakers would both go flying, because their cords had gotten so enmeshed in the whole quagmire that they could just barely reach the surface of the desk and stay there only tenuously. When I first moved this cart into the living room, it was fine with the computer and monitor and printer, and even with the speakers and a scanner and modem, it was still manageable. But then we signed up for DSL, and between all the wiring for that and the router, plus the second printer and USB hub, it had all gotten to be just too much. So one day, I just pushed it out from the wall and sat behind it, unplugging everything and separating all the cords to make the most direct connections possible between the computer, the power strips, the hubs or wherever things needed to go. I grouped adjacent plugs on the same power strip, and segregated out anything like lights or radios that were nearby, but not physically attached to the cart. When I was finished, there was plenty of room for everything, and I needed a lot less length of wiring to make all of the connections, so I tied up the excess cords with twisty-ties and tacked them up out of the way. Of course, it looked great, very neat and presentable, but the acid test came when I turned everything back on, and I was relieved that it all worked fine after all that. I haven't had a bit of trouble with it since the restructuring, and the speakers have managed to stay put for a change, and a welcome one at that. And from now on, the rats are on their own.
For anyone who was wondering what's new and exciting in the wide world of signs these days, and well may they wonder, we can always count on Bill to give us the inside scoop, in the true spirit of truth and justice, with no regard to his own personal safety. He had this to say about an order from one of their customers who wanted signs for his restaurant, and it all began when his boss took the order over the phone from someone named Nazieh, which as Bill would like to point out, even someone with the IQ of a houseplant " ... might question something that someone named 'Nazieh' said. But not our resident suit!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
But I did have two bright spots (at other's expense, so there goes my karma!)
The sign says:
=====
ALPS MANAGEMENT
EMPLOYEE MEAL POLICY
Breakfast
Sandwich, Small Drink & Hash Browns
Discluding Breakfast Deluxe
Lunch
Sandwich, Fries & Drink
Discluding Angus Burger, DBL QLBs
10 pc. Chicken Nuggets & 5 pc. Chicken Selects
If Dollar Menu is chosen, still one sandwich, frie and dessert.
=====
Well, I made some changes, not discluding "discluding" itself. He can be SO funny. Later on he came over to ask me why people are now pronouncing things differently (like saying niche as "neesh" instead of "nitch"). He said it sticks in his wife's crawl. I said I bet it would!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, we can't hope for much in the way of Bill's boss being bumped up the ladder, or lured away by another company, since he's the owner of the business. But I can tell you that if Nazieh ever gets tired of the food service industry, he can always get a job at CVS, where I'm sure he would fit right in. I say that because we were there Friday night after dinner, and bought a variety of items, as we always do. The helpful cashier was packing our purchases into a plastic shopping bag, but didn't want to over-stuff it and perhaps cause an accident. But Bill, who is nothing if not ecologically minded, told the young man that he was sure it would all fit in one bag, and we would be very careful with it on the way to the car. The cashier was quick to oblige, fitting the rest of the items in around the sides, and then in a textbook example of defeating the purpose, proceeded to double-bag it by slipping it inside a second bag, and handed the whole thing to us with a smile. Yes, I could see our friend Nazieh's fingerprints all over that transaction, and I have no doubt if he was working there, that just like my computer cart, he'd soon have the place all tied up in knots. Discluding the rats, of course.
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 6:25 PM
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