Tooth And Nail
Hello World,
As far as I know, no one has ever said, "Beware the Ides of May," and I'm certainly not going to be the one to start now. But I will say that it does seem that there have been some strange times afoot, so being somewhat wary might not be such a bad idea after all. That cautionary warning reminds me of safety-related moment on "24-Hour Design," which I was watching on the HGTV network earlier this week, when the renovation team wanted the homeowner to help them build a cabinet, so they asked him if he had ever used a nail gun. "But of course," he replied smoothly, while the camera panned over the crew, all looking suitably impressed at this unexpected declaration. After a pause, he continued, "And I have the hospital records to prove it." That broke everyone up, and with good reason, but we wouldn't want to make light of safety concerns, so please remember this advice when using a nail gun: DON'T. A safety-conscious nation thanks you.
Of course, everyone knows how I hate to be an alarmist or anything, and I'm sure that no one wants to hear that Memorial Day weekend will be next week already, but there's no avoiding the reality of the situation, try as I might. This year, the last day of the month falls on a Sunday, and the next day would normally be when Memorial Day would be observed, but that would be June 1st instead of being in May. Of course, as Bill is quick to point out, since they don't celebrate traditional Memorial Day on May 30 anymore, what difference does it make what day they pick anyway, and there's no reason that June 1st can't be just as good as any other. But that's apparently against the "movable feast rules" or something, so instead they count backwards a whole week to the last Monday in May, which is the 25th, and is the earliest that you can have Memorial Day, since they started moving it around like a poor relation that no one wanted to get stuck with. So Memorial Day weekend will certainly be here before we know it, and if the weather holds up the way it has been around here lately, all of those people who launch the summer season by going to the beach for the holiday weekend, are going to come back white with frostbite, rather than red with sunburn.
It's true that I keep complaining about the weather, and that's certainly not because I'm a paid spokesperson for the replacement weather provider who's waiting in the wings and ready to take over, whenever the current climate retires or gets a better offer or whatever. And believe me, if there was any way to fire the weather and replace it with something better, that would have happened a long time ago, certainly by the Ice Ages, at least if the dinosaurs and I had anything to say about it, by golly. No, there's simply no point in complaining about the weather, which is not only a monopoly, but like the Public Service Commission, impossible to oust from its spot, besides being immune to flattery and threats alike. However, it must be said that as much as I have been displeased with the seasonal conditions in the local area, it certainly hasn't put a damper on our botanical neighbors, which have found plenty to their liking. The dogwoods have been putting on a show for weeks, and while the chestnuts have only just started to get underway, they seem primed for a big blowout as well. Our wandering wisteria, which is usually a nuisance that wouldn't win any popularity contests around the yard, has adorned itself with clusters of lavender flowers all over, filling the air with its heavenly fragrance. Everywhere you look, the azaleas have burst into eye-popping colors in every shade of the rainbow, from the palest pinks and dainty whites, to the deepest reds and beyond. Years ago, I bought a tiny azalea at the supermarket and planted it in the yard, but it never got much bigger and didn't bloom. But it's blooming this year, by golly, and looking like it means business. It's just a riot of nature run amok, so the weather must be doing something right after all. And my apologies to the understudy weather, still waiting in the wings just hoping for its big chance ..... now, what are you planning to do with that nail gun?
Speaking of making the most of their chances, I was pulled up short by a story in our local newspaper last week about area restaurants that had gotten good reviews in the new Zagat guide. You can imagine my surprise when I got to this paragraph: "The survey also named the top newcomers to the region, including Tarry Lodge in Port Chester, Spadaro in New Rochelle and Chutney Masala in Irvington." Alert readers may recall our visit to Spadaro on our anniversary (please feel free to go right ahead and look it up, I'll wait) where we found the food was terrible, the service worse, and the whole restaurant was about the size of a closet. It's a well-known fact that satire goes right over my head, but if they were serious about this, I think it would have to call into question the validity of all of their other reviews, if they can recommend a dive like Spadaro with a straight face.
It might have been in that same newspaper that they ran a front-page story about fare increases on public transportation that had been approved by the transit board. It went on to state: "MTA Chairman H. Dale Hemmerdinger said the plan was not perfect, but it put riders in a much better position than last month, when the board proposed fare increases as high as 30 percent." Please! Will somebody kindly tell me that the MTA Chairman is not something called "Hemmerdinger" of all things! That sounds like a character from one of those new animated movies about space aliens, and back in the days when there were standards, someone with a name like that would keep out of the public spotlight, and not call attention to themselves by showing up on the front page of the newspaper. Hemmerdinger, indeed. Next they'll be telling me that Burghermeister Meisterburgher is the new Chancellor of the school system.
We have Bill to thank for the following commentary on patient confidentiality:
==========================
And it's also funny that your remark
about this COO guy being MIA
engendered that entire HIPAA-violating
FYI that was, indeed, TMI.
(Of course, that's just my Initial response.)
==========================
Well, he certainly hit the nail right on the head with that nail gun, and in his usual fashion, PDQ besides. Not resting on his laurels, he also weighed in with this food-related observation:
=========================
My favorite was probably the Franchise Chicken and
I wondered if Tom Seaver had decided to branch out
from his wine business ("C'mon in and order a #41 --
that's a Bucket and a Bottle for only $41 Buck-buck-bucks!")
=========================
There's obviously no way to improve upon that, although if he were to go into business with Ducky Medwick, Goose Gossage and Larry Bird, we couldn't rule out the possibility of fowl play. (Ooof!) Hey, put down that nail gun!
While we're on the subject of chickens, I recently got a note from a colleague on a financial matter, who wondered about the likelihood of "recooping our money." Frankly, I wasn't in favor of letting our money out of the coop in the first place, so I figure that "recooping" it would probably be a good idea. Of course, with my luck, they'd put the money back in the coop, and then put the fox in charge of the hen house, who would soon fox trot off with our easy pickings, leaving us with an empty nest egg and no golden goose. I suppose this is why they invented banks in the first place, although these days, it seems that the banks are taking more of our money than they're giving, so maybe the coop idea doesn't sound so bad after all, as long as we can keep the foxes at bay. Say, where did that nail gun get to?
Elle
As far as I know, no one has ever said, "Beware the Ides of May," and I'm certainly not going to be the one to start now. But I will say that it does seem that there have been some strange times afoot, so being somewhat wary might not be such a bad idea after all. That cautionary warning reminds me of safety-related moment on "24-Hour Design," which I was watching on the HGTV network earlier this week, when the renovation team wanted the homeowner to help them build a cabinet, so they asked him if he had ever used a nail gun. "But of course," he replied smoothly, while the camera panned over the crew, all looking suitably impressed at this unexpected declaration. After a pause, he continued, "And I have the hospital records to prove it." That broke everyone up, and with good reason, but we wouldn't want to make light of safety concerns, so please remember this advice when using a nail gun: DON'T. A safety-conscious nation thanks you.
Of course, everyone knows how I hate to be an alarmist or anything, and I'm sure that no one wants to hear that Memorial Day weekend will be next week already, but there's no avoiding the reality of the situation, try as I might. This year, the last day of the month falls on a Sunday, and the next day would normally be when Memorial Day would be observed, but that would be June 1st instead of being in May. Of course, as Bill is quick to point out, since they don't celebrate traditional Memorial Day on May 30 anymore, what difference does it make what day they pick anyway, and there's no reason that June 1st can't be just as good as any other. But that's apparently against the "movable feast rules" or something, so instead they count backwards a whole week to the last Monday in May, which is the 25th, and is the earliest that you can have Memorial Day, since they started moving it around like a poor relation that no one wanted to get stuck with. So Memorial Day weekend will certainly be here before we know it, and if the weather holds up the way it has been around here lately, all of those people who launch the summer season by going to the beach for the holiday weekend, are going to come back white with frostbite, rather than red with sunburn.
It's true that I keep complaining about the weather, and that's certainly not because I'm a paid spokesperson for the replacement weather provider who's waiting in the wings and ready to take over, whenever the current climate retires or gets a better offer or whatever. And believe me, if there was any way to fire the weather and replace it with something better, that would have happened a long time ago, certainly by the Ice Ages, at least if the dinosaurs and I had anything to say about it, by golly. No, there's simply no point in complaining about the weather, which is not only a monopoly, but like the Public Service Commission, impossible to oust from its spot, besides being immune to flattery and threats alike. However, it must be said that as much as I have been displeased with the seasonal conditions in the local area, it certainly hasn't put a damper on our botanical neighbors, which have found plenty to their liking. The dogwoods have been putting on a show for weeks, and while the chestnuts have only just started to get underway, they seem primed for a big blowout as well. Our wandering wisteria, which is usually a nuisance that wouldn't win any popularity contests around the yard, has adorned itself with clusters of lavender flowers all over, filling the air with its heavenly fragrance. Everywhere you look, the azaleas have burst into eye-popping colors in every shade of the rainbow, from the palest pinks and dainty whites, to the deepest reds and beyond. Years ago, I bought a tiny azalea at the supermarket and planted it in the yard, but it never got much bigger and didn't bloom. But it's blooming this year, by golly, and looking like it means business. It's just a riot of nature run amok, so the weather must be doing something right after all. And my apologies to the understudy weather, still waiting in the wings just hoping for its big chance ..... now, what are you planning to do with that nail gun?
Speaking of making the most of their chances, I was pulled up short by a story in our local newspaper last week about area restaurants that had gotten good reviews in the new Zagat guide. You can imagine my surprise when I got to this paragraph: "The survey also named the top newcomers to the region, including Tarry Lodge in Port Chester, Spadaro in New Rochelle and Chutney Masala in Irvington." Alert readers may recall our visit to Spadaro on our anniversary (please feel free to go right ahead and look it up, I'll wait) where we found the food was terrible, the service worse, and the whole restaurant was about the size of a closet. It's a well-known fact that satire goes right over my head, but if they were serious about this, I think it would have to call into question the validity of all of their other reviews, if they can recommend a dive like Spadaro with a straight face.
It might have been in that same newspaper that they ran a front-page story about fare increases on public transportation that had been approved by the transit board. It went on to state: "MTA Chairman H. Dale Hemmerdinger said the plan was not perfect, but it put riders in a much better position than last month, when the board proposed fare increases as high as 30 percent." Please! Will somebody kindly tell me that the MTA Chairman is not something called "Hemmerdinger" of all things! That sounds like a character from one of those new animated movies about space aliens, and back in the days when there were standards, someone with a name like that would keep out of the public spotlight, and not call attention to themselves by showing up on the front page of the newspaper. Hemmerdinger, indeed. Next they'll be telling me that Burghermeister Meisterburgher is the new Chancellor of the school system.
We have Bill to thank for the following commentary on patient confidentiality:
==========================
And it's also funny that your remark
about this COO guy being MIA
engendered that entire HIPAA-violating
FYI that was, indeed, TMI.
(Of course, that's just my Initial response.)
==========================
Well, he certainly hit the nail right on the head with that nail gun, and in his usual fashion, PDQ besides. Not resting on his laurels, he also weighed in with this food-related observation:
=========================
My favorite was probably the Franchise Chicken and
I wondered if Tom Seaver had decided to branch out
from his wine business ("C'mon in and order a #41 --
that's a Bucket and a Bottle for only $41 Buck-buck-bucks!")
=========================
There's obviously no way to improve upon that, although if he were to go into business with Ducky Medwick, Goose Gossage and Larry Bird, we couldn't rule out the possibility of fowl play. (Ooof!) Hey, put down that nail gun!
While we're on the subject of chickens, I recently got a note from a colleague on a financial matter, who wondered about the likelihood of "recooping our money." Frankly, I wasn't in favor of letting our money out of the coop in the first place, so I figure that "recooping" it would probably be a good idea. Of course, with my luck, they'd put the money back in the coop, and then put the fox in charge of the hen house, who would soon fox trot off with our easy pickings, leaving us with an empty nest egg and no golden goose. I suppose this is why they invented banks in the first place, although these days, it seems that the banks are taking more of our money than they're giving, so maybe the coop idea doesn't sound so bad after all, as long as we can keep the foxes at bay. Say, where did that nail gun get to?
Elle
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 8:19 PM
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