Penny Arcade
Happy Jewish New Year! Thursday was the time for you to wish "L'Shana Tovah" to all of your friends, as our Jewish brothers and sisters welcomed in the Year 5771, on what they describe as the first day of Tishrei, the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar. This year it began at sunset on September 8 and runs until nightfall on September 10, and like a lot of movable feasts, is based on some arcane formula that sets it 163 days after the first day of Passover. As a result of that formula, it can never be earlier than
September 5, as it was in 1899 and will be in 2013, or later than October 5, as it was in 1967 and will be in 2043, God willing. We have our friends at wikipedia.org for these Rosh Hashanah tidbits, and there's plenty more where those came from, believe me, so you're welcome to visit their web site and check it out for yourself. The article begins by translating the words and providing the correct pronunciation, explaining its religious significance and Biblical references, and describing its connection with Yom Kippur later in the month. The paragraph concludes with this arresting statement: "On this holiday there is no traffic on the roads." I suppose that might be true in one place or another, but I'm thinking it would come as a big surprise to the rest of the world, especially say, Vatican City or Mecca, for instance. Not that a world-wide traffic-free holiday would be such a bad idea after all, and might actually be an occasion that both the environmentalists and liquor companies could all agree on.
Speaking of occasions, Monday was Labor Day, and many people were able to enjoy a very nice three-day weekend, in fact, all three days were perfectly delightful, which is extremely unusual for holiday weekends around here. Even more so, since the dire reports of Hurricane Earl were splashed all over the media for two weeks, leading everyone to fear the worst, batten down the hatches, head for the hills, or just lay in a supply of Zachys famous Back-to-School wine specials and drink themselves into a stupor. The fact is that nowadays, everyone exaggerates the severity of the weather forecasts, for the sole purpose of selling more newspapers or garnering higher ratings for their TV or radio broadcasts, so you really can't trust them anymore when they tell you how bad it's going to be. On that score, Earl turned out to be a complete bust, at least in this area, which I'm sure came as a welcome relief to everyone except the meteorologists and advertisers. On the home front, the flag brigade once again did an admirable job flying the colors upstairs and downstairs, and even remembered to bring them back indoors later, which as we all know, is a big challenge to the poor addled brain cells (both of them) of the flag brigade at this point. If this process ever develops a third stage beyond OUT and IN, it's obvious that the current flag brigade will never be able to keep pace with the higher expectations, and that's not just a lot of Hurricane Punch, by golly.
And while we're on the subject of things we might not be expecting, there was apparently another hurly-burly at the U.S. Mint, where after years worth of redesigns of the paper currency, dollar coins, quarters, and even nickels, they finally got around to the lowly pennies, and certainly without any fanfare. In fact, you probably have some in your wallet or pocket right this minute, and you'd hardly even notice them, they look so much like the old pennies in many ways. On the front, they might have updated or tidied up the rendering of Lincoln, although you really wouldn't be able to tell, while on the back, there is now a shield with the legend E Pluribus Unum in the place of the famed Lincoln Memorial - which had been on the back since time immemorial it seems, or at least since the "wheat" pennies of yore. It's amazing to me that they could have gone ahead and redesigned the penny, of all things, especially now when they're not even worth anything and they cost more to produce than their face value, and they keep saying they're going to do away with them altogether. And even more so, that they did it without letting anyone know, and then just slipped them into the currency mainstream unannounced, and they scarcely even look any different, so people don't even notice them, because Lincoln looks the same on the front, and you really have to look close to spot the new shield on the back. Or as late night television's Craig Ferguson famously quipped, "Oh sure, NOW they give me a shield!"
And speaking of television, I do hate to complain about the TV Section of our local newspaper, because I do sincerely sympathize with their problems of trying to cram a lot of information into small spaces, and I know how challenging that can be. I'm more than willing to overlook the occasional lapse, the errant typo, the single slip-up along the way, and give them credit for good intentions. But when they come in bunches, I have to wonder if anyone is watching the store, or whether they've put the illiterate foxes in charge of the proof-reading hen house, so to speak, and then I just have to draw the line. In Friday's Best Bets, they offered this description for a TLC program called "Say Yes to the Dress:"
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A woman is excited to finally a bride
after being a bridesmaid 15 different times
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Now, I realize that the spell-checker is not going to help if you're going to leave out a whole word, but I had to complain about this when they apparently liked it so much on Friday that they had it in their Best Bets TWICE, and each with the same word left out both times. I can see having it in there twice if you're going to fix the second one, but if you're just going to make the same mistake all over again, that's taking a bad joke a little too far in my book. The other listing actually had no grammatical errors at all, and was for House Hunters International on HGTV, concerning a couple of young surfers -
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... who have chosen to spend their early
retirement near the Nicaraguan Riviera
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I'm sorry, but however much I would prefer not to cast aspersions in the direction of our southern neighbors, out of respect for the English language, I can't help but object to having the words "Nicaragua" and "Riviera" in the same sentence, and that's all there is to it. Some things just don't go together, like nitro and glycerin or Rosh Hashanah and traffic, and this is another perfect example of disparate elements that should be forcibly separated, by legal means if necessary.
Meanwhile on the local scene, it was probably the same furry varmints who chewed into my camping supplies that recently decided that their next bit of mischief would be nibbling through the water hose for the refrigerator ice maker, so now the refrigerator won't make its own ice anymore, and I don't mind saying, thanks so very much not. I realize that on the global scale of tragedies and disasters, this ranks about on a par with a sluggish side-view mirror wiper on your Lexus, so you're welcome to go right ahead and break out the world's tiniest violin at this point. But it's a big deal in this house where we use a lot of ice on a daily basis, and this unexpected mechanical setback has really put a crimp in our refreshment prospects, on a titanic scale that is the reverse of the famous liner's iceberg collision, where their problem was too much of the stuff, while ours is just the opposite. Nowadays, the poor over-worked household staff, who shall remain nameless but look a lot like Bill, has been reduced to painstakingly making our own ice cubes with plastic ice cube trays in the freezer, which is an ongoing nuisance from days gone by that quickly loses whatever fond memories it used to have, and that is to say, not much. It's easy to forget how much trouble that is, which is why they invented ice makers in the first place, and believe me, even more appreciated when you suddenly don't have one anymore. One lucky thing has been the discovery that we can dump the ice cubes into the ice compartment in the freezer and get them to come out the door as usual, because the dispenser part of the apparatus still works fine. This is what we call being grateful for small favors, and I can tell you that we don't take these ice cubes for granted, that's for sure. So last week when I was getting myself some ice for a cold drink, and one of the ice cubes bounced out of the glass and onto the floor, you can be sure that I chased after it, rinsed it off and used it anyway. I won't say that we've gone as far as naming them, but they are precious to us, so I wouldn't rule out that possibility either. I'm thinking that "Nanook" has a nice ring to it. On the other hand, the ice maker, which is busted, is obviously "Earl," while the ice-free refrigerator must be the Anti-Titanic. Say, who is that playing "Nearer My God to Thee" on the world's tiniest violin?
Elle
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