Suit Yourself

Hello World, Well, it seems that you just about get to the point where you have to beware the Ides of February, and the month is practically all over already, bar the shouting. In fact, this week is the last Friday of the month, since this isn't a leap year and there is no February 29th at the end of next week. So any plans that you had for the shortest month of the year, you'd better hop to them at a gallop, because the days are dwindling down to a precious few, before March roars in like the mighty lion it is, just waiting in the wings for its cue to enter and sign in, please. (Now, there's another one of those age-old expressions that are lost on young people nowadays, and I don't need to hear the impertinent snickers of the dinosaurs to realize that entirely on my own, thanks not.) It would be nice to think that the imminent arrival of March would finally usher in some better weather around here, but I'm afraid that is not going to be the case. So far, February has provided an assortment of bad weather of all descriptions - from your average garden-variety snow, to sleet, bitter cold, freezing rain, dangerous winds, fog, slush, and all the way up to actual blizzards - and I think it's safe to say that we all know who is to blame for all of these terrible conditions. Yes, I admit that I have to take full responsibility for the situation, because after the porch project, I never replaced the bird bath heaters outside, and they're still nestled cozily in a box in the living room, where it's nice and warm, rather than being out in the bird baths doing their part to make drinking water available to the local wildlife, in spite of the elements. Of course, when they are plugged in and on the job, there are often no elements to speak of, and it can stay 60 degrees for 3 months, because Old Man Winter has no incentive to do his worst, only to have the bird baths laugh in the face of his fiercest onslaught. So I apologize to one and all, and I have certainly gone a long way toward making myself wildly unpopular with just about everybody except for the ski resorts and snowboarders out there. But frankly, I thought the class-action lawsuit from the chickadees was just way too much. Of course, last Thursday was the feast day of St. Valentine, the patron saint of romance and indulgence on a grand scale, and much beloved throughout the ages by couples, poets, singers, restaurants, hotels, travel agents and merchants alike. It was pretty popular around here too, and there were gifts from the usual categories of apparel, jewelry, confections, snacks and personal care products sure to please. In fact, some of the food items were so enticing that they didn't even last long enough to take pictures, and if that's not a sure sign of runaway success, well, then I don't know what is. It's true that we didn't hop aboard the hearts and flowers bandwagon, and go out to paint the town red, but we were just as glad to stay home in our humble abode, and enjoy a pleasant meal in peace and quiet. (That is, as much peace and quiet as you can have with a houseful of juvenile delinquent cats underfoot - and frankly, I've just about exhausted all patience with their frivolous lawsuits, I don't mind saying.) Besides, with our new big screen TV and surround sound, even a quiet evening at home is like an exciting night on the town, full of movie blockbusters in glorious 3-D and all the junk food we could possibly want. I would say that our amorous imp Cupid knew exactly the right thing to pull out of his quiver, and really hit the spot. In other news, last weekend also saw another stop on the ongoing Christmas caravan, as we finally caught up with my sister on Long Island at long last, with the intent to pack away all of the yuletide trappings and holiday boodle, and put Christmas 2012 behind us once and for all. Her job at a food warehouse makes it almost impossible to socialize at any point between November and January, because that is their busiest time of year, what with Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then the year-end audit for regulatory purposes. It was even worse this year, for a plethora of reasons, including a new computer system that was implemented late in the year, and proved harder to figure out than expected. Then there was Hurricane Sandy, which basically happened right in their backyard, and bringing with it not only a giant influx of donations all at once, but also a sudden increase in cries for help from agencies desperate to assist the victims on every side. When things finally settled down enough for her to grab a little bit of free time, we jumped at the chance, and hurried down there as fast as our reindeer would carry us, by Donder and Blitzen. I must admit that it didn't hurt our motivation that Denny's just opened a new restaurant in nearby Carle Place, and we were anxious to check it out. Apparently, we were not alone in that idea, since the place was so crowded that we had to wait on line for a table, followed by another long wait for our meal. But it was all worth it in the end, although truth to tell, the reindeer were all pretty antsy by the time we got back to the parking lot. We decided that the weather on Saturday was not at all conducive to outdoor activities, but fortunately, we still had plenty of other options available to us - and not to mention, the outrageously horrendous traffic to prove it, thanks not. We clawed our way, tooth and nail, through the Old Country Road-Glen Cove Road gauntlet to our destination at the fabled Roosevelt Field Mall, which we found completely unrecognizable from the last time we had been there, probably 20 years ago now. Here I'm thinking that the poor departed Quentin Roosevelt, who the former airfield is named after, wouldn't know the place anymore from its humble origins in 1955. The joint was certainly jumping, and mobbed on every level, but we fought our way through the sea of humanity, heedless of our personal safety - and I don't mind saying that the hammer and tongs really came in handy, believe me. We found interesting things to see at F.Y.E., Tea-Zana, and Gadgets & Gizmos, as well as Lush (and please feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at www.lushusa.com and see for yourself) who are fabricators of organic health and beauty products that must be seen to be believed, and maybe not even then. Our favorite discovery came as a big surprise to us, since we had no idea that there was such a thing as a Sony Store, and we found ourselves irresistibly drawn inside as if by magic, considering that we were certainly not in the market for another television set. Among the myriad sets in all shapes and sizes, we still liked ours the best of all of them, and where they had it set up with our surround sound system, we just stood and watched whatever was playing, with the same mesmerizing effect that it has on us at home. If they had been showing 3-D college football, we'd probably still be there now, and the heck with the reindeer. Once again advancing into the teeth of the world's worst traffic, we made a few other stops at R.E.I., Eastern Mountain Sports and Best Buy, and by the time it was all over, it had gotten seriously dark, and we had worked up quite an appetite. We picked up dinner from our favorite pizzeria, and indulged in a selection of yummy desserts left over from a luncheon for the food warehouse staff. After that it was time (and it would not be inaccurate to say, way past time) for Christmas presents, which were no less appreciated for being two months late, I can assure you - and we were well on our way to pulling the old Christmas caravan into the terminus at long last, and give it a well-deserved and long-overdue rest. Not so fast! Since several of the supposed gifts turned out not to be real presents after all, but IOU's instead, I guess it could be argued that the holiday caravan indeed continues on, at least until all of the actual gifts are actually distributed to their actual recipients, and not just hypothetically anticipated. Personally, I'm prepared to celebrate Christmas at any time during the year, for as many times as it takes, and the more, the merrier works for me. But I just overheard the elves saying that the reindeer are planning to take a page out of the cats' playbook, and frankly, I don't know how many more lawsuits I can stand. Elle