The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Hello World, Anyone can tell you that it was just about half-past Halloween when the Christmas displays started going up in earnest, as the eager retailers summarily kicked the witches and skeletons to the curb, and trotted out the candy canes and holly berries in their place. A tree-shaped display of holiday cookies greeted shoppers at the door of our local supermarket, while yuletide wrapping paper and bows overflowed from the aisles at CVS, before November was even underway. Of course, this is old news to the seasoned veterans of conspicuous consumption run amok, many of whom can still cast their minds back to those halcyon days of yore when holidays knew their place, and stuck to their appointed times, without jumping the gun by leaps and bounds, or skittering about from day-to-day like some desperate fugitive on the run from justice. Halloween has upped the ante, by re-inventing itself, and turning into a major player on the party scene, that scores big points with children and grownups alike. With a bottomless cauldron of merchandising opportunities - from costumes and greeting cards to holiday-themed snacks and yard decorations - the annual spook fest has little trouble holding its own against the onslaught of the jingle bell juggernaut bearing down on it, and manages to defend its turf in the store aisles right up to the very end. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving has no such protection, and once the ghouls and goblins are gone, it's as if the Pilgrims never happened, and November is nothing more than the gateway to The North Pole. I daresay the poor Pilgrims don't need me springing to their defense 400 years later, but let's face it, without them we'd all still be communicating by smoke signals at this point, kemo sabe. Anyhoo, as they say in cartoons, it was more than 2 weeks ago when we first noticed the unmistakable glow of holidays lights at the nursery on our way to the diner - and they were certainly not in the shapes of pumpkins and cornucopias, I can tell you that. It was the Monday after that when the landscaping company next to where Bill works had their first delivery of Christmas trees rolling off the truck, and even though I was standing right there at the time, I still couldn't believe my eyes. So anyone who wanted to beat the rush and get their tree in the first week of November, they could certainly take their pick, and I don't mind saying, not have to fight off the crowds to do it. Now, the scoffers may scoff, and I obviously chief among them, but there's no denying that they smelled absolutely heavenly, and at this time of year, a more welcome aroma would be hard to come by. All of which only goes to prove that even old hard-boiled hide-bound traditionalists can't help but fall under the spell of fresh pine, nor all the officious ministrations of the Holiday Police keep the sugar plums at bay until after Tom Turkey has had his moment in the sun - or rather, the oven. Christmas is indeed the Super Bowl of holidays, and in the immortal words of Vince Lombardi: "Nothing succeeds like excess." I notice that the Pilgrims and dinosaurs are all yelling something about Oscar Wilde, but I'm not worried, because they're all well known as sore losers, and after all, I'm pretty sure it was Miles Standish who once famously observed, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." Now I see that the dinosaurs are all rolling around on the floor laughing derisively, but I have found that their grasp on colonial history has always been tenuous at best, so I put no stock in that, Pilgrim. Speaking of jumping the gun, every day the local newspaper lands on our doorstep (well, actually out in the street, which is about 50 feet from our literal doorstep, thanks not) and it is jam-packed full of sale circulars, from every possible store hawking every possible product - as well as some that don't even seem remotely possible, even in the farthest reaches of the most distant solar systems. The big new thing these days is all the merchants who are promising their biggest bargains right at our very fingertips, or what they describe as "Black Friday all week," which I think pretty much defeats the whole purpose of having Black Friday in the first place, and turns it into yet another in a never-ending series of movable feasts nowadays, that you can't pin down to a single day, despite the fact that it's actually named after the day when it's supposed to be. I admit that I have issues with Black Friday, as it presumably kicks off the holiday gift shopping season for real, and serious shoppers develop meticulous plans in order to snap up the best deals on the perfect presents for everyone on their list. Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the year's most popular spending spree, but even alien visitors from far distant galaxies couldn't help but notice that the biggest circulars, and the loudest commercials, are invariably from national appliance stores and automakers - like people are really going to buy refrigerators or cars as gifts for anybody. Of course, things can always be worse, heaven knows, and yesterday we received a circular that assured me that "Dunkin' Donuts is your gift giving headquarters!" Gee, I sure hope not, because about the last thing I want to give anyone as a gift is a paper bag filled with bagels and a cardboard box full of coffee. Somewhere the Grinch is having a great big laugh, I shouldn't wonder. Meanwhile, on the (double) vision front, where our aim is to eventually have the left eye and right eye working together as a team, like ordinary binocular humans, things are continuing along much the same as usual, with occasional oddities along the way. Sometimes there seems the merest tantalizing improvement, like we may be starting to come out of the woods at long last, while at other times, I find it impossible to see even the most routine things, until I just close one eye and grab a magnifying glass instead. I'm still enjoying all the new and improved colors that I have before me on the left side, and often it also surprises me with its unexpected clarity. In fact, on Sunday I was standing in my regular pew during the Kyrie with no particular thought in mind, and when I looked down, suddenly the nubby texture of the church carpet came into such stark detail all at once, where previously it had always been just a dull maroon-ish blur that faded into the background, that I almost shouted out, "holy smoke!" right in the middle of the liturgy. I may not say that this has been the world's best Halloween or Thanksgiving present throughout the ages, but perhaps by the time Christmas rolls around, we might actually be on to something here. And while we're on the subject of seeing things, it's no secret that the season for holiday movie blockbusters is just about underway, and since there's a few titles we didn't want to miss, we were ready to hop right on board that bandwagon before it was too late. They finally came out with the sequel to "Thor" in 3-D, and this one is called "Thor: The Dark World," with the story picking up a couple of years after the first one ended. The main characters are back, although they kill off the poor mother for no particular reason, and even Captain America makes a cameo appearance that is both surprising and hilarious. It's all too easy to get used to the spectacular 3-D special effects, which are such a mainstay of action movies these days as to be commonplace, which is a sad testament to our total lack of wonder in this era of digital miracles. It must be said that much of the story is overwhelmed by the massive technology at the studio's disposal, but it still spins an entertaining tale that never lags, and you certainly won't fall asleep at any point. For anyone with the patience to sit all the way through to the end of the credits, there's a surprise epilogue that will no doubt make more sense in an upcoming feature than it does right now. Unlike many films, where the concession stand pizza is our favorite part of the evening, I would give this one high marks, although admittedly, it helps to be a fan of the franchise to start with. Or as Miles Standish once said, "Let's get out there and win one for the Gipper!" Elle