Test Drive

Hello World, Happy April Fools Day! Saturday opens the new month with the day when all the fools come out to play - although it's been my experience through many long and challenging ages, that they don't require an official day to cavort about and wreak havoc upon the rest of humanity, heaven knows. In fact, if they were actually limited to just one day a year, the world could certainly be a much different place, and that might not be such a bad thing after all. On the other hand, any of us can play the fool at times, often without even realizing it. I was reminded of this when The Employer of Last Resort replaced their antiquated telephone equipment throughout the entire campus, for a brand new Northern Telecom system with all the latest bells and whistles at the time. They gave us all instruction manuals to explain the various buttons and features available to us, and I dutifully kept this trove of knowledge carefully secure in a desk drawer for probably 15 years or more. It was when I was cleaning out my office after the hospital went under, that was the first I noticed the instruction book was entirely in French, from cover to cover, and was obviously never going to be any help to me, if I ever did need it. Or should I say, merci beaucoup non. In other curious goings-on, I found myself behind a car last week, which was not remarkable in any way, or driving in a manner to call attention to itself by any means, except for its rather alarming license plate, which read: EYEDONOR - and while I applaud the selfless magnanimity of organ donors, I have to admit that finding myself on the road with this driver did not fill me with the steadfast confidence and reassurance that I would have preferred at the moment, I dare say. Which also reminded me of a recent Facebook post that purportedly explained how the tiny bumps on your car's steering wheel are Braille, to help blind drivers locate the horn if they need to honk at anyone. Here again, while I'm completely in favor of accessible communications for people of all ability levels, I have to wonder with some trepidation (and here, outright terror might not be out of the question either) BLIND DRIVERS???!!! The mind reels. As long as we're on the topic of eyes, alert readers may recall that I had a laser treatment years ago to correct an inherited cornea condition that was making it more and more impossible for me to see as time went by. That was in October 2013, beginning with my left eye (you can feel free to go right ahead and look that up, I'll wait ..... dum dee dum dum ..... ) and was supposed to be followed up with my right eye around 6 months later, but instead, I lost my job and health coverage, and that whole idea went by the boards. I hadn't considered that I wouldn't be able to find a new job with health benefits, but all these years later, it still hasn't happened, and since it may never happen at this rate, I had to face the quandary of what to do about the worsening condition of my right eye - especially since, even with my previous medical coverage, the entire process proved itself to be somewhat beyond our means, and working as a temp with no coverage at all, it would have been altogether out of reach. Into this impasse stepped a generous benefactor to make it possible for me to have the necessary procedure on my second eye, and I don't mind saying that I am really looking forward to it, especially after all this time. I can't imagine what it would be like to see clearly with two eyes, like just about the rest of everyone else in the world, but I would expect it to be interesting times ahead, and that's not just a lot of rose-colored glasses, believe me. And speaking of things to look forward to, I was recently apprised of a development announced by the minions at the Long Island State Parks & Historical Preservation Commission that there's a plan afoot to construct rental cabins at 2 of their state parks, Hither Hills and Wildwood, for the benefit of their long-suffering campers on all sides. Frankly, I have only one thing to say about that: "Be still, my beating heart!" The idea of cabins at Wildwood is something that I have dreamed of for literally decades, and while I don't expect them to be available by 2018 as they promised (AS IF!) I still think it's a great idea, and long overdue, and I can't wait to see how it turns out. In fact, of all the innovations that I had ever hoped would be introduced out there, I honestly believed that it would be the beach tram that would have been the first to become a reality, with cabins trailing along far in the distance, if at all. It occurred to me later that even if they build 10 of them (at a campground that already contains over 450 tent and trailer sites) I would never, A) be able to afford one for a week, or 2) manage to snag one for myself before they were all snapped up by the thundering herd of a clamoring populace yearning for an outdoor experience with more amenities. Of course, right now this is still nothing more than a hypothetical pipe dream, and may not pan out after all - or may not actually have any more amenities than the park already offers as it is, to be honest. But for that, I guess we'll all just have to wait and see, and when I'm at the park in July, it should be interesting to see if there's any hints of this forthcoming undertaking anywhere. I would expect them to have brochures with all of the details, but with my luck, they would probably be in French, n'est-ce pas. Elle