Ding Dong

Hello World, Well, where has the month gone, I ask you that. It seems like it just got started, and here it is, well on its way to being over already. Of course, it doesn't help that we're still seeing local temperatures in the 70's and 80's at the moment, so it doesn't seem that it could possibly be as late in the year as it really is, no matter how you look at it. Not to mention, all of the trees are still full of happy green leaves, which have so far resisted the impulse to change color, but also haven't dropped off onto the ground, so from the looks of things, it should still be summer. I'll tell you, if it ever does turn into actual fall weather in these parts, it’s going to come as a cold shock to just about everybody, that’s for sure. Earmuffs, anyone? And speaking of the time of year, it can't be denied that general elections are basically right around the corner in November, as anyone can see who hasn't been living under a rock for the past month. Driving around Yonkers, a person can't help but notice political signs across the entire ideological spectrum, stuck helter-skelter in every vacant lot, or attached to fences along the way. One that caught my eye as I was cruising by was for the estimable Kenneth L. Bunting, who is apparently running for Westchester County Family Court Judge, and well deserving of our support, I have no doubt. But it begs the question of what type of patriotic decorations there might be festooning his campaign headquarters – as if I didn't know! (You youngsters out there, ask your grandparents what “bunting” is.) Also this time of year, what hasn't been happening in sports lately, by golly. After squeaking into the playoffs by way of the Wild Card, the Yankees improbably knocked off the top team in the American League, the Cleveland Indians with their vaunted 102-60 season record, to advance to the next round. From there, they ran straight into the buzz-saw that is the Houston Astros, but played them tough, and still managed to tie up the series at 2 games each, and then even more improbably, went on to win the 5th game handily. For their part, I'm sure the Astros with their impressive 101-61 season record, are looking at the Yanks’ somewhat paltry 91-71 record, and wondering where it all went wrong. The Bombers can close out the series in 6 games, or Houston could force a 7th game, but this is still a lot closer to the World Series than the home-town fans had any reason to expect this year, and that’s not just the peanuts and Cracker Jacks talking, believe me. On the NL side of things, the Dodgers have been manhandling the Cubs, and looked like they might sweep them right out of the picture in 4 straight, but it ended up taking 5 games instead. Of course, a World Series match-up of the Yankees and Dodgers would put us old timers in mind of those halcyon days of yore, when a subway series between these two neighboring clubs would have set The Big Apple on its collective ear, just like it did in the rivalry’s heyday before the Dodgers pulled up stakes and left town in 1959. Now, that’s not to say that Houston and Los Angeles might not have their very own rivalry, but to baseball purists, it’s just not the same thing at all. Alas, where is Ebbets Field when you need it? (You youngsters can ask your grandparents about that one too, while you're at it.) Meanwhile on the gridiron, I'm sure that everyone will be relieved to hear that the Giants finally managed to win a game after all (YAY!) handily besting the Denver Broncos, of all things. The surprising Jets, however, were no match for the Patriots, and slipped back below .500 again, in spite of a strong effort on their part. Of course, things can always be worse, like in Cleveland or San Francisco, where the local teams both jumped out to identical 0-6 records to start the season, no doubt to the dismay of their long-suffering fans, I shouldn't wonder. (Heck, even the perennial laughing-stock Detroit Lions are doing better than that.) Meanwhile indoors, the NBA has just gotten underway, and although both the Knicks and Nets have started out 0-1, I think we can all agree that it’s far too early for panic. Hockey has been going on for a little while now, and the Rangers have stumbled badly out of the gate, going 1-7 in their first 8, while the Devils have roared off on a 6-1 tear in the same period, thanks not. At this rate, it could end up being a very long season, before things finally wind down in June - especially that now, here in New York, we've entered that most treacherous time of year when we can actually watch our favorite teams in four different sports all lose at the very same time, and once again, thanks so very much not. And while we're on the topic of bad things, we have our tech maven Bill to thank for more insights into the Siri function on our phones: ============================================ The funny thing is, Siri has always been TERRIBLE at real dictation. When I first got her, I tried doing what they recommended -- dictating in the Notes app -- exactly the way they recommended it, and it stunk. The worst thing is, you can't pausebecauseifyoudoshe'llthinkthat'stheendofwhatyouwantherto *ding* write. And even if you do get your thoughts together well enough to keep going -- usually impossible for me -- she STILL *dings* after she's reached the limit of her concentration. You ARE lucky in one small way, though. The new Siri is not only still awful at that, but abrupt and rude too. You've heard her -- she not only talks faster, but now explains things like I'm the Town Idiot. "All right, I will remind you to check the ice machine today, October tenth, two thousand and seventeen at two pm, [sotto voce] you jerk." =============================================== Well, now actually I don't feel so bad about the trouble I had trying to dictate a note using this feature, rather than retyping the whole document all over again from scratch. Much like the Jets, Giants, Knicks, Nets, and Rangers, it seems like there's plenty of room for improvement in the Siri situation, and that's not just whistling Dixie, I can tell you that. In fact, if it was Siri whistling Dixie, she would only have gotten as far as "I wish I was in the land of cotton ....." before she cut it off completely, tossed in a Confederate flag emoji, and as Bill suggested, ended with "you jerk" to wrap it all up. Well, here's some news for you, Siri, because I've got 2 words for you too, and it's not - Ebbets Field