Queen Of The Hop

Hello World,     Hong Kong Bok Choy! The time has certainly come to pull out all the stops, and wish everyone a very healthy and prosperous Chinese New Year, and don’t spare the paper lanterns and fire dragons, my good man! This is the Year of the Dog for anyone born in 2018, 2006, 1994, 1982, 1970, 1958, 1946, 1934, 1922, 1910, or 1898, and as anyone can tell you, Dog people are often considered to possess the best traits of human nature. They are honest, friendly, faithful, loyal, smart, straightforward, venerable, and have a strong sense of responsibility. On the negative side, they may be self-righteous, cold, stubborn, slippery, critical of others, and not good at social activities – with the possible exception of obstacle courses, that is. So cover yourself in red, get out there and paint the town red, and make it a red-letter day all around, to ring in the new year in style. Toss in some red wine, and you can be auspiciously red on the inside as well as the outside, because after all, who wouldn’t rather be red? (Don’t answer that, Sen. McCarthy!) (All of you youngsters out there can ask your grandparents about that one.)     Even without the parades and fireworks on Friday, this was an extremely eventful week all on its own. Of course, Shrove Tuesday was on the 13th, and the annual bacchanalia known as Mardi Gras, turning The Big Easy on its collective ear for the duration. When it comes to “Any excuse for a party,” Mardi Gras pretty much wrote the book on that scenario, and that’s not just the king cakes and beads talking, believe me. Wednesday brought us Valentine’s Day, where all things hearts and flowers, or satin and lace, were de rigeur, and chocolate was the order of the day. This was in sharp contrast with Ash Wednesday, also happening on the same day, a time devoted to self-denial, somber reflection, and aiming for spiritual improvement going forward during the season of Lent. Frankly, I was hoping that our cats would take this opportunity to give up their dastardly habit of being continually under my feet at every moment of the day and night, but so far I don’t see any of them taking the moral high ground on this ethical question, and more’s the pity, I’m sure. Apparently the kitties don’t care about Lent one way or another – that is, until Palm Sunday rolls around, and then it’s a whole different story, I can tell you that.     And while we’re on the topic of notable dates, we were surprised at work to receive a broadcast voice mail message from Yonkers City Hall that they were going to be treating Abraham Lincoln’s traditional birthday as an actual independent holiday on the 12th, suspending trash pickup, closing schools, and shutting municipal offices, of all things. Mind you, this is on top of the federal Presidents Day holiday next week on the 19th, presumably including The Great Emancipator along with the rest of the thundering executive herd, when everything will be totally closed up all over again. Now, I defer to no one in my appreciation of our 16th President, but even I find that clearly excessive – and that’s not just a bunch of Lincoln logs and stovepipe hats, by golly.     Here’s a few other February tidbits that should be squeezed in before the month suddenly runs out, in less than 2 weeks already. Of course, the 2nd day of the month is famous for being Groundhog Day, which is also a well-known movie comedy of the same name, where the identical things keep happening over and over again, with humorous results. Alert readers may have noticed this comment on social media at the time, which creates its own circular logic: =========================== Dr. Awkward - They should announce that they are making a sequel to Groundhog Day & just show the original again. ===========================     Also obviously, anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock lately can tell you that the Winter Olympic Games are taking place in Pyeongchang, South Korea – with plenty of luge, biathlon, curling, figure skating, snowboarding, hockey, and skiing for all, and maybe more than enough for some of us, I dare say. The leaders in medal count so far are Norway and Germany, with the USA trailing off in the distance, and since the NHL opted to keep its players out of the competition, we can’t even count on that (professional) advantage to boost our meager results, alas.  In other sporting events, The Big Game gets out of the way on the first Sunday in February, but we mustn’t also forget the paw-some Kitten Bowl from our friends at The Hallmark Channel (not to mention, aww-some!) which around our house is considered counter-programming at its finest, and for a good cause besides. This premier nationwide adoption event gets bigger and better every year – and let’s face it, could it possibly be any cuter? (I don’t think so!) This year featured animals rescued from hurricanes in 2017, including Harvey, Irma, and Maria, in the wake of those storms taking an impartial toll on people, animals, and businesses alike, thanks not. We also have this final note from the TV Section Best Bets, regarding what they refer to as the NBA All-Star weekend. Its kickoff was on Friday with the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game, that included comic Kevin Hart and singer Pharrell Williams joining retired NBA players, and members of the WNBA, for some light-hearted hoops action with plenty of fun and games inside and outside the paint. And since it’s February, let’s not forget that would be red paint, after all, and keep it coming.     Meanwhile at work, I often invoke that age-old vaudeville joke about my office being so small (“How small was it?”) that you would have to go outside to change your mind (rim-shot, please!) but then, sometimes it turns out that it’s not small enough. Last week I took off one of my shoes to remove a pebble, and suddenly realized that I could hear a faint humming noise somewhere. All at once it dawned on me that it must be my cell phone trying to get my attention, only because of the new operating system that was recently updated, it doesn’t ring or buzz anymore, making it insanely easy to miss incoming calls, even when it’s sitting right next to you, much less on the other side of the office with one shoe off – and once again, thanks so very much not. In a perhaps misguided attempt to snag the ill-timed call before it was too late, I immediately started to hop across the floor in my one shoe toward the phone, flinging myself on it at the end, without regard to my personal safety, like a single-minded Olympic athlete in hot pursuit of a world record. It occurred to me later that it was just as well there are no surveillance cameras in office, or this could have very quickly turned into a viral video, and not putting my best foot forward, by any means. And to say that the “5-Meter Phone Hop” is not likely to be accepted as a medal sport in the upcoming Summer Games, would be an understatement of Olympic proportions, by Jove. Elle