What's Up, Doc?
Hello World,
Well, I don't mind telling you that the meteorologists and I are of different minds as far as the weather around here lately. In recent years, we've all gotten used to this new trend of going straight from winter, with its freezing temperatures and snow, directly into summer, with its sweltering heat and high humidity, with no spring in between, as in those halcyon days of yore that we all like to remember so fondly. But not this year, not by a long shot. We finally stopped having snow and freezing temperatures, but then it settled into this long siege-like spring of near-freezing temperatures, biting winds and desultory sunshine. Whenever the sun would come out, the weather forecasters on TV and radio would gush, "It's going to be a beautiful day, with a high of 60, so get out there and enjoy it!" And I'd be driving along on my way to work and thinking, "Hey, 60 is not really all that warm" and besides which, at the time in the morning they were saying that, the actual outdoor temperature was 42 degrees. Now, 42 is a lot closer to freezing than it is to warmer weather, so they can just not bother to tell me how nice it is.
Of course, I was feeling responsible for the terrible winter we had, because even though I bought a new birdbath heater, I never got the chance to put it in the birdbath, which was rock-solid frozen until just recently. And there was a time in March when it seemed like it was going to warm up and start getting pleasant, which we were all looking forward to after the long cold winter, and we started seeing those unmistakable signs of spring, like robins, early shoots and the first tiny buds. And I have no explanation for what happened next, I suppose I lost my head in all the excitement, but I not only took the flannel sheets off the bed, but also the heating blanket, figuring that we wouldn't be needing it any longer. How wrong I was, as everyone around here can tell you, since we we've had nothing but cold and nasty weather from that day forward. Spring, schming.
For the sports fans among us concerned about the Mets not winning any games, and coming home to the wrath of the home-town fans, I'm happy to report that they did actually win a game on the road before their home opener at Shea. In fact, they managed to come roaring back and reel off five wins in a row, bringing their record to just at the .500 mark, which would have seemed impossible the week before. So now when they show us their new slogan, which is "Next Year Is Now," we have more reason to believe them, at least with that kind of guarded optimism that fans of losing teams know so well. Ya gotta believe!
Apparently there's been a story in the media that included a list of songs that President Bush has on his iPod. Now, I don't mind saying that President Bush is not the sort of person that I expect to have an iPod in the first place, as he strikes me as more of a low-tech anti-geek that wouldn't go in for gadgets for the most part. But they're telling me this story on Q104.3, New York's Only Classic Rock Station, although as they have single-handedly resurrected the careers of Kansas and Boston, it's obvious to me that The Q and I have very different ideas of what constitutes "classic rock." But be that as it may, they noted that two of the songs on the presidential iPod were "Centerfield" by John Fogarty and "My Sharona" by The Knack. I said to Bill that this made me nervous, because I would also have those two songs on my iPod, if I had one, making me wonder if I've somehow turned into a closet Republican. I figure if it gets to the point that Donald Rumsfeld starts to make sense to me, then I'd better start worrying.
Speaking of worrying, here's a little vignette from work, that certainly didn't turn out the way I might have hoped in the first place. Because they don't let the staff at the hospital park anywhere near the campus, all of us leave our offices at the end of the day, and take our lives in our hands crossing the streets outside of the grounds to get to the parking lots. One of the intersections is so dangerous, that you literally need to have mutant alien eyes on stalks above your head that swivel in every direction, because the cars come flying at you from every side. This happens to be right outside of the Emergency Room entrance, where we figure the hospital is trying to drum up business by having the employees get run over. Earlier in the week, I was waiting patiently at the curb for a break in the traffic, and a young man came loping up beside me, and going in the same direction. This made me think that now was as good a time as any to make my move, since I had some cover as it were, and besides, the closest thing to us was a police car, which, as I pointed out to the young man, "...certainly can't hit us." I started out in a jaunty frame of mind across the street, until I heard his voice trailing off from the sidewalk, where he had stayed put, "That's what you like to think, is it?" I ran the rest of the way, and when I got to the other side, I turned around and shouted over to him, "Well, that's what I WAS thinking, when I thought you were going to cross along with me, because I said to myself, 'Well, the policeman might hit ME, but he's certainly not going to hit the DOCTOR'!" He laughed, but you know what I'm thinking, and that is, thanks for nothing, Doc. I guess he already knows about the hospital's plan to drum up more business, and doesn't think much of it.
And while we're on the topic of work, the time has rolled around, as it does every year, for us to start thinking about completing our mandatory e-learning courses, so we can get them over with early. These are lessons about Fire Safety, Infection Control, Emergency Preparedness and the like, that we used to attend in person at the auditorium, but now they have them on dedicated computers throughout the hospital, or you can use your own computer at home, if you prefer. This is a new system that they started in 2003, and so far, each year has been different, as they work the kinks out of it. This year, they revamped certain courses, eliminated some and added a few others, so it was just like starting all over again. One of the new courses they added was about HIPAA Compliance, and everyone knows that I am nothing if not jiggy with HIPAA, so I was surprised when I came to this question:
=====================================
Q. Which of the following is NOT a possible consequence of an electronic security failure?
1. Patient privacy is compromised.
2. Patient records can be altered or lost.
3. Your reputation is damaged.
4. All of the above.
====================================
I found out after I took the test (and got this answer wrong) that the correct answer is "4, All of the above." Okay, call me stupid, but how can all of these answers NOT be a possible consequence of electronic security failure??? Normally, I would think that the person making up the question got confused about whether the answer was supposed to be a positive or a negative ("all of the above" as opposed to "none of the above," for instance) except that they went to all the trouble to capitalize "NOT" in the question. I have a call in to our e-learning guru, who is out on vacation, or perhaps she got run over as part of the hospital's plan to drum up more business, and is recuperating quietly at home. In any event, she's going to have a lot of explaining to do, with all of us HIPAA mavens who certainly didn't care anything for that answer, and in spades.
Well, this has been another long and hard week at work, made even more so by the fact that the person I report to, our Vice President of Operations, is going on vacation all next week, and spent all of this week flying in and out of my office, tossing off chaos in every direction. Honestly, every time he shows up, it's just like a three-ring circus, only worse. I finally told him that he could stay, but the clowns and the elephants had to go. I mean, really. I expect it to be blissfully quiet while he's away, and I intend to accomplish great things. It's a sad state of affairs when removing the management equates to a corresponding rise in productivity for the rest of the staff, but at least in my case, I know that I certainly function a lot better without the acrobats in my office. And as for the Human Cannonball, I'm sure the less said about that, the better!
Well, I don't mind telling you that the meteorologists and I are of different minds as far as the weather around here lately. In recent years, we've all gotten used to this new trend of going straight from winter, with its freezing temperatures and snow, directly into summer, with its sweltering heat and high humidity, with no spring in between, as in those halcyon days of yore that we all like to remember so fondly. But not this year, not by a long shot. We finally stopped having snow and freezing temperatures, but then it settled into this long siege-like spring of near-freezing temperatures, biting winds and desultory sunshine. Whenever the sun would come out, the weather forecasters on TV and radio would gush, "It's going to be a beautiful day, with a high of 60, so get out there and enjoy it!" And I'd be driving along on my way to work and thinking, "Hey, 60 is not really all that warm" and besides which, at the time in the morning they were saying that, the actual outdoor temperature was 42 degrees. Now, 42 is a lot closer to freezing than it is to warmer weather, so they can just not bother to tell me how nice it is.
Of course, I was feeling responsible for the terrible winter we had, because even though I bought a new birdbath heater, I never got the chance to put it in the birdbath, which was rock-solid frozen until just recently. And there was a time in March when it seemed like it was going to warm up and start getting pleasant, which we were all looking forward to after the long cold winter, and we started seeing those unmistakable signs of spring, like robins, early shoots and the first tiny buds. And I have no explanation for what happened next, I suppose I lost my head in all the excitement, but I not only took the flannel sheets off the bed, but also the heating blanket, figuring that we wouldn't be needing it any longer. How wrong I was, as everyone around here can tell you, since we we've had nothing but cold and nasty weather from that day forward. Spring, schming.
For the sports fans among us concerned about the Mets not winning any games, and coming home to the wrath of the home-town fans, I'm happy to report that they did actually win a game on the road before their home opener at Shea. In fact, they managed to come roaring back and reel off five wins in a row, bringing their record to just at the .500 mark, which would have seemed impossible the week before. So now when they show us their new slogan, which is "Next Year Is Now," we have more reason to believe them, at least with that kind of guarded optimism that fans of losing teams know so well. Ya gotta believe!
Apparently there's been a story in the media that included a list of songs that President Bush has on his iPod. Now, I don't mind saying that President Bush is not the sort of person that I expect to have an iPod in the first place, as he strikes me as more of a low-tech anti-geek that wouldn't go in for gadgets for the most part. But they're telling me this story on Q104.3, New York's Only Classic Rock Station, although as they have single-handedly resurrected the careers of Kansas and Boston, it's obvious to me that The Q and I have very different ideas of what constitutes "classic rock." But be that as it may, they noted that two of the songs on the presidential iPod were "Centerfield" by John Fogarty and "My Sharona" by The Knack. I said to Bill that this made me nervous, because I would also have those two songs on my iPod, if I had one, making me wonder if I've somehow turned into a closet Republican. I figure if it gets to the point that Donald Rumsfeld starts to make sense to me, then I'd better start worrying.
Speaking of worrying, here's a little vignette from work, that certainly didn't turn out the way I might have hoped in the first place. Because they don't let the staff at the hospital park anywhere near the campus, all of us leave our offices at the end of the day, and take our lives in our hands crossing the streets outside of the grounds to get to the parking lots. One of the intersections is so dangerous, that you literally need to have mutant alien eyes on stalks above your head that swivel in every direction, because the cars come flying at you from every side. This happens to be right outside of the Emergency Room entrance, where we figure the hospital is trying to drum up business by having the employees get run over. Earlier in the week, I was waiting patiently at the curb for a break in the traffic, and a young man came loping up beside me, and going in the same direction. This made me think that now was as good a time as any to make my move, since I had some cover as it were, and besides, the closest thing to us was a police car, which, as I pointed out to the young man, "...certainly can't hit us." I started out in a jaunty frame of mind across the street, until I heard his voice trailing off from the sidewalk, where he had stayed put, "That's what you like to think, is it?" I ran the rest of the way, and when I got to the other side, I turned around and shouted over to him, "Well, that's what I WAS thinking, when I thought you were going to cross along with me, because I said to myself, 'Well, the policeman might hit ME, but he's certainly not going to hit the DOCTOR'!" He laughed, but you know what I'm thinking, and that is, thanks for nothing, Doc. I guess he already knows about the hospital's plan to drum up more business, and doesn't think much of it.
And while we're on the topic of work, the time has rolled around, as it does every year, for us to start thinking about completing our mandatory e-learning courses, so we can get them over with early. These are lessons about Fire Safety, Infection Control, Emergency Preparedness and the like, that we used to attend in person at the auditorium, but now they have them on dedicated computers throughout the hospital, or you can use your own computer at home, if you prefer. This is a new system that they started in 2003, and so far, each year has been different, as they work the kinks out of it. This year, they revamped certain courses, eliminated some and added a few others, so it was just like starting all over again. One of the new courses they added was about HIPAA Compliance, and everyone knows that I am nothing if not jiggy with HIPAA, so I was surprised when I came to this question:
=====================================
Q. Which of the following is NOT a possible consequence of an electronic security failure?
1. Patient privacy is compromised.
2. Patient records can be altered or lost.
3. Your reputation is damaged.
4. All of the above.
====================================
I found out after I took the test (and got this answer wrong) that the correct answer is "4, All of the above." Okay, call me stupid, but how can all of these answers NOT be a possible consequence of electronic security failure??? Normally, I would think that the person making up the question got confused about whether the answer was supposed to be a positive or a negative ("all of the above" as opposed to "none of the above," for instance) except that they went to all the trouble to capitalize "NOT" in the question. I have a call in to our e-learning guru, who is out on vacation, or perhaps she got run over as part of the hospital's plan to drum up more business, and is recuperating quietly at home. In any event, she's going to have a lot of explaining to do, with all of us HIPAA mavens who certainly didn't care anything for that answer, and in spades.
Well, this has been another long and hard week at work, made even more so by the fact that the person I report to, our Vice President of Operations, is going on vacation all next week, and spent all of this week flying in and out of my office, tossing off chaos in every direction. Honestly, every time he shows up, it's just like a three-ring circus, only worse. I finally told him that he could stay, but the clowns and the elephants had to go. I mean, really. I expect it to be blissfully quiet while he's away, and I intend to accomplish great things. It's a sad state of affairs when removing the management equates to a corresponding rise in productivity for the rest of the staff, but at least in my case, I know that I certainly function a lot better without the acrobats in my office. And as for the Human Cannonball, I'm sure the less said about that, the better!
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 7:03 PM
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