By The Book
Hello World,
Happy Halloween! I hope that you are ready for the ghouls and goblins on Sunday, and with any luck, there will be good weather for the annual costume extravaganza. I've already made up my goodie bags for the youngsters (and oldsters - what the heck, we have no standards in this place) who may come calling, and I rounded up my Halloween preparation supplies from the clutches of the furry varmints in the attic, which may be one more thing that stays in the living room for protection after the fact, like my camping gear. At least if I need to grab a plastic spider or glow-in-the-dark skeleton on short notice, they'll be close at hand.
Around here, whenever Halloween falls on a Saturday or Sunday, I always wear my costume to work on the Friday before, and that's also when the hospital has its holiday parties in the nursing home and Adult Day Care. Alert readers may recall that I had already ordered this year's costume last year, when I needed an emergency addition to last year's costume, and didn't want to have them ship me nothing but a $4 clown wig overnight, so I tossed in another costume so I'd be way ahead of the game. It will come as a surprise to no one when I say that certainly didn't work, not only in spades, but clubs, diamonds and hearts as well. And I can't even blame the furry varmints this time, try as I might.
A normal person would think after 25 years of this, I would certainly know better, but the fact is that I never looked at the extra costume until it was way too late, and then discovered that it had several shortcomings, of which fit was one, missing pieces another, and malfunctioning props yet a third, making the entire costume problem impossible to remedy on short notice. With time running out, I headed to our local Party City with a list of about 20 potential costume ideas that I could look for, and was highly disappointed in their selection, finding only one from my list at the store. But at the eleventh hour, I was glad that at least they had something that I could use, and even luckier that it fit, although I found that the tail was too long and I had to tie it in a knot to keep from stepping on it. (I should also mention that whoever invented the safety pin has been a godsend for me and my costumes over the years.) And that was how it came to pass that The Cat in The Hat went to work at the hospital on Friday.
I haven't found any calendar that identifies October 29 as any kind of holiday, but it was certainly quiet when I left the house in the morning, with scant traffic on all of the roads all the way to work. There was no one on the sidewalks or in the intersection (you remember, the one with the blinking light - NOT) when I got to the hospital, and I had the crosswalk to myself, even though I was pretty sure that the usually reckless drivers wouldn't dare run down a cartoon character in full regalia. I passed through the Clinic with my footsteps echoing in the empty reception area, and basically snuck into my building without being seen by another living soul, which you would think would not be easy to do with a 15" red and white striped hat, by golly. Upstairs in my own department, both of my coworkers liked it, while the consultant appeared to be baffled at the situation, but made an effort to be polite nonetheless. It was to be the pattern of the day that so many people were off, but as a few trickled in and noticed my costume, I was once again reminded that when it comes to costumes, there is no character so iconic that people won't get it wrong, and this was no exception, in fact, even more so than usual. I was amazed at the number of people who simply had no idea what the character was to begin with, and even after having it explained to them, had no familiarity with it, in spite of at least one recent Hollywood movie with the same name. I was routinely accosted as "Dr. Seuss!" which I think would make the late and lamented Ted Geisel blanch, and caused me to wonder if someone dressed as Quasimodo would find people calling out "Victor Hugo!" as they went by. In fact, so many people called me Dr. Seuss that I finally just said they could call me Doc instead. I guess it was a good thing I wasn't dressed as Romeo or Juliet, and half of the people would be yelling "Shakespeare!" while the other half were yelling "Francis Bacon!" and in the ensuing fist-fights, probably would have spilled my candy all over the floor.
When it came time to make my rounds of spreading joy and sunshine throughout the campus, what with so many people off from work, the trick-or-treating was much worse than usual, even in the departments that I could ordinarily count on for treats. The party in Adult Day Care was more subdued than their usual jaunty affair, as the staff didn't wear any costumes, and there were no goodie bags being handed out. When I pointed that out, they tried to give me some Ensure, but I said they'd have to catch me first. I found the computer department deserted except for the Telecommunications director who was decked out in a garish orange sweater that did nothing to enhance his Asian complexion, believe me. In an attempt to be hospitable, he poked around for something appropriate to give me for my trouble, suggesting batteries, loose screws and a house beeper before finally settling on a packet of instant oatmeal, which is certainly a first in my experiences. At least the nursing home party did not disappoint, and was its usual rollicking shindig, complete with Harvey the DJ, the Pet Therapy dogs and the staff dolled up in costumes - of which my favorite was the young lady dressed as a giant yellow M&M, who was handing out fun-size packets of, you guessed it, M&Ms. The aides roll the residents into the Day Room, and give them all hats to wear, so some of them have straw hats, some cowboy hats, some are wearing tiaras, and many were all wearing the same witch hat with spider-web design that must have been the big seller on the local retail scene this time around. They all look so happy and festive, but the one that caught me up short was the sweet little old lady with pearly white curls, who was wearing black glasses with a big plastic nose and fuzzy eyebrows. Did I laugh! Harvey the DJ played "Alley Cat" when I came in, and we all had a lot of fun with it. Then we all had our pictures taken, and did some more dancing, there were plenty of goodies to go around, and lots of laughs. I'm not sure if anyone knew what my costume was, but it didn't matter.
One place it did matter, in an unexpected way, was the President's Office, where I went to be sociable, and found they actually had candy and you could really trick-or-treat there for a change. In a surprising coincidence, the Executive Secretary showed me the picture on her desk of her grandson in his own Cat in the Hat costume, and he was certainly way more adorable than I was, although she was too polite to point that out. I wouldn't complain about the costume, especially as a last-minute emergency replacement, and I was just happy to get something that would work in a pinch. But if I had known that so many people wouldn't recognize the character, I probably would have wanted to carry around a copy of the book with me, so I wouldn't just look like some nut in a big hat. At least it had the advantage of being very comfortable, which makes a difference when you wear a costume all day long, and I must say, what a beautiful day it was, too. Although it was a lot windier than it seemed, and whenever I went outside between buildings, I found the hat kept blowing over, so that I finally had to prop it up with plastic bags inside to keep it standing up straight. Also, I used the same white gloves from last year's clown costume, and by the time I got home on Friday, they were abysmally dirty, so I guess we would have to say that at least in the non-clinical areas, it seems that the hospital fails the white glove test, and I ought to know.
And thanks to the month starting on a Friday, this turned into another of my favorite kinds of Halloween, where I get to wear my costume to work on one day, and still have a whole separate day to get ready for actual Halloween at home, making a long and involved process much less complicated on me. I can come home from work, have time to take pictures in my costume, and still get to the diner as usual for dinner, while the regular Halloween scramble is a problem for a different day. So now at least we can close the book on Halloween at work, and in many ways, I guess we could say it was one for the books. And you can believe me, because after all, I'm a doctor, or at least, that's what people call me.
Dr. Seuss
Happy Halloween! I hope that you are ready for the ghouls and goblins on Sunday, and with any luck, there will be good weather for the annual costume extravaganza. I've already made up my goodie bags for the youngsters (and oldsters - what the heck, we have no standards in this place) who may come calling, and I rounded up my Halloween preparation supplies from the clutches of the furry varmints in the attic, which may be one more thing that stays in the living room for protection after the fact, like my camping gear. At least if I need to grab a plastic spider or glow-in-the-dark skeleton on short notice, they'll be close at hand.
Around here, whenever Halloween falls on a Saturday or Sunday, I always wear my costume to work on the Friday before, and that's also when the hospital has its holiday parties in the nursing home and Adult Day Care. Alert readers may recall that I had already ordered this year's costume last year, when I needed an emergency addition to last year's costume, and didn't want to have them ship me nothing but a $4 clown wig overnight, so I tossed in another costume so I'd be way ahead of the game. It will come as a surprise to no one when I say that certainly didn't work, not only in spades, but clubs, diamonds and hearts as well. And I can't even blame the furry varmints this time, try as I might.
A normal person would think after 25 years of this, I would certainly know better, but the fact is that I never looked at the extra costume until it was way too late, and then discovered that it had several shortcomings, of which fit was one, missing pieces another, and malfunctioning props yet a third, making the entire costume problem impossible to remedy on short notice. With time running out, I headed to our local Party City with a list of about 20 potential costume ideas that I could look for, and was highly disappointed in their selection, finding only one from my list at the store. But at the eleventh hour, I was glad that at least they had something that I could use, and even luckier that it fit, although I found that the tail was too long and I had to tie it in a knot to keep from stepping on it. (I should also mention that whoever invented the safety pin has been a godsend for me and my costumes over the years.) And that was how it came to pass that The Cat in The Hat went to work at the hospital on Friday.
I haven't found any calendar that identifies October 29 as any kind of holiday, but it was certainly quiet when I left the house in the morning, with scant traffic on all of the roads all the way to work. There was no one on the sidewalks or in the intersection (you remember, the one with the blinking light - NOT) when I got to the hospital, and I had the crosswalk to myself, even though I was pretty sure that the usually reckless drivers wouldn't dare run down a cartoon character in full regalia. I passed through the Clinic with my footsteps echoing in the empty reception area, and basically snuck into my building without being seen by another living soul, which you would think would not be easy to do with a 15" red and white striped hat, by golly. Upstairs in my own department, both of my coworkers liked it, while the consultant appeared to be baffled at the situation, but made an effort to be polite nonetheless. It was to be the pattern of the day that so many people were off, but as a few trickled in and noticed my costume, I was once again reminded that when it comes to costumes, there is no character so iconic that people won't get it wrong, and this was no exception, in fact, even more so than usual. I was amazed at the number of people who simply had no idea what the character was to begin with, and even after having it explained to them, had no familiarity with it, in spite of at least one recent Hollywood movie with the same name. I was routinely accosted as "Dr. Seuss!" which I think would make the late and lamented Ted Geisel blanch, and caused me to wonder if someone dressed as Quasimodo would find people calling out "Victor Hugo!" as they went by. In fact, so many people called me Dr. Seuss that I finally just said they could call me Doc instead. I guess it was a good thing I wasn't dressed as Romeo or Juliet, and half of the people would be yelling "Shakespeare!" while the other half were yelling "Francis Bacon!" and in the ensuing fist-fights, probably would have spilled my candy all over the floor.
When it came time to make my rounds of spreading joy and sunshine throughout the campus, what with so many people off from work, the trick-or-treating was much worse than usual, even in the departments that I could ordinarily count on for treats. The party in Adult Day Care was more subdued than their usual jaunty affair, as the staff didn't wear any costumes, and there were no goodie bags being handed out. When I pointed that out, they tried to give me some Ensure, but I said they'd have to catch me first. I found the computer department deserted except for the Telecommunications director who was decked out in a garish orange sweater that did nothing to enhance his Asian complexion, believe me. In an attempt to be hospitable, he poked around for something appropriate to give me for my trouble, suggesting batteries, loose screws and a house beeper before finally settling on a packet of instant oatmeal, which is certainly a first in my experiences. At least the nursing home party did not disappoint, and was its usual rollicking shindig, complete with Harvey the DJ, the Pet Therapy dogs and the staff dolled up in costumes - of which my favorite was the young lady dressed as a giant yellow M&M, who was handing out fun-size packets of, you guessed it, M&Ms. The aides roll the residents into the Day Room, and give them all hats to wear, so some of them have straw hats, some cowboy hats, some are wearing tiaras, and many were all wearing the same witch hat with spider-web design that must have been the big seller on the local retail scene this time around. They all look so happy and festive, but the one that caught me up short was the sweet little old lady with pearly white curls, who was wearing black glasses with a big plastic nose and fuzzy eyebrows. Did I laugh! Harvey the DJ played "Alley Cat" when I came in, and we all had a lot of fun with it. Then we all had our pictures taken, and did some more dancing, there were plenty of goodies to go around, and lots of laughs. I'm not sure if anyone knew what my costume was, but it didn't matter.
One place it did matter, in an unexpected way, was the President's Office, where I went to be sociable, and found they actually had candy and you could really trick-or-treat there for a change. In a surprising coincidence, the Executive Secretary showed me the picture on her desk of her grandson in his own Cat in the Hat costume, and he was certainly way more adorable than I was, although she was too polite to point that out. I wouldn't complain about the costume, especially as a last-minute emergency replacement, and I was just happy to get something that would work in a pinch. But if I had known that so many people wouldn't recognize the character, I probably would have wanted to carry around a copy of the book with me, so I wouldn't just look like some nut in a big hat. At least it had the advantage of being very comfortable, which makes a difference when you wear a costume all day long, and I must say, what a beautiful day it was, too. Although it was a lot windier than it seemed, and whenever I went outside between buildings, I found the hat kept blowing over, so that I finally had to prop it up with plastic bags inside to keep it standing up straight. Also, I used the same white gloves from last year's clown costume, and by the time I got home on Friday, they were abysmally dirty, so I guess we would have to say that at least in the non-clinical areas, it seems that the hospital fails the white glove test, and I ought to know.
And thanks to the month starting on a Friday, this turned into another of my favorite kinds of Halloween, where I get to wear my costume to work on one day, and still have a whole separate day to get ready for actual Halloween at home, making a long and involved process much less complicated on me. I can come home from work, have time to take pictures in my costume, and still get to the diner as usual for dinner, while the regular Halloween scramble is a problem for a different day. So now at least we can close the book on Halloween at work, and in many ways, I guess we could say it was one for the books. And you can believe me, because after all, I'm a doctor, or at least, that's what people call me.
Dr. Seuss
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 9:00 PM
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