Candy Land
Happy October! It's getting to be an interesting time of year, as football gets farther along in its season, a handful of lucky baseball teams are gearing up for the playoffs, and even the home-town fans watching their pre-season basketball and hockey teams can eagerly anticipate the upcoming season stretching out before them, bright with promise. Of course, for the die-hard sports fan, this can also be the time of year when four of their teams can all lose on the same day, but after all, I'm pretty sure that's why they invented beer in the first place. Although it is true that hominid creatures have been imbibing fermented beverages since about the time that the dinosaurs and I were roaming the vast unformed land masses around the primordial ooze, and that pre-dates the hapless Mets stinking up the joint by at least a decade or two, so perhaps the connection between beer and losing teams is not as direct as we might suppose.
Anyone can tell you that our old nemesis Comrade Mischka didn't fall asleep at the switch this past week, as his infernal weather machine has been throwing everything at us that it's got, until just about all that's left would be the Biblical plagues, and meteorological conditions that are only found on alien planets in far distant galaxies. It was hot, it was cold, it rained. It was sunny, it was cloudy, it rained some more. It was windy, it was foggy, and when it didn't rain, the humidity was so drenching that it might as well have been raining. As a change of pace to the ordinary downpours, there were severe thunderstorms that included everything from hail, to violent winds, local street flooding and power outages that made driving an adventure, and brought businesses to a standstill. In dangerous weather, I'm always happy to go to work, where the hospital is composed of serious brick buildings that have stood the test of time, even the old rattle-trap of a fire hazard where I work. But I did notice during one particularly nasty rain squall, when I brought some papers upstairs to Finance on the third floor, that they had trash buckets out in the hallways collecting water that was dripping in from the roof, which at least is a problem that we don't have where I am on the second floor. I would say that the hospital's Finance department apparently does not have a contingency plan for that proverbial rainy day, but everyone knows that I'm not one to hit an easy target.
Speaking of work, apparently 'tis the season when the corporate gift-giving catalogues are showing up in droves, to encourage businesses to thank their employees, customers or suppliers for their continued support and hard work. These run the gamut from simple holiday cards or imprinted calendars, to personalized trinkets like key chains and travel mugs, all the way up to luxury gifts like fine watches or fountain pens. In Purchasing, we get a steady stream of them from companies like The Popcorn Factory, LL Bean and Hickory Farms. In amongst the seasonal bonanza last week was one from our friends at Godiva chocolates, with their premium confections in a wide variety of gift options to suit every taste or budget. One of my favorites was their New Grande Celebrations Gift Basket, and not just because it explained about all of the treats that were included in the capacious cornucopia, and then closed with this startling remark: [[ Tied with red Christmas ribbon. Kosher. ]] How refreshingly ecumenical of our cotton-candy-picking friends at Godiva, by golly. No, my favorite part was at the bottom of the page, where they were eager to let me know about their discount offer, which they described as "Our gift to the givers - Save 5% on orders over $600." Excuse me? This is where, if I had a business, I'd be saying thanks but no thanks so very much not, at least not in this economy. I don't think you have to work in a building with trash buckets collecting rain water dripping in from the roof to draw the line at spending $600 on kosher Christmas chocolates, and that's not just a lot of ho-ho-hava-nagila, believe me.
Meanwhile at church, there's been no let-up in holiday catalogues there either, and no surprise in that. But I was surprised to see one from our friends at Spiritual Expressions (and please feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at http://www.spiritualexpressions.com/ and see for yourself) and features their 2011 collection of worship dancewear. Who knew! I have to say that I have been going to church for a very long time (some people might say "TOO long," but I figure that's just the neighbors in a 12-block radius who complain about my singing) and I have never in my life heard of any such thing as worship dancewear. They tell me that I can trust their "worship dancewear for the best prices, quality and service" and for many years, they have "brought you garments to match your passion for liturgical dance" in order to "let the spirit of the music move your dance ministry in our reverent and flowing garments!" They certainly do have a nice selection of gowns, tunics, pants, scarves, ribbons, capes, and even leotards and shoes, to get my dance ministry up on its feet and off the ground, as it were. There's even a section of worship DVDs with instructions for your soloists or groups, in the event that your church doesn't happen to have a choreographer to go along with all of your worship dancewear. Well, it seems that things have certainly changed in church, and I can't even say "since the last time I looked," because I've been here all along, while apparently church was changing right out from under me. Can the kosher Christmas chocolates be far behind?
And while we're on the topic of catalogues, what may be new and exciting in the world of adult education, you may be wondering, and well may you wonder. Well, wonder no more, as we have just received the Continuing Education 2010-2011 brochure from New Rochelle High School, which describes itself as "An Award Winning School District." (Their award: Naps Well With Others.) They tell me that their goal is "to present a wide range of courses to the New Rochelle community and beyond," and they do in fact have eight pages full of courses in subjects such as arts and crafts, computers, photography, language, music, and dance, as well as two pages of health and fitness, to keep the Queen City residents, uh, healthy and fit, I guess. Of course, I could find more information and registration forms at their web site, where they've apparently saddled the school system with the unlikely domain of http://www.nred.org/, of all things, which sounds to me like the web page for some team full of nerds in a paintball league, for heaven's sake. One of my favorite parts of the whole brochure is in the back after the course listings and directions, where they show a map of the school building, so visitors know where to go for which classes. I found it peculiar - and here, perhaps "disturbing" might be the better word - that according to the map, the second floor was larger than the first floor, and included one entire wing on the second floor, where nothing is shown under it on the first floor. I'm thinking this must come as a big surprise to the local residents of the area, where the architects have apparently relied on some sort of anti-gravity device to keep the second floor wing hovering above the ground with nothing beneath it. Certainly sounds like the same bunch that came up with the 3rd floor ceiling in the Finance department, if you ask me.
In any case, they offer adult education in piano, guitar and belly dancing, plus 4 languages, including Chinese - although I think it's only fair to point out that the instructor for the course is something called Hui Altman, so I'm not sure if that's actually genuine Chinese, or more of the kosher Chinese Christmas chocolates version, thank you very much. There are numerous painting and drawing classes, all reasonably priced and including a variety of methods, such as enameling, collage, and printmaking. My personal favorite was Ceramics, which starts out with this arresting description: "Advanced hand building techniques will be introduced along with basic wheel throwing." Now, that sounds less like an art class, and more like the bad old days at our church's annual congregational meetings, where people would shout and toss chairs at each other, and I ought to know. (I still hold the record for distance, although my accuracy was so woefully lacking that even people on my side would run for cover, although they often discovered to their dismay, that cowering behind me was often not the safety zone that they were hoping for, alas.) Interestingly, the Ceramics description concludes with this curious tidbit: "The open studio sessions will be facilitated by the instructor for the students to practice previous techniques or explore their personal goals." Hey, what is this - Ceramics or some sort of wacky New Age transcendental retreat, full of pop culture psycho babble, like "self-actualization," "paradigm shift" and "family dynamic." Unfortunately, I'm afraid I won't have time to find out what that's all about, because someone just showed up at the door selling kosher Chinese Christmas chocolates, and I'm planning on throwing a wheel at them.
Elle
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