Hard At Play

Hello World, Happy May! When the poets, scribblers, and troubadours penned the immortal words, "What is so rare as a day in May," they weren't just whistling Dixie, by golly. The weather gods have smiled on us lately, with a string of lovely days in a row, and more than enough to give even the most cantankerous curmudgeon a capricious case of spring fever, and not a cure in sight, I dare say. Anyone can tell you that the cherry blossoms of lore and legend put on their usual show for locals and tourists alike, in whites and pinks to delight all preferences. Unfortunately, our neighbors no longer have a row of dreamy dogwoods along our driveway, so I have no way of knowing if those lovely trees are blooming now or not, alas. I also miss the majestic chestnut that used to be across the street, but had to be removed due to health reasons, and took all of its cascades of creamy white blossoms right along with it. But everything else around here has been trying valiantly to fill the void, and blooming their little hearts out, including the star flowers and astilbe that have just started to peek open. There are fresh glories everywhere you look, as the horrible winter at last fades into the oblivion of bad memories, and good riddance, I don't mind saying. Of course, there's always the possibility that we'll move directly from blizzard season into hurricane season, thanks not, or worse - so I suppose it couldn't hurt to be on the lookout for the onset of Biblical plagues (locusts, boils, raining frogs) or apocalyptic indicators (aliens, mutants, zombies) just to be on the safe side, and don't say I didn't warn you. Speaking of the great outdoors, alert readers may recall that last year I was surprised to discover what I would describe as an albino cardinal in our yard, and not a bit shy about it. She was mostly white with a few tannish patches, but was obviously a cardinal because of her beak, her distinctive song, and the fact that she was usually in the company of a male cardinal, who looked perfectly normal. (And who I believe deserves special credit for choosing a mate with unorthodox looks, not bowing to peer pressure - or should that be "peep pressure" - nor letting unfounded prejudice stand in the way of true love. Good for him!) At the time, I expected an anomaly of this nature to be nothing more than a flash in the pan, and I never thought I would set eyes on her ever again. Not so fast! I was out last week putting sunflower seeds in the feeder, and there she was on the fence post, big as life and twice as noisy, and the first one at the feeder as soon as I finished with it. Last year, she would only let me get close to her when I had no camera at hand, so I had no chance to snap a picture of this extraordinary creature - in fact, she would probably go right ahead and land on my shoulder, as long as she knew I had a total lack of technology about my person, to record the moment with. So after I spotted her the first time this year, I started bringing my camera outside when I would fill the feeders, and as a result, and a bit of fortuitous luck, I finally have a few bad blurry pictures to prove it, and it goes without saying, I'm not afraid to use them. There's even a wobbly video of her at the feeder, where you can clearly hear her signature cardinal song, in contrast to what she looks like, so she's not just some foreign interloper pretending to be a cardinal. After all, you'd have to believe that the Pope would see right through that, let's face it. In sports news, the heavily-favored New York Rangers finally managed to win a playoff series in fewer than 7 games, which they haven't been able to do in years upon years, giving them a chance to have some much needed time off in between series for a change, and thanks ever so. Flying in the face of conventional wisdom, they promptly went out and lost the first game of the second round, thanks not - and mind you, that was with a scant 1.3 seconds (SECONDS) left in the game, so you can imagine how popular that was on home ice, I shouldn't wonder. (NOT!!!) At this point, the NHL playoffs are down to 8 teams from the original 16, and you can believe me when I say that there is no joy in Detroit, Long Island, Nashville, Ottawa, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Vancouver or Winnipeg, and of course, not to mention, Mudville. In the East, both the #1 and #2 teams advanced as expected, but in the wild and woolly west, it was the #3 Blackhawks and the Wild Card team (improbably called "The Wild," of all things) that knocked off the #1 and #2 teams, put them on the stage coach outta Dodge, and sent them riding off into the sunset, pardner. Meanwhile on the hard wood, the hoops meisters have also moved into the second round of the playoffs - which surprisingly kicked off with powerhouse Oklahoma City nowhere to be seen - and so there is already no joy in Boston, Brooklyn, Dallas, Milwaukee, New Orleans, Portland, Toronto, or San Antonio, home of the defending champion Spurs, alas. Without LeBron "King" James, Miami also missed the boat this year, after being a mainstay of the finals, the last four years in a row. There's still a whole month to go in both sports, before the trophies are handed out in June, and while I don't claim to be a betting expert, I'm sure everyone realizes by now that the one thing I do consider myself an expert about is that I certainly know better than to turn my back on Affirmed, pardner. On the entertainment scene, such as it is, a friend invited us to join her family at the movies for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2," and since we had already seen the first one (albeit much later on television) we figured, what the heck. This invitation came with the decided disincentive of catching the early show at 10:00 AM on Saturday, which at least had the advantage of being ridiculously inexpensive, even for 5 of us, and the theater being virtually deserted. (I shouldn't wonder!) It seemed an odd time to me for a movie, but it was all in good fun, so we played along. Fans of the first film would not be disappointed, as the second one picked up, with cast and plot mostly intact, where the first one left off, and just carried on from there. I found it a little long, and it dragged in spots, but it did have moments of genuine hilarity, and where it fell short, it wasn't from lack of trying. (The Mini KISS cover band was a whole different stop on the crazy train, and as surreal as it sounds, actually made sense when they finally pulled into the station, if I do say so myself.) The sparse audience seemed to enjoy themselves, and even Bill had some good things to say about it, and his standards are known to be at the kinds of heights that would give most people nosebleeds. So overall, it was a fun outing, and the price was certainly right, so we had no complaints. I'm not sure that we would sign up for advanced tickets on "Paul Blart 3" right at the moment, but if there ever is such a thing, I would take a page out of Walt Disney's book, and say, "It's a mall, mall world after all!" Good news on the home front was that I was placed at a new temporary assignment, after the previous spot I was working at in Valhalla wrapped up at the end of March. I didn't like to complain about the Valhalla position, because it came along when I was desperate for something to do, but it had many disadvantages, not the least of which was the distance. For someone who has been literally within walking distance of work since at least 1989, suddenly commuting to a job, on highways no less, was a drastic change, and an unwelcome one at that. It added a distasteful element of stress into an otherwise menial task, and after 4 months, I was not sorry to part ways with the place. The new opportunity has some disadvantages as well, and is not actually a whole lot closer, but it's much easier to get to, more relaxing, and makes better use of the office skills that I still have. (My poor last two addled brain cells - which I have renamed for the occasion, and I would tell you what they are, but like everything else nowadays, of course I can't remember - are not going to set the world on fire at this point, but at least they can still operate basic office equipment and utilize simple computer documents without presenting a danger to myself or the community at large.) In any case, at our house, we call this Joy in Mudville, and I'm going to ride this gravy train for all its worth - although I have to say, if and when we get to the part where the Mini KISS band climbs aboard, well then, all bets are off. As much as I might want to "Rock & Roll All Nite and Party Every Day," let's face it, somebody's got to watch out for plagues of locusts and zombie apocalypse, for heaven's sake. Elle