Tiny Bubbles

Hello World, Any reasonable person might think it would be only logical, since this is the last weekend in August, that it should be Labor Day weekend, but alas, they would be sorely disappointed to find that it is very much not the case. Although it seems ridiculous that September will be hard upon us next Thursday, we will have to wait for the following weekend to enjoy all the treats of the long holiday occasion, and this weekend of August's last gasp has no particular significance at all. It doesn't even qualify any longer as the line of demarcation between summer vacation and the start of school, since so many schools have already started up again, some are starting next week, and yet others might be holding off until after the Jewish holidays or whatever else. In fact, it's obvious to anybody that the seasons have lost all their meaning, since I was at Staples last weekend, which you would expect to be a hotbed of frantic families crowding the aisles to snap up the bundles of supplies on their back-to-school checklists - but instead, besides me and one other lonely old codger, there wasn't a soul in the place. Go figure. And speaking of things that are hard to figure out, here's one for the proverbial books, as it were. Being very hospitable, we have another congregation that uses our church on Sunday after our weekly service, and last week I was patiently waiting for them to arrive, and killing time by playing some games on my phone at the time. I think it was Cookie Splash Mania, or some such nonsense, which is a game that I had been stuck on the same level for quite a while, and either couldn't fend off the evil sugar gobblers, or had used up all of my magic spatulas, and invariably ran out of moves before accomplishing the necessary goals (collecting milk bottles or rescuing the trapped pastries, perhaps) in order to move to the next level. So here I was lounging around in the Narthex all alone playing my game, when the Assistant Pastor of the other congregation showed up on the doorstep and I was interrupted - I put my phone down on the chair so I could get up and unlock the door for him, and we exchanged pleasantries (actually we complained about the weather, as I recall, but then, what else is new) while I switched on the lights and fans in the Sanctuary. When I got back to my seat, lo and behold, apparently all by itself, the phone had completed the level, AND WON, and proceeded to move to the next level without any input from me whatsoever. Frankly, I have to admire a game that plays better all by itself than with me at the controls, and I was grateful for its help, heaven knows, however supernatural it might have been. After all, it was in church at the time, so Divine Intervention cannot be ruled out, in fact, I think it's the only plausible explanation at this point. Take THAT, evil sugar gobblers! And while we're on the subject of sugar, unlike cultural icons of whom it is often said that they "need no introduction," the following object is something that not only needs a copious amount of introduction, but quite frankly, I don't even know where to begin. We received a flyer from our friends at A.I. Friedman art supplies (and please feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at www.aifriedman.com and see for yourself) and right on the cover - along with paint brushes, markers, and sketch pads - is a bunch of multi-colored spray cans emblazoned with the word SUGAR as big as life. Thinking this was some new scientifically engineered food product (the only other things I could read on the label were "harvested sugar cane" and "less toxins") it had me considering the merits of spray sugar - similar to spray salad dressing and Butter Buds that you shake out of a can - that would provide a hint of sweetness without the calories. (You heard it here first, folks!) Not so fast! On closer inspection, it turns out to be an artist supply described as follows: ====================== BREATHE EASIER SUGAR THE WORLD'S FIRST AEROSOL PAINT PRODUCT MADE FROM HARVESTED SUGAR CANE NOT PETROLEUM SPRAY SMART FOR A SUSTAINABLE FUTURE CONTAINS LESS VOC's (VOLATILE ORGANIC COMPOUNDS) LESS TOXINS ABSORBED INTO YOUR BODY AND LESS LOWER LEVEL OZONE DEPLETION PROTECT YOUR HEALTH SUPERIOR QUALITY MADE WITH THE FINEST ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY MATERIALS HIGH QUALITY MATT FINISH ======================= Now I'll admit that I don't know what else they do at Breathe Easier Spray Smart, but they certainly had me going right up until the end there, when the legendary Art Fern showed up with the Matinee Movie for today, featuring "Matt Dillon, Matt Damon, Matt Helm, Welcome Matt, Matt Finish, and Matt the Wonder Iguana in 'It's A Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt World'." Here I'm thinking if they distribute other art supplies in their product catalogue, they should certainly know the difference between "matt" and "matte" by this time, and once again, the poor over-matched spell-checker is not going to help you with this either. So I'm sorry to disappoint any potential fans of the hypothetical spray-sugar-in-a-can idea, but if you are looking for something with a matt finish, at least now you know where to turn. Tell them The Matinee Lady sent you. In other entertainment news, anyone who has watched the cable network HGTV for any length of time can tell you that the "tiny house" movement has become a major phenomenon, as people down-size from McMansions to MicroManses across the country, and also around the globe. There's no lack of programs centering around this idea, including "Tiny House Hunters," "Tiny House, Big Living," and the international version called "Tiny House World." One of these shows is "Tiny House Nation" where genial host John Weisbarth and his jack-of-all-trades contractor, Zack Giffin, actually build a custom tiny house for the hardy folks who have decided to take the plunge from mega to mini, and devil take the hindmost. Zack is a creative genius who can basically do just about anything he sets his hand to, in the face of the most outrageous requests from the clients, and has been known to craft a headboard out of an old piano, a storage cabinet out of junked car parts, and an outdoor deck out of discarded surfboards, to name just a few. One of my favorites was from a recent episode where a couple planned to go tiny with their pair of large and active dogs, and while the pups would have plenty of space to romp around outside, they wanted something for them to play with indoors as well. Always up for a challenge, Zack created a built-in container with a chew toy attached to a stout rope, and when the dogs pull on the chew toy, the container dispenses a tennis ball, which comes bouncing out for them to chase around. It didn't take long at all for the dogs to get the hang of this concept, and they had a ball (pun intended) with it, I can tell you that. Of course, cats are much too diffident to go for anything so plebeian as that, but I honestly wouldn't put anything past Zack's amazing gift for invention, and he could probably come up with something that even our couldn't-care-less kitties would find irresistible. Of course, knowing them, it would probably be some sort of fiendish device that would lock us out of our own house, and which no doubt they would find ever so highly diverting, I dare say. Fortunately I think Zack is more of a dog person underneath it all, and most likely would not succumb to their feline wiles, at the risk of our safety and well-being, especially if we were footing the bill. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking with it, or my name isn't - Matt Finish