Sail Ho!

Hello World, Happy Columbus Day weekend! Of course it's unfortunately true that Christopher Columbus is such a social pariah these days that they probably don't even teach about him in school nowadays, much less observe his birthday as a holiday anymore, and more's the pity, I'm sure. Around here, the temperature has finally started cooperating with the season, reluctantly turned down the blast furnace on the summer that would not quit, and produced some glorious fall days that are crisp and clear, to make even the staunchest city dwellers among us long for hot apple cider, football mums, and hay rides, by golly. Meanwhile on television at the moment, they're already showing pre-season hockey and basketball, and even now, full of fights and trash talk, as if these games meant anything in the overall scheme of things for the upcoming season. If this is any indication, it looks like we can't count on much smooth sailing ahead, and that's not just Christopher Columbus talking, believe me. In other seasonal news, there is no joy in Mudville, as the hapless Mets limped into the post-season as the second Wild Card team, and then promptly lost the Wild Card playoff game to San Francisco in extra innings, thanks not. On the other hand, it was probably just as well, since with their heralded pitching staff depleted by injuries, they never would have been able to survive multiple rounds of playoffs on the way to the World Series, especially without a robust offense to overcome their pitching deficiencies, alas. And frankly, I would not have cared much for their chances (or anyone else's, for that matter) against the buzz-saw that is the Chicago Cubs, who set a blistering pace during the regular season while racking up 103 wins in a 162-game season, and leaving everyone else choking in the dust of their wake through it all. (Although it's only fair to point out that the 2001 Seattle Mariners won 116 games under the leadership of "Sweet" Lou Piniella, and were blown out in 5 games in the second round of the playoffs, and never made it to the World Series after all - so I guess it only goes to show that there's more than one cautionary tale to be considered on the road to post-season glory, and a great regular season record is no guarantee of success later on, heaven knows.) It should be interesting times ahead for the likes of cities as diverse as Boston, Cleveland, Fort Worth, Los Angeles, and Washington D.C., but as everyone knows, we bleed Mets blue in this house, so they'll be carrying on without us this time around. "Wait until next year!" In other disappointing news, we recently had occasion to be in Yonkers late in the afternoon, and took advantage of proximity to have dinner at Pizzeria Uno on Central Park Avenue, where we had been a few times before, and glad of it. Unfortunately, the evil minions at Pizzeria Uno corporate headquarters (who apparently have nothing better to do with their time) decided once again to revamp their menu options, summarily chopping out two of our favorite choices, the lasagna stackers and baked torteloni, and once again, thanks so very much not. Of course, you don't find these things out until you've already parked the car, and taken your seat inside, and perusing the menu, so it does no good at that point to get up and stamp out of there - although I would be less than candid if I didn't say that the idea definitely crossed our minds. We ended up sharing a personal pan pizza instead, but it was certainly not the same thing, and let's face it, you can basically have pizza any place, and not have to make a special trip clear across the county for it. This omission really leaves us with no other reason to go back to Pizzeria Uno in the first place, since the rest of their menu selections are pretty much widely available elsewhere, and like Denny's, we only go there for these specialty items that make the trip worthwhile. So once again, we've run aground on the rocky shoals of that swirling vortex known as "progress," and which we all know by now, can be a double-edged sword, especially in the wrong hands. Just ask Christopher Columbus. And speaking of food, thanks to social media, we can all keep up with the travels of far-flung friends, relatives, former coworkers, relocated neighbors, business associates, or Norwegian Strangers, right in the palm of our hands, and most of the time, whether we want to or not. Recently I saw some pictures posted from a happy crowd enjoying a snack near the band shell at a community festival, and they were quick to praise Melt Mobile for the food. (And please do feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at www.melt-mobile.com and see for yourself.) This may come as news to some of us, but if you're anything like me, you would want to track these people down, and at a trot, I don't mind saying. Their motto at Melt Mobile is: "Life Ain't Easy, Take It Cheesy!" and if this isn't right up my alley, well frankly, I don't know what is. Here's how they describe it (and please heed this warning to back away from your computer so you don't drool all over the keyboard) "This isn't your ordinary food truck. We're a gourmet grilled cheese truck specializing in creative, comforting sandwiches made with local artisanal breads, imported and local cheeses, and the highest quality fresh organic ingredients." Sign me up! Their varied menu includes the Original Melt of Vermont cheddar, Monterey Jack, mozzarella and Gruyere on country white bread (YUM!) as well as The Caprese with mozzarella, prosciutto, fire-roasted peppers, tomato, arugula and pesto aioli on Kalamata olive bread, of all things. They even have the diet-conscious Svelt Melt featuring low-fat Jarlsberg cheese, oven-roasted turkey, Roma tomatoes, and whole-grain honey mustard on a grilled 7-grain bun. You can indulge in other tasty selections made with jalapeno poppers, BBQ pulled pork, caramelized onions, grilled Angus burgers, meatballs in marinara sauce, real Parmigiano Reggiano, and cheddar-crusted Tuscan bread. You can believe me when I say that they may be in a truck, but they can't go fast enough to out-run me, and that's a plain fact. Actually, you don't even have to chase them down: "Throw a party at work or play! Have Melt Mobile drive up to your next event, where our rolling kitchen, custom menus, and no-fuss set-up will ensure a convenient and memorable occasion." What's not to love! I don't know if they offer franchise opportunities, but I certainly hope not - I can tell you for sure that if I had one of their trucks, I would eat all of the food myself before I made any money selling any of it. Here is something else that is on the subject of food (so to speak) but at our house, we file things like this under the category of: "This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us." This was also all over social media lately, about ways to interact with your pet when you're out, and they're at home by themselves, or as they put it: "Chat with your pet and feed them treats when you're not there." And believe it or not, even a cursory online search will reveal that there is not one, not two, or three, but FOUR of these devices (iCPooch, Pawbo, PetChatz and Petzi) and that's without even looking hard for it, and I ought to know. These modern marvels include a tiny monitor (like a cell phone screen) and WiFi so your pet can see and hear you from your remote location, wherever you are. They come with a tray that you can activate to dispense a treat (Petzi comes with a launcher, so you can toss the treats for them to play with) and some even come with a diffuser to emit soothing scents to help keep the wee beasties calm and contented in your absence. The apparatus can stand on the floor by itself, but to protect against rambunctious dogs or mischievous cats, can be mounted on a wall or cage instead, and can be accessed by any smart phone, tablet, or laptop with an Internet connection. They range in price from about $200 - $400, which may seem like a lot, unless you compare it with a lonely Fido chewing up a pair of expensive shoes and handbag, or bored Fluffy shredding your custom French pleat taffeta silk drapes, when you're not around to give them attention. Their web sites would be happy to provide you with all the poop (perhaps an unfortunate turn of phrase under the circumstances) so you can decide for yourself if the added peace of mind is worth it to enhance the sense of well-being for your pampered pet. As for myself, I'll be galloping after the Melt Mobile truck, and the cats are on their own. Elle