High Five

Hello World, And so here it is, more than the middle of November already, and at this rate Tom Turkey will come a-trotting after us before we know it, by gobble. Tom's special day may seem early this year, although being always the 4th Thursday in November, it can range anywhere from the 22nd to the 28th, so it would be just about right in the middle this time around. Of course, Thanksgiving is beloved by all, for its sentimental focus on family, good food, and tradition (without the hassle of presents like so many other holidays) and needs no defense from me, heaven knows. Meanwhile, the following day, commonly known as Black Friday, is practically turning into a holiday of its own, sending untold millions of bargain-hunters loose at all hours, turning the long holiday weekend on its ear, and creating a "tail-wagging-the-dog" scenario of consumerism run amok. Quite unlike Thanksgiving, Black Friday appears to have an equal number of happy adherents and staunch opponents, by the look of it, and lately the backlash against excessive shopping hours has brought some welcome changes, with a few retailers even giving it up entirely, and staying closed for the benefit of their employees. Sporting goods giant REI has promoted the idea of "OptOutside" on Friday, encouraging people to ditch the malls, computers, and TV program marathons, and instead get outside and enjoy the great outdoors. I see that this idea is being reinforced in California, where their 116 state parks will be open with free admission on Black Friday. I think that's an idea we can all rally around, and that's not just Tom Turkey talking, believe me. And speaking of all things food, alert readers may recall my story about a winning lottery ticket at work during the summer, and using this windfall to take the small staff (myself and two janitors) out to lunch on New York State's dime, and thanks ever so. And now here we have practically a repeat of that same sort of capricious serendipity, and I don't mind saying, just as welcome as it was unexpected. Recently my eagle-eyed sister, who could absolutely read the date on a magazine in a newsstand from outer space, rescued a cast-off $5 bill on the street while riding her bicycle, and used that bounty to take me out to lunch, and once again, thanks ever so. We went to Panera Bread in Pelham Manor, where their half-sandwich-and soup combo is a steal at $4.99, with hearty selections and wide-ranging options that make it worth the trip. Of course, they're famous for their signature breads, but there's so much more on their menu board - from salads all the way to desserts, and smoothies in between - that a person doesn't have to love sandwiches to feel right at home there. My sister recommended the macaroni & cheese bowl for me, which was as creamy and flavorful as she promised, and felt like a warm hug on a cold day. An important aspect of the Panera chain is that they function like a popular hangout, where people can lounge in comfortable armchairs or couches, use their mobile devices, or play board games to their hearts content, and nobody hurries them along. This particular location did not have upholstered furniture as many do, but the booths were wide and inviting, and several people there were already enjoying their laptops, books, cards, tablets, and even a rousing game of Mah Jongg, in peace and harmony. There was also a very decorative fireplace built into one wall, which was an especially welcome touch on a rather nasty day that was damp and blustery, with intermittent showers and leaden skies. We had our lunch and spent most of the afternoon there, nice and cozy, as if we didn't have a care in the world. And to whatever unknown patron lost that $5 bill on the street in the first place, thanks for lunch! And while we're on the subject of fun and games, last week I couldn't help but notice when an ad popped up on my phone, using all of its marketing wiles to entice me to try their new game (admittedly I'm a sucker for new games, so it doesn't take a whole lot of marketing wiles to hook me) although I have to say that the pop-up did manage to fail the first test as an ad, since I didn't pay attention to the name of the game at all. But there was no getting away from their main advertising gambit, which was a screaming headline across the entire screen, which assured me this new game was "LIFE-RUININGLY FUN!!!" Sign me up! In other technology news, I was expecting a call from my eye doctor's office last week, so I was carrying my phone around with me everywhere, so I wouldn't miss hearing from them, whenever that might be. (Practically nobody has that number to start with, so ordinarily, my phone rings about as much as the Butterball turkey hot-line in July, I dare say.) So you can imagine my surprise when the phone rang, and not only was not my eye doctor, but was a long-distance number that I didn't recognize from a hole in the wall. I stared at it for a while, but could make no sense of it, and was not curious enough to answer it to find out. About 15 minutes later, I got a notification that there was a voice mail message, and when I checked, it was from that same number once again. So in the end, some poor schmo not only called my cell phone by mistake from Los Angeles, but also left me a 10-second voice mail of what sounded like their back pocket, which I'm sure they didn't want to use their allotted monthly minutes for, all things being equal. There's a reason I always say that technology can be a double-edged sword, as we find out all too often to our regret. Our other high tech story could be considered an extreme cautionary tale for our times, and there's no way to slap a pretty bow on this and turn it into something other than the red-haired freckle-faced orphan step-child that it is. Alert readers on social media may have noticed this tidbit making the rounds lately, and while it might have seemed peculiar at first glance, a more in-depth examination of the facts proves that it is even so much worse. Our friends at The Guardian put it this way, and please do feel free to go right ahead and visit their web site at www.theguardian.com and see for yourself: ========================================== Nonsense Paper Written by iOS Auto-Complete Accepted for Conference New Zealand professor asked to present his work at U.S. event on nuclear physics despite it containing gibberish all through the copy A nonsensical academic paper on nuclear physics written only by iOS auto-complete has been accepted for a scientific conference. Christoph Bartneck, an associate professor at the Human Interface Technology laboratory at the University of Canterbury in New Zealand, received an email inviting him to submit a paper to the International Conference on Atomic and Nuclear Physics in the U.S. in November. “Since I have practically no knowledge of nuclear physics, I resorted to iOS auto-complete function to help me writing the paper,” he wrote in a blog post on Thursday. “I started a sentence with ‘atomic’ or ‘nuclear’ and then randomly hit the auto-complete suggestions. “The text really does not make any sense.” The title, "Atomic Energy Will Have Been Made Available to a Single Source" was also provided by auto-complete. “The atoms of a better universe will have the right for the same as you are the way we shall have to be a great place for a great time to enjoy the day you are a wonderful person to your great time to take the fun and take a great time and enjoy the great day you will be a wonderful time for your parents and kids,” is a sample sentence from the abstract. It concludes: “Power is not a great place for a good time.” The nonsensical paper was accepted only three hours later, in an email asking Bartneck to confirm his slot for the “oral presentation” at the international conference. “I know that iOS is a pretty good software, but reaching tenure has never been this close,” Bartneck commented in the blog post. He did not have to pay money to submit the paper, but the acceptance letter referred him to register for the conference at a cost of $1,099 (USD) as an academic speaker. Bartneck said that given the quality of the review process and the steep registration fee, he was “reasonably certain that this is a money-making conference with little to no commitment to science." ========================================= Ya think?! Right about now, I'm guessing those conference organizers are not only accepting the hard truth that technology can indeed be a double-edged sword, but also fervently wishing that were not the case, especially in this situation. But after all, as I'm sure we've all long since become aware, “Power is not a great place for a good time.” Now, where's that new game that's supposed to be life-ruiningly fun??? Elle