Blood Is Thicker Than Water
Hello World,
Feliz Cinco de Mayo! That was yesterday, of course, when we join in with our Mexican brothers and sisters celebrating the fabled Battle of the Puebla, where they tossed off the yoke of French rule, and sent Napoleon's army packing with their coat-tails flying behind them. Although around here, it's recognized as muy importante, in other areas not quite so culturally diverse, Cinco de Mayo is not considered a very big deal. In fact, if you wish far-flung colleagues and vendors a happy Cinco de Mayo on the phone, first you have to explain what it is, and then they snap, "I'm not Mexican" like it's some sort of insult. Well, that doesn't cut any tequila-flavored ice with me, amigo, and just like St. Patrick's Day, I say we're all Mexican on Cinco de Mayo.
For some reason, they picked that day at work to have one of their employee blood drives, perhaps on the theory that increased levels of alcohol in the bloodstream would act as a preservative, I don't know. Everyone knows that I'm nothing if not game, so I figured I would leave work early, make my contribution at the blood drive, and then run some errands before going home. I came up with this plan, because my plan for last year turned out to be a disaster that I didn't care to repeat. That was in October, and was a Halloween-themed event with black and orange balloons, and decorations of vampires and bats and so forth. At that time, I figured I would go in the morning and get it over with, so I could get on with the rest of my day, but I certainly figured wrong, and then some. When I got to the Auditorium, the place was mobbed, there was standing room only every step along the way, and it took forever to get through the whole process. With so many people, it was noisy and hot, and it seemed to me that everything that could go wrong, did. I went back to my office later, and felt very uncomfortable and out of sorts all day. It turned into a bad thing all the way around, and in fact, I distinctly remember saying to the Laboratory Administrator at a meeting later, "Never again!"
What I liked better about this plan, even if it turned out to be just as hot and crowded, was that at least I could go home afterward and relax, instead of going back to work. So I left my office around 2:00 PM and dropped off all of my belongings in my car, and made it safely back to the hospital, in spite of several attempts on my life by motorists in the neighborhood trying to drum up business for our Emergency Room by running me down in the street. (Someday, I'm going to make a fortune with my "Portable Cross Walk Kit" that pedestrians can carry with them for just such situations.) You can believe me when I say that I was more surprised than anybody when I walked into the Auditorium and found that I was the only person in there. I mean, there were tables and tables full of volunteers, doctors and phlebotomists, but there was not one single other soul in there to give blood, except me. It was the wildest thing, especially compared to the madhouse in October. So, to say that I got a great deal of personalized attention at each step would be putting it mildly, not to mention how grateful they were to see me. Without the crowds, the room was quiet and cool, with soft music playing, and it was really a very pleasant experience. After a snack of juice and cookies, I went to leave, but not before they gave me my complimentary full-featured canvas tote bag full of goodies, like pens and T-shirt, discount meal tickets and other promotional items. They also confided that not many people had shown up all day, which meant that I had a better than average chance of winning something in the raffle. Frankly, I felt like I already was a winner, compared to last time, so I was glad that I went back and gave it another chance.
Speaking of people who need another chance, I couldn't help but notice this story in the Police Blotter section of our local newspaper about some individuals who had been arrested when they were discovered pushing a stolen car. I'll have you know that you have to get up pretty early in the morning to put anything over on our crack Police Department around here, so don't bother pushing any stolen cars through this happening burg. Now this is what I say: if you intend to embark on a life of crime, you really need to come up with a better plan than that, and I'm really not kidding about this. Call me a hide-bound traditionalist, but if your best idea for stealing cars is pushing them away, then I think you really need to go back to the drawing-board and start all over again at the beginning. Or maybe that was just the tequila talking.
Earlier in the week, our Word-A-Day calendar (feel free to visit their web site at www.pageaday.com) offered this curious historical tidbit as part of the etymology for our word on that day --
============================
George Bernard Shaw once described a Shakespeare play
as "stagy trash." Another time, Shaw said he'd like to dig
Shakespeare from the grave and throw stones at him.....
Oddly enough, Shaw didn't despise Shakespeare or his work
(on the contrary, he was, by his own admission, an admirer) .....
============================
Well, you know what I say about that, with friends like that, who needs enemies! I can't even begin to imagine what he would have said about Shakespeare if he wasn't an admirer, the mind reels! I mean, that doesn't even fall into the category of "damning with faint praise," that's just out-and-out vitriol, and nothing faint or praise about it no how. I will admit to being hopelessly thin-skinned, but I would quail before the onslaught of that sort of invective from one of my so-called "admirers." I suppose there's a reason for that proverb that says, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." That's so, if they insult your writing, you can hit them over the head with your keyboard. Of course, this voids your keyboard's warranty, but hey, you have to be prepared to suffer for your art.
For Christmas, Santa brought my Mom an indoor-outdoor thermometer that speaks to you and tells you the temperature, so you don't have to look at it yourself, you can have this nice little recorded lady come right out and say it for you. It also has a feature that you can use it as an alarm in the morning, whereby it wakes you up with the little recorded lady telling you the temperature when the alarm goes off. Now, I personally think this is a terrible idea, and it's obvious to me that whoever came up with this cockamamie scheme didn't think it through completely. Picture this scenario: you're all wrapped up snug in your bed in the middle of the winter, and the alarm goes off and the little recorded lady pipes up, "The outdoor temperature is 10 degrees! The indoor temperature is 55 degrees!" Now, ask yourself this question, and be honest: are you really going to jump out of bed, in the freezing cold and pitch black, and embrace the new day? Or are you more likely to roll over moaning and pull the covers back over your head, at least until the little recorded lady has some better news for you? I think we all know the answer to that one. Along those same lines, I'm not so sure it was the world's best idea to have the automatic check-yourself-out registers at the supermarket announce the price of every item as you scan it. Here you are standing with your handy basket for shopping convenience, and you've picked up a bunch of things that are nothing out of the ordinary, which as part of your regular groceries would be unremarkable. But on an individual basis and checking yourself out, suddenly each item assumes epic proportions, as the jolly synthesized voice cheerfully informs you of the prices, and you find that you can't stop yourself from yelling, "What do you mean $3.19 for that little squatty box of crackers? How could that cheese be $4.99?? Don't tell me that ice cream was $5.79 for crying out loud!" I say no good can come of this, and it's a wonder to me that they don't have more riots at these self-serve registers, or at least broken speakers where the synthesized voices used to be.
Well, this certainly has been an eventful week, full of celebrations for May Day, Greek Orthodox Easter, Cinco de Mayo, and of course, this coming Sunday is Mother's Day already. (YIPES!) Everybody knows that our local newspaper is nothing if not helpful, so they had gathered together a collection of sure-fire recipes to serve as a treat to Moms everywhere on their special day. These delicacies included "Lettuce Salad with Fresh Herbs and Goat Cheese Roustade," "Creamy Risotto with Poached Asparagus" and "Sliced Fennel with Oven-Roasted Garlic Vinaigrette," which Bill volunteered to make for me on Mother's Day, but I said he would have to catch me first. The best part of the whole thing for me is having Monday off from work (HOORAY!!!) although you know I'm not looking forward to that short week when I get back to work next week. But I suppose we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it, unless the people trying to steal it have already pushed it upriver.
Feliz Cinco de Mayo! That was yesterday, of course, when we join in with our Mexican brothers and sisters celebrating the fabled Battle of the Puebla, where they tossed off the yoke of French rule, and sent Napoleon's army packing with their coat-tails flying behind them. Although around here, it's recognized as muy importante, in other areas not quite so culturally diverse, Cinco de Mayo is not considered a very big deal. In fact, if you wish far-flung colleagues and vendors a happy Cinco de Mayo on the phone, first you have to explain what it is, and then they snap, "I'm not Mexican" like it's some sort of insult. Well, that doesn't cut any tequila-flavored ice with me, amigo, and just like St. Patrick's Day, I say we're all Mexican on Cinco de Mayo.
For some reason, they picked that day at work to have one of their employee blood drives, perhaps on the theory that increased levels of alcohol in the bloodstream would act as a preservative, I don't know. Everyone knows that I'm nothing if not game, so I figured I would leave work early, make my contribution at the blood drive, and then run some errands before going home. I came up with this plan, because my plan for last year turned out to be a disaster that I didn't care to repeat. That was in October, and was a Halloween-themed event with black and orange balloons, and decorations of vampires and bats and so forth. At that time, I figured I would go in the morning and get it over with, so I could get on with the rest of my day, but I certainly figured wrong, and then some. When I got to the Auditorium, the place was mobbed, there was standing room only every step along the way, and it took forever to get through the whole process. With so many people, it was noisy and hot, and it seemed to me that everything that could go wrong, did. I went back to my office later, and felt very uncomfortable and out of sorts all day. It turned into a bad thing all the way around, and in fact, I distinctly remember saying to the Laboratory Administrator at a meeting later, "Never again!"
What I liked better about this plan, even if it turned out to be just as hot and crowded, was that at least I could go home afterward and relax, instead of going back to work. So I left my office around 2:00 PM and dropped off all of my belongings in my car, and made it safely back to the hospital, in spite of several attempts on my life by motorists in the neighborhood trying to drum up business for our Emergency Room by running me down in the street. (Someday, I'm going to make a fortune with my "Portable Cross Walk Kit" that pedestrians can carry with them for just such situations.) You can believe me when I say that I was more surprised than anybody when I walked into the Auditorium and found that I was the only person in there. I mean, there were tables and tables full of volunteers, doctors and phlebotomists, but there was not one single other soul in there to give blood, except me. It was the wildest thing, especially compared to the madhouse in October. So, to say that I got a great deal of personalized attention at each step would be putting it mildly, not to mention how grateful they were to see me. Without the crowds, the room was quiet and cool, with soft music playing, and it was really a very pleasant experience. After a snack of juice and cookies, I went to leave, but not before they gave me my complimentary full-featured canvas tote bag full of goodies, like pens and T-shirt, discount meal tickets and other promotional items. They also confided that not many people had shown up all day, which meant that I had a better than average chance of winning something in the raffle. Frankly, I felt like I already was a winner, compared to last time, so I was glad that I went back and gave it another chance.
Speaking of people who need another chance, I couldn't help but notice this story in the Police Blotter section of our local newspaper about some individuals who had been arrested when they were discovered pushing a stolen car. I'll have you know that you have to get up pretty early in the morning to put anything over on our crack Police Department around here, so don't bother pushing any stolen cars through this happening burg. Now this is what I say: if you intend to embark on a life of crime, you really need to come up with a better plan than that, and I'm really not kidding about this. Call me a hide-bound traditionalist, but if your best idea for stealing cars is pushing them away, then I think you really need to go back to the drawing-board and start all over again at the beginning. Or maybe that was just the tequila talking.
Earlier in the week, our Word-A-Day calendar (feel free to visit their web site at www.pageaday.com) offered this curious historical tidbit as part of the etymology for our word on that day --
============================
George Bernard Shaw once described a Shakespeare play
as "stagy trash." Another time, Shaw said he'd like to dig
Shakespeare from the grave and throw stones at him.....
Oddly enough, Shaw didn't despise Shakespeare or his work
(on the contrary, he was, by his own admission, an admirer) .....
============================
Well, you know what I say about that, with friends like that, who needs enemies! I can't even begin to imagine what he would have said about Shakespeare if he wasn't an admirer, the mind reels! I mean, that doesn't even fall into the category of "damning with faint praise," that's just out-and-out vitriol, and nothing faint or praise about it no how. I will admit to being hopelessly thin-skinned, but I would quail before the onslaught of that sort of invective from one of my so-called "admirers." I suppose there's a reason for that proverb that says, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." That's so, if they insult your writing, you can hit them over the head with your keyboard. Of course, this voids your keyboard's warranty, but hey, you have to be prepared to suffer for your art.
For Christmas, Santa brought my Mom an indoor-outdoor thermometer that speaks to you and tells you the temperature, so you don't have to look at it yourself, you can have this nice little recorded lady come right out and say it for you. It also has a feature that you can use it as an alarm in the morning, whereby it wakes you up with the little recorded lady telling you the temperature when the alarm goes off. Now, I personally think this is a terrible idea, and it's obvious to me that whoever came up with this cockamamie scheme didn't think it through completely. Picture this scenario: you're all wrapped up snug in your bed in the middle of the winter, and the alarm goes off and the little recorded lady pipes up, "The outdoor temperature is 10 degrees! The indoor temperature is 55 degrees!" Now, ask yourself this question, and be honest: are you really going to jump out of bed, in the freezing cold and pitch black, and embrace the new day? Or are you more likely to roll over moaning and pull the covers back over your head, at least until the little recorded lady has some better news for you? I think we all know the answer to that one. Along those same lines, I'm not so sure it was the world's best idea to have the automatic check-yourself-out registers at the supermarket announce the price of every item as you scan it. Here you are standing with your handy basket for shopping convenience, and you've picked up a bunch of things that are nothing out of the ordinary, which as part of your regular groceries would be unremarkable. But on an individual basis and checking yourself out, suddenly each item assumes epic proportions, as the jolly synthesized voice cheerfully informs you of the prices, and you find that you can't stop yourself from yelling, "What do you mean $3.19 for that little squatty box of crackers? How could that cheese be $4.99?? Don't tell me that ice cream was $5.79 for crying out loud!" I say no good can come of this, and it's a wonder to me that they don't have more riots at these self-serve registers, or at least broken speakers where the synthesized voices used to be.
Well, this certainly has been an eventful week, full of celebrations for May Day, Greek Orthodox Easter, Cinco de Mayo, and of course, this coming Sunday is Mother's Day already. (YIPES!) Everybody knows that our local newspaper is nothing if not helpful, so they had gathered together a collection of sure-fire recipes to serve as a treat to Moms everywhere on their special day. These delicacies included "Lettuce Salad with Fresh Herbs and Goat Cheese Roustade," "Creamy Risotto with Poached Asparagus" and "Sliced Fennel with Oven-Roasted Garlic Vinaigrette," which Bill volunteered to make for me on Mother's Day, but I said he would have to catch me first. The best part of the whole thing for me is having Monday off from work (HOORAY!!!) although you know I'm not looking forward to that short week when I get back to work next week. But I suppose we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it, unless the people trying to steal it have already pushed it upriver.
posted by El Tango Fandango @ 6:49 PM
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